near, near death experiences

[tris-]

today someone reminded me of a humourous story. the story of a boy who weilded a hand grenade.

one day in the park with a friend we happend across a metal detecting hobbiest. he informed us he found something 'over there' so me and my friend raced to it. i found it, in the muddy pile. a rusted object, i didnt know what it was but i got there first so it was mine anyway. i took it to someone who thought it to be a dud hand grenade. this thing was rusty so the first thing in mind was to clean it up. for a while me and my friend threw this thing at a tree to try get the rust off, it didnt happen.

the next day i get the grenade and proceed to bash it off concrete, still nothing budges.

someone takes it into work as they work with the police to try establish its exact origions. next thing he knows the chief constable is calling in the bomb squad to do a controlled explosion on his car. well the guy isnt having any of this. he goes to the car, retrieves the grenade and takes it into the middle of a skid pan. they blow it up inside a box. the experts say it could of wiped out the house and knocked the other houses over a bit.

anyone else have some near,near death expierences to share?

 

[Basic_X]

Well. wasnt exatly me. but when i was younger - i soaked my brother in car fuel. and i was actually looking for a lighter (well i was only 4 years old or so). Im allmost certan i would light him up if i found one

 

[Chronictank]

not quite near death but slipped climbing over a fence when i was young and stupid and got a protruding 4" nail dug into my chest,
and 1somehow missed everything important ><
still have the scar tho :/

 

[Raven]

trying to make nitroglycerin, not a good idea really but we were 14 and bored country folk, my mates mum was is chemist and told us how, quite lucky we failed

 

[Cemeterygates]

well.....doin 110mph in a car an coming about 2inches from hitting another car head on doin about 60mph i would say is a near death experience...170mph impact would be what...99.9% chance of splatted ceme...lol

 

[Zegas]

Me and my brother was playing a game throwing metal bars at each other, I got one in the head :| Some frontal lobe damage but alive nonetheless :/

I still can't remember anything of my life from before that point though even today :S

 

[grimlin]

a horny horse chased me in a field whn i was going school

 

[Ezteq]

a horny horse chased me in a field whn i was going school

wouldnt that be a rhino?



i almost went to see titanic at the cinema, but was saved by an attack of ebola just minutes before curtain up.

thank God!!

 

[grimlin]

wouldnt that be a rhino?



i almost went to see titanic at the cinema, but was saved by an attack of ebola just minutes before curtain up.

thank God!!

no i dont live in africa. thats brackus

 

[Celestino]

well.....doin 110mph in a car an coming about 2inches from hitting another car head on doin about 60mph i would say is a near death experience...170mph impact would be what...99.9% chance of splatted ceme...lol

About a month ago i was doin around 250 km/h on the autobahn, when I saw a bird swooping down, those seconds till it hit the windshield felt like ages, the sound of it was phenomenal and I nearly ran into a car infront of me coz it took me quite a few seconds to comprehend that I was not feeling any pain and everything was alright...the glass wasn't even broken and I was still doing fullspeed ahead ...
The bird on the other side wasn't that lucky, literally turned inside out...
Scared the shit out of me .)

 

[Himse]

Well, ive almost been hit by a car 7 ish times :| thats about it


Also, my dad had a big anchor come off the back of a lorry into the windscreen, like 50kilo of metal just plonk on the passenger seat. if i was there i would have been instakilled :<

 

[DavidH]

Been in serious car crashes 2 times. Both was like inches and seconds from sure death.

 

[JoshYouAre]

I was clinically dead and resusitated by paramedics. Does that count, or do I need to start a new thread called actual death experiences?

 

[DocWolfe]

my cocks bigger than yours! na na!

 

[Lothoras]

dunno if i would have died, but once a car braked down from prolly 50km/hr in front of me, and it was touching my pants/knees :< good brakes i guess... the man inside the car didnt look too happy, and his dame on his side had eyes large as tennisballs

 

[Lothoras]

my cocks bigger than yours! na na!

wtf?

 

[Samaroon|Terracotta]

I once broke my little finger playing basketball, 2 weeks later i had an operation on it.

Pretty life threatening if you ask me!

 

[Huntingtons]

I once broke my little finger playing basketball, 2 weeks later i had an operation on it.

Pretty life threatening if you ask me!

i guess when you wank with your pinky it is :/

 

[Ezteq]

seriously though, i once had a near death experience i was only really young at the time and was swimming, got caught in this ferocious current and washed along for ages, went in this cave and got trapped in this big tarpaulin type thingy.

Any way that broke against the force of the tide and i was swept further in.








and to this very day im always grateful my folks used a defective condom.

 

[soze]

Me and a friend were throwing knives at the shed at the end of our garden i went to pick mine up and his one hit me in the back of the neck handle first. Ended up with a sore neck and back and when i caved to the doc about what happened he said if the blade had hit me it would have severed my spinal cord.

TBH looking back now seems like scare tactics but it worked, from that day on my mate went and got te knives.

Ohh and once when i was a baby we went to the seaside and i decided that in the tide was a good place for a nap so kept laying down so i had to keep getting dragged away from the water.

