Office dares

C

[Cerebus]

Guest
Feeling bored in the office? Looking for something new and exciting to do?

Why not initiate an office dare system - however to do it properly only you and one work mate are allowed to know the dare. Sound confusing? Well read on.......

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".

7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

9) While riding an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINTS DARES

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
double-barrelled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in"the report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

And if that wasn't enough for you...

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6) In the subject field for all your e-mails, write " FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS".

7) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

8) Don't use any punctuation

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12) Sing along at the opera.

13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17) When the money comes out of cashpoint, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"

18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Anymore suggestions will be appriciated............
 
O

Ozwaldo

Guest
Must say, very funny

Now which one shall I try 1st
 
I

ivan_tribbiani

Guest
Tried a few hehehehehe, you should have seen peoples faces.... actually my boss liked the one with 'Morning Bob' , ' Certainly Bob' .. ' No i think someone else can make you a cup of cofee Bob' - my Boss is female :p
 
P

- Pathfinder -

Guest
Originally posted by ivan_tribbiani
Tried a few hehehehehe, you should have seen peoples faces.... actually my boss liked the one with 'Morning Bob' , ' Certainly Bob' .. ' No i think someone else can make you a cup of cofee Bob' - my Boss is female :p

You, Sir, are queer!
 
I

ivan_tribbiani

Guest
I dont think of myself as one..... but i recon me is gonna have to stay after workhours to help her with some documents <shes Swedish and cant read Russian hehe > :p ehem , Typical wednesday.
 
P

- Pathfinder -

Guest
Staying after work, eh? Explicit personal favours, eh? :p Hmm, Swedish :D
 
I

ivan_tribbiani

Guest
Thats how i manage to get a few days off per month <plus the weekends>.... lets say we have an understanding :p wont say anymore
 
O

old.dittytwo

Guest
PATH I THINK THAT YOU WAS LOOKING FOR

:sex: :sex: :sex: :sex: :whip: :sex:
 
O

old.tRoG

Guest
well, that was fun :)

some of them were pretty easy, i even managed to do the national anthem one ;)
 
S

SFXman

Guest
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
HAHAHAHAH, this could look very very funny... also it would be important if you are able to act very well in a way that as if you didn't notice anything strange. Hehe...
 
B

Brinx

Guest
Some more:

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen
while talking to others.

3. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

4. Practice making fax and modem noises.

5. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc."
them to your boss.

6. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

7. Adjust the tint on office monitors so that everything is green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

8. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

9. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking"
noise.

10. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute the office carpark.

11. Bring a small terrior dog to work complete with tartan jacket and cap. When workers enquire why it's running under their desks and chewing things tell them, "that's just the chief doing his biz".

12. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom
of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

13. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a
parakeet.
 

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