My neighbour is a bit of a loonie

[Tom]

In my back room, right at the back of the house near the dining area (ok, its connected to the back room, and the only thing that makes it not the back room is that there are tiles on the floor), on the wall, high above the reach of the cats, is a vent.

This is no ordinary vent. Its a speshul vent designed to balance out the air in the room, because I have a flueless gas fire, and apparently lots of clever scientists have decided that I must have this vent installed. Anyway, this vent is basically a large hole bored through the 2 layers of bricks, capped at either end with a slatted piece of plastic. You know the kind of thing. The design, while aerodynamic, also allows the passage of sounds.

No problem there you might think, but you don't have a neighbour like mine.

Not that shes a problem at all, in fact shes a very nice person, and always friendly when I meet her on the street (although I always initiate the 'hello how are you' greeting, without which she would duck away and ignore me). She rarely leaves her house, the curtains are always closed, and tbh the place is a bit of an eyesore. Thats fine though, because there isn't anything intrinsically wrong with strangeness, its one of those things that makes life more interesting.

I know from my other neighbours that she has attempted suicide in the past, which does kind of worry me, although I don't think she's yet attempted suicide by gas/fire.

Now, she has a dog. Great! Dogs are good. She takes the dog for a walk each day, and thats fine. She even speaks to her dog on occasion, but don't we all do that? You're probably wandering at this point, 'what the fuck does this have to do with his vent'. Well, I'll tell ya. The vent overlooks her back door (because I have an extension, and she doesn't). Because of this, I sometimes get to hear her dog barking as its let into the back yard. Well, the other day, I heard her talking to someone.

Ok, yes I'm a nosy bastard, I moved closer to the vent, and had a listen. I couldn't quite make it out, so I pulled a chair over, stood on it, and put my ear against the vent (much to the annoyance of the cat, which was kipping on the chair). She was talking about her hospital appointments, I presume, to the neighbour on her side. Not very interesting then. Less so, because I couldn't hear the other neighbour's replies.

Not that I ever would. After a couple of minutes, the truth dawned upon me, and I realised that she was talking to her dog. No, wait, not talking - HAVING A FUCKING CONVERSATION WITH IT. The dog wasn't talking back either, so it wasn't some real-life Shrek incident.

I managed to stop myself gibbering with fear and running into a corner protecting myself with a knife.

Anyone else out there got a mental neighbour?

 

[Cyfr]

Maybe its an avid gamer, they dont go out much, and prolly talk to their dogs... it could be someone on freddyshouse!

Our neighbours like to throw nappies and teddys over the wall, but thats about it..
oh and another one that never went out, slept 23.9 hours of the day and belived in those stupid inner self video things.. (you know 'Ogaboga I will win the lottery)..

 

[Uncle Sick]

Our neighbours like to throw nappies and teddys over the wall, but thats about it..

Because they're raving pedos and try to lure you over to their place... watch out, young man!11

 

[FuzzyLogic]

I have conversations with my cat too, just last week he was complaining about the decline in quality of rainwater because of all the shit in the air. Does that make me insane?

 

[JBP|]

i too had a mental neighbour some years ago when i was in a flat...

she used to stick bits of paper through my letter box with things written in french on them (i assume it was french anyway)


and one time while i had a few mates round i had gone into the kitchen to make drinks when they all started laughing and called me back into the room,
on my return i didnt notic that anything was amiss so asked what was going on,apperently while they were playing a game on the sega saturnthey heard a noise comming from the front door ,they turned around and there was a broom handle waving around frantically protruding through my leter box.


on other occasions the neighbour could be heard to scream and what i can only assume was throwing crockery at the walls


needless to say in the end i had little choice but to a)knock on her door and tell her to stop her antics and b) report her to the council for being a total loon

it all stopped quite soon after that you may be glad to hear

 

[Cyradix]

I just have the beautiful, rich, divorced, breast implant, cosmetic surgery, etc.... neighbour who likes to sun bade naked at her swimming pool....

And no, I’m not bragging

 

[old.Tohtori]

Meh, all people talk to their pets...even have conversations. Nothing looney, just a bit lonely.

 

[SAS]

I used to have a neigbour who coughed up their guts each morning, every time I was in the bathroom getting ready for school. I swear he used to time it just right. Thing is there were no vents like in Tom's case, just the wall, but you could clearly hear the *smack* noise as the huge ball of phlem hit the sink, followed by more gut wrenching noise of him producing another mount of crap.

 

[Tom]

Meh, all people talk to their pets...even have conversations. Nothing looney, just a bit lonely.

No, this is like:

"Yes, and did you see the state of that wall?"

"...."

"I know, it was terrible, wasn't it"

"...."

"Well I told Sheila about it, what do you think she will do?"

"YAP"

"Yes I agree, blah blah"


Now tell me thats normal.

 

[Insane]

I have conversations with my cat too, just last week he was complaining about the decline in quality of rainwater because of all the shit in the air. Does that make me insane?

im lucky, my neighbours arnt mad.. just their pets themselves.

 

[old.Osy]

That's normal.

 

[Cask]

My neighbours are great. They don't play loud music and don't complain about me playing loud music. These apartments have a pretty high turnover so they change all the time, the girl living across from me right now is a cutie though

Parents neighbours are insane. Just a couple of weeks ago one of them crashed his car into the side of my parents house smashing in the front door, and instead of apologising he just drove off. Left a letter a few days later with just basically saying that his insurance company has been informed but at present it looks like the parents might have to get the money from their house insurance.

This was the same guy that wrote a letter to council complaining about the noise when I had ONE band practice in our front room about 4 years ago. Weirdos everywhere.

 

[Gef]

Maybe she was on the phone?

 

[mr.Blacky]

That would make sense.
Oh and I am a mad loonie neighbour.

 

[Clown]

My mum and dad has conversations with our dog. You know when they talk in that "talk-to-a-baby voice". My dog seems to understand every word of it though, He's a clever doggy

 

[~Yuckfou~]

Perhaps she's talking to her hubby, or sister or some other dead relative.
She's just lonely

 

[mr.Blacky]

You should go to her now Tom, be a hero to all the lonely people. Oh and don't go without some means of self protection. Protection is always good when you don't know what that person has done and you want to be close to her

 

[]AC[dRuM]

mans best friend is never wrong

 

[~Yuckfou~]

You should go to her now Tom, be a hero to all the lonely people. Oh and don't go without some means of self protection. Protection is always good when you don't know what that person has done and you want to be close to her

This worries me :/