 

[Lamp]

I was offered a job to work in the World Trade Centre in New York.

I decided not to take it.

On 9.11 terrorists flew two planes into the WTC.

 

[Naetha]

About 18 months ago I was driving across from Leeds to Manchester - traffic was pretty heavy, but very fast moving - I was travelling about 85 / 90 mph and keeping up with the flow of traffic in the outside lane.

Suddenly the cars ahead of me slammed their brakes on, and because of the speed everyone was travelling at, everyone had to herringbone into the central reservation or the middle lane to avoid crashing into the back of eachother. Thankfully I was concentrating, and I always leave a good distance between myself in the car in front, but even still there was only about 6 inches between myself and the car in front. I screeched to a halt, and breathed a sigh of relief - it was too close for comfort. I looked in my rear view mirror, and I saw a UPS armoured van coming up behind me at about 80 mph, but worst of all from what I could see there was nobody at the wheel. I felt like everything was going in slow motion, and I was convinced I was going to die. At the last second, the driver (who I'm guessing had dropped something and was trying to pick it up) sat up, looked ahead and swerved into the middle lane where he got honked at a lot. As it was, he clipped the outside of my rear bumper, but only enough to wobble the car. I reckon I was within split seconds of being straight out killed.

Since then I've been a hell of a lot more careful about my driving. I still drive fast, but I never mess around with CDs or look for stuff in my bag etc while I'm driving, and I always make sure I leave a safe stopping distance between me and the car in front. The problem is, I can do all of that, and still get killed by some twat tailgating me.

 

[eggy]

Went to a festival, friend drove in his (now overweight based on passengers + tents + beers etc), only when he was going 95mph did he realise he had forgotten to had his brakes done, car stopped fast in front, he slammed on brakes, was going to pile straight into the car, but luckily, on that tiny stretch of motorway there was space next to the central reservation...just enough to get a car through...so basically overtook, skidded past 20 cars down the central reservation...nearly shat my pants.

 

[Sparx]

i had a bbq at my house and choked on a burger i stopped breathing for a minute, none of my friends knew what to do but a second wind kicked in and i managed to get it out myself.

I burst every blood vessel in my face and i felt weak and drunk the rest of the night, shock was bad too, i tell you its not like the movies where they get up and carry on like nothing happened

 

[Sharaft]

Last summer me and 3 other buddies were driving around, me and 2 others had been drinkin a few beers and the driver was sober. Then he suddenly asks if he can show us a speed bump (or what the hell its called). We said no ofcourse caus hes the devil himself when he's hittin the road.

So he was gonna drive us home and missed the X-road to where we live and just kept driving on, then 200-500 meter after the x-road he asked the same god damn question. We said yes now caus we were near this so cool thing he had found etc..

He drove up to it and had round 120 km/h up a road that was a limit of 50 km/h. Then he said "heres the bump, look now" and he took all the engine could get on a looooooong long long road. Then drove back with the same speed, i think we were up in 170 km/h speed, hit the bump, landed, both wheels on left side of car explodes, we ram in to 1... 2...3...4...5 signs.. all broke over still the car was moving, then we hit a security fence round 60, 70 km/h.. all survived, when the ambulance came they just said "Oh my god, you should be dead now, you got a guarding angel!"

Only damage i got from it is a problem with my sleep. The doctors said it may occur on my psychic maybe 1 day, 1 week 1 month 1 year after the impact. 2 months after i got it :/

creepy if ya ask me..

 

[old.Tohtori]

There is no NEAR death experiences.

Death, that dude ain't f*cking around. If he comes for you, he comes for you and that's it.

There's death, there's almost accidents and accidents, then there's you getting f*cked up and being in a breathing machine for life because of some idiot driving a car at 110mph *looks at Cemeterygates*

And that's that.

I've had plenty of near hits with cars, been taken to the hospital many many times, should've died of a heartattack 10 years ago and so on. But nothing to do with death.

 

[Lamp]

There is no NEAR death experiences.

Wrong.

A near-death experience (NDE) is the perception reported by a person who nearly died or who was clinically dead and revived. The experience is somewhat common, especially since the development of cardiac resuscitation techniques. According to a Gallup poll approximately eight million Americans claim to have had a near-death experience (Mauro, 1992).

 

[Sharaft]

I though near death experience is when your mind shut down, as that happend when i was in the carcrash, i just been told what happend

 

[old.Tohtori]

Wrong.

A near-death experience (NDE) is the perception reported by a person who nearly died or who was clinically dead and revived. The experience is somewhat common, especially since the development of cardiac resuscitation techniques. According to a Gallup poll approximately eight million Americans claim to have had a near-death experience (Mauro, 1992).

Yeah, and three million americans have been to the planet Zrr'ngthababu to have their appendix removed to prevent a galactic war.

I still say it's either death or no death.

 

[Lamp]

Yeah, and three million americans have been to the planet Zrr'ngthababu to have their appendix removed to prevent a galactic war.

I still say it's either death or no death.

But the point of this thread is NEAR death.

Agree that you're only dead or alive. Unless ofc undead counts...

Do you get many undead in Finland ?