S
S-Gray
Guest
Murphy's Law - CS
Blatently nicked from another Forum, but its a good + true read heh (Long)
Your last words will always be "Cover Me".
"Sector clear" means it was clear just b4 5 enemies appeared.
You never hit anyone through the walls, everyone hits you through the wall.
The sniper on the roof will always get hit in the head by the newbie with a pistol on the ground.
Your team-mates are allways dyslexics.
The moment you switch to the winning team it'll lose.
There are always "too many Counter-Terrorists/Terrorists" on the winning team.
The second you take you eye's off the door, the enemy bursts through and shoots you.
"GG" mean's it was fun to beat you 22 games to 1.
The Ak-47 is a superior sniper rifle.
The camper is always an asset to your team when he does good.
The same camper is a newbie when he does bad.
The enemy camper is always a newbie, BEOTCH, lameass.
Enemy snipers are omnipitent.
Friendly snipers are impotent.
Cover is a one-way mirror that you're on the wrong side of.
Enemy suppresive will kill you far more frequently than any sniper.
Friendly suppresive will kill you far more frequently than any sniper.
Cover is what the enemy shoots you through.
A 'magnetic personality' is an 'undocumented feature' of the AWP.
Kevlar turns to soggy toilet paper when in close proximity to lead.
The one time you don't test fire your gun is the one time it jams.
You will allways spawn immeadiatly in front of a test firing newbie.
Your team-mates are all enthusiastic proponents of trepanning.
All newbies are the Dim Reaper incarnate.
The enemy grenades are guided nuclear missiles.
Your grenades are firecrackers on pot.
The enemy will always find a way to buy AWP's in the second round.
No matter how hard you work on the first round, you will never have enough cash for an AWP on the second round.
An enemy will always have an mp5 in the first round.
You will never have an mp5 in the first round.
The best player on your team will always switch to the other side.
The best player on the other side will remain loyal till the end.
An experienced player is the one that stays back until you are dead, then he will move in and finish off the enemies you hurt badly.
The opposing team always gets the best snipers.
Grenades are those things that home in on you when you are a ct in cs_siege.
When you buy a grenade, it blows up in your face when you toss it.
You always buy that powerful weapon for an enemy.
your enemies run faster than you.
Your enemies jump higher than you.
A door is that thing where you always die when you approach it.
Bullets are those things you keep running out of, and the enemies keep killing you with.
A good weapon is an enemy weapon.
A bad weapon is your weapon.
He who buys the M249 gets killed by an mp5.
An mp5 in the hands of an enemy: the greatest weapon ever.
An AWP in your hands: worse than a glock.
If you buy an M249, kevlar with helmet, diffuse kit, grenade and flash bang only means you'll be playing with a pistol and no armor the next couple of rounds.
Cash is that thing your enemies always have too much of.
"Winning team" is synonimous with "enemy team."
Every time ff is turned on, you get shot in the head by a teammate.
"FF on" means "team killers wanted."
Your mom will always fluff at you to get off the computer, then when you tear your eyes off the screen, last enemy shows up.
The enemy will always show up while your typi WWADAWDAWSDAWEAW!
The bomb will count down as fast as neccisary to blow up one pixel before you're done.
No matter how fast you run, the bomb will get you.
The other guy never holds still for long enough, but you may as well be in cement.
Hostages attract bullets to their leader (you).
The second you spend 10k on a Para and all the fixin's, AWP rounds start flying through your spleen.
A team-mate is someone who kills the guy who killed you (after you're dead).
Power Outage: God's way of saying "Christ, I can smell you up here, go take a shower or some type of chemical bath!"
Lag: Always happens to you and only you.
De_Fang: The map where the walls shoot at you.
The one time a guy is guarding the vent in assault with an AWP, you jump in.
The one time you guard the vent in assault with an AWP, no one comes through there and some goober caps you with a TMP from across the warehouse.
Ladder: Blocks your SMG shots, not theirs.
There will always be an enemy where you don't look.
Terrorist: Point and Click.
Counter-Terrorist: Run, Point, but other guy clicks first.
AWP's are very deadly till you use them.
The last enemy can always take enough AWP shots to kill you, then take your gun and slaughter your team.
Binds: Speedier ways to die.
Getting ****ed and not buying anything usually means you see no enemies till you grab one of their guns, and by then the floor was verticle.
The one time you need grenades, you don't have them.
Whenever you go AFK, you always come back after 61 secs right after a map change.
Blaster with ping of 10: High speed idiot
Blaster: Hostage with a gun who can't find fire button
The amount of money you spend is directly porportional to the probability of your immidiate death.
Scope: Way to zoom in on box so guy with knife can sneak up on you.
You know the enemies dead until he shoots you.
Luck: Something other people have.
Aim: Something you should have, but other people are better at it.
In a dogfight, you will alway die after you take your opponent down to 4% health, then a teammates grenade finishes him off, giving the Armed Hostage your kill, and leaving you dead.
The last guy on the enemy team is also the most dangerous.
The definition of Fear is standing on the top of a ladder in assault with 35 health.
Yes, they can be stupid enough to come that way.
Hostages are made out of new material which magnetically attracts bulltes.
No matter how good of a typist you are, in battle everything comes out like this: "emeny ay fist vox!!!!".
If a 1200 pinger, and a 24 pinger join the game, the 1200 pinger will always join your team.
The ledge is always closer than you expect.
Your enemy never needs to reload.
No matter how clear and wide the hallway, Hostages will get stuck on a small rock.
The minute you start to defuse the bomb, a Terrorist will emerge out of thin air and knife you in the head.
No matter how thick the walls, the bullet WILL find you.
Glock bursts will always cluster around the enemy's head.
The minute you're about to stab the enemy, is when you notice you 'glide' across the ground, only to hear the sound of water, and your eyelevel sideways along the ground.
The bullets you buy, are indeed made of Rubber.
When camping, remember that there's always a better camper.
The term 'You take the point.', is often herd prior to you being knifed in the head.
Your opponent can always reload faster than you draw your knife.
Your V.I.P. is always called A.F.K.
"follow me" means "i'll go ahead and alert them, you follow and catch the bullets they fire at me".
C.S. isn't a matter of life and death...it's more important.
If your team drop the bomb it will allways be in the darkest, most inaccessable corner of the map.
If the enemy team will only drop the bomb AFTER it's been armed.
Lag is gods way of telling you to get a life.
A Cheat is someone who uses water-proof bedding and sleeps with a nightlight.
For every grenade thrown there is an equal and opposite rebound.
If all is quite, it just means the enemy has to reload.
Your team-mates never seem to listen to you.
No matter what, never listen to your team-mates.
If jumping up and down was a valid defensive tactic, pogo-sticks would be standard equipment in all SWAT teams.
Your always the last one to realize that the dark figure in front of you is NOT your team-mate.
Being surrounded by team-mates simply means you have no room to dodge bullets.
No matter how dark it is, the enemy can always see you.
The gun on the ground is always empty.
In a knife fight his always hits first.
Flashbangs always blind, unless you thow them.
Blatently nicked from another Forum, but its a good + true read heh (Long)
Your last words will always be "Cover Me".
"Sector clear" means it was clear just b4 5 enemies appeared.
You never hit anyone through the walls, everyone hits you through the wall.
The sniper on the roof will always get hit in the head by the newbie with a pistol on the ground.
Your team-mates are allways dyslexics.
The moment you switch to the winning team it'll lose.
There are always "too many Counter-Terrorists/Terrorists" on the winning team.
The second you take you eye's off the door, the enemy bursts through and shoots you.
"GG" mean's it was fun to beat you 22 games to 1.
The Ak-47 is a superior sniper rifle.
The camper is always an asset to your team when he does good.
The same camper is a newbie when he does bad.
The enemy camper is always a newbie, BEOTCH, lameass.
Enemy snipers are omnipitent.
Friendly snipers are impotent.
Cover is a one-way mirror that you're on the wrong side of.
Enemy suppresive will kill