Mysteries solved!!

[Damini]

By you lot. Perhaps.

I'm just thinking of why or what questions, and hoping that maybe you lot can come up with some answers. Yes, mildly bored.

1) Why do Chavs have to spit all the time? Is it genetic, territorial, sexual, or mystery other?

2) What would happen in the Fox Documentary - "When David Blain Attacks!"

3) What are the origins of the evil gold clowns with glowey red evil gem eyes that people wear as jewelry?

4) Why do people who can't type or spell go online and try to communicate? I wouldn't tie my legs and arms together and then try to communicate through the medium of dance, so what urges them on?

5) Why do parmaviolets taste of powdered old lady, and who on earth actually likes them?

6) Why aren't olives poisonous, when they taste like they should be?

7) Timmy Mallet. Why?

8) Whats the best sandwich in the world?


9) ASL!??????!!"£!! (Just to appease Cage)

There you go, if anyone else wants to kill some time I'd like some answers. Damnit! Or some more questions.

 

[Will]

I like Parama Violets and olives, though not at the same time. I'll pass on the other mysteries, apart from a chuckle about the dancing/talking thing.

 

[Furr]

What is ASL?????

I like olives, they are tasty.

 

[Ono]

I'm totally stumped.


WTF are you on about Damini?

 

[Gumbo]

American Sign Language apparently.

Also Age/Sex/Location. a IRC, AIM MSN type abbreviation.

 

[bodhi]

Originally posted by Damini
8) Whats the best sandwich in the world?


9) ASL!??????!!"£!! (Just to appease Cage)

There you go, if anyone else wants to kill some time I'd like some answers. Damnit! Or some more questions. [/B]

8) Foot Long Steak and Cheese Sub with salad, jalapenos and mayonnaise.


9) 13/f/California. Wanna cyber?

 

[Insane]

1) Why do Chavs have to spit all the time? Is it genetic, territorial, sexual, or mystery other?

What the fuck is a Chav? is it like a wild cat or something? maybe its a predatory instinct or something, or maybe it ate an olive.

2) What would happen in the Fox Documentary - "When David Blain Attacks!"

he's probably going to attack an olive tree, either that or case himself in ice for a while

3) What are the origins of the evil gold clowns with glowey red evil gem eyes that people wear as jewelry?

evil towny manufacturing plants, or gypseys.. either of them are the scourge of the earth, and its not really gold... its from the patch of land where grass doesnt grow..

4) Why do people who can't type or spell go online and try to communicate? I wouldn't tie my legs and arms together and then try to communicate through the medium of dance, so what urges them on?

they think they could start a new craze, just look at the "macarena" and similar dances... it was some asmatic in the middle of a club taking a fit

5) Why do parmaviolets taste of powdered old lady, and who on earth actually likes them?

the question on my mind is, How do you know what the taste of powdered old lady is?

6) Why aren't olives poisonous, when they taste like they should be?

its to fool people into eating poisionous stuff that tastes nice, like "honey" and "chocolate" and "beer"

7) Timmy Mallet. Why?

to encourage haterid in the youngsters of that day, and to learn them that they DO have the ability to kill someone, and to make people eat olives...

8) Whats the best sandwich in the world?

whatevers sitting on my plate when im starving...
as long as it doesnt contain olives or parmaviolets

9) ASL!??????!!"£!! (Just to appease Cage)

 

[Damini]

chav.

I can't eat jalapenos. I don't know why anyone wants to eat anything that is accompanied by a sense of suffering. It makes me livid when you order chicken and black bean sauce and they spike it with chilli powder, and it just *hurts*. Food shouldn't hurt.

I've just been to see The Worst Stand Up Comedy ever. It actually bought tears to my eyes. This guy starting dying and then just started copying whole sections of Bill Hicks, even down to the exact intonation. It was awful. Going on about his smoking, when he doesn't even smoke. Somehow, eating jalapenos reminded me of this.

Sadly Bodhi, as I'm a 47 year old male from Istanbul, cybering you would be illegal.

 

[Insane]

Originally posted by Damini
chav.

aah! a "towny" or "spide" as they are referred as over here.

in answer to it, its a genetic defect caused through excessive trauma to the skull and abdomen.

 

[Scooba Da Bass]

Re: Re: Mysteries solved!!

Originally posted by Insane
he's probably going to attack an olive tree, either that or case himself in ice for a while

Wouldn't that be David Blaine, unless David Blain is his less successful friend who steals his act.

 

[Damini]

The "e" is there. It's just invisible.


Dernernahnah - dernernahnah (meant to sound like that spooky music)

 

[LTF]

Townies must die!!11
/thinks up hitler-esq plan to rid the counrty of them...










/fails...

 

[whipped]

7) Timmy Mallet. Why?

It was a pre-emptive attempt to elimted No. 4. It didn't work all that well, although most people from that era can reciet the following :-

"It's a word association game where you mustn't pause, mustn't hesitated, otherwise you get a bash on the head like this *Bang* or like this *Bang*"

Oh, it was also an attempt at making glasses cool. I, and my shattered ego, can testify that it did not.

 

[xane]

1) Sexual. "genetic" implies some functioning evolutionary trait, and "territorial" implies a medium of intelligence - reasoned by elimination.

2) no idea who he is.

4) soem poeple missssspell deleberaterly, it maeks themm kool doodzz.

5) how do you know what a powdered old lady tastes like, previous occupation: nurse to Dr Shipman ???

6) olive's what ?

7) because he's a hero

8) bread and butter (a.k.a. "wish sandwich")

9) too old/too little/too close

 

[Mellow-]

Originally posted by Damini
1) Why do Chavs have to spit all the time? Is it genetic, territorial, sexual, or mystery other?

4) Why do people who can't type or spell go online and try to communicate? I wouldn't tie my legs and arms together and then try to communicate through the medium of dance, so what urges them on?

5) Why do parmaviolets taste of powdered old lady, and who on earth actually likes them?

7) Timmy Mallet. Why?

8) Whats the best sandwich in the world?

The answers as I see them are:

1) They think they look hard doing it or they just have a large amount of flegm in their gobs. Which is probably due to inbreeding, so it's a genetic thing.

4) Because online they are faceless and can't be insulted quite so directly as a face to face verbal assault. They feel safe I should imagine.

5) You know what powdered old lady tastes like?

7) Whackadays was entertaining. "ha ha, you got that question wrong i'm going to hit you with my mallet" Which just promotes child violence with real hammers

8) Ham, Salad, Mayo or Tuna & Mayo. Possibly. Or to be truly British, Bacon.

The others I don't know and don't care.

 

[whipped]

I forgot to add. The best sandwich in the work is. Dairylea cheese spread and Maryland chocolate cookies. Yum, Yum!

 

[Insane]

Originally posted by whipped
I forgot to add. The best sandwich in the work is. Dairylea cheese spread and Maryland chocolate cookies. Yum, Yum!

uke:

im quite fond of the usual ploughmans sandwich, or the tripple cheese sandwiches you get from Shell garages during long road trips to nowhere on a saturday afternoon...

Dairylea rocks on toast in the morning

 

[Sir Frizz]

Here's a few questions:

What is the purpose of meaning?

What does chicken taste like?

What is Michael Jackson?

Who are you and who do you work for?

 

[whipped]

Well the answer to all those questions is Chicken

 

[Shocko]

1) Why do Chavs have to spit all the time? Is it genetic, territorial, sexual, or mystery other?
Sexual. They see footballers and other sports people spitting, and want to be like them, but cannot due to being fat and lazy, hence they imitate the spitting since it's all they can imitate...

4) Why do people who can't type or spell go online and try to communicate? I wouldn't tie my legs and arms together and then try to communicate through the medium of dance, so what urges them on?
Put it this way - If they don't hang around in forums where it's "cool" to be iliterate, then their spelling can only improve. Untill i started posting on forums, i couldn't spell at all, proberbly because nearly all my writing was done at school. In *shudder* English lessons. Now when practising writing in a situation you don't like, you'll never get good at it. Forums take up the majority of my written(well, typed) English - Without them, i never would have learned to use the language properly.

5) Why do parmaviolets taste of powdered old lady, and who on earth actually likes them?
I don't know, but i think my sister likes them :uhoh:

8) Whats the best sandwich in the world?
Sausage and Bacon with a little bit of Cucumber in French Stick bread, with lots of ketchup.

 

[Damini]

Micheal Jackson is Morph. He escaped from the studio after the tv series got axed, and kidnapped Micheal Jackson, and took his place; such was his taste for being in the public eye.

However, being so far from Tony Hart's loving hands, and spending so long under the bright lights of the media can only have an adverse effect on play doh. Primarily it bleached the colour out of it, and then it began to crumble and decay. Morph has been seeing many surgeons to try and rectify this, but they can only do so much.


The real Micheal Jackson had his memory removed, and is now a down and out busking in LA. His friends call him Longo.

 

[Munkey-]

jesus. i actually liked timmy mallet when i was little. and listened to a little radio programme of his on some airlines inflight music.


ah to be young and foolish


any chance of hearing your brilliant performance damini?



Best sandwich in the world is...............the crisp sandwich.

 

[old.Kez]

The problem with this thread, is that it invites us to be funny in our answers.

And look where its got us. There's more than one of you that makes me cringe.

 

[Damini]

Kez, give in to the cheap joke opportunities. You know you want to.

 

[Will]

Milking us for stand-up material indeed. You should be ashamed.

 

[Damini]

The lies! The terrible lies!

*hides notepad*

Heh.

 

[Will]

Rumbled. Send me parma violets and olives or I'll tell.

 

[.cage]

we need chavs for those days you're not feeling good about yourself, and need to witness just how shit you could be, but luckily you're not. etc.

 

[ECA]

what the fuck is this, scooby doo?

 

[.cage]

yes, it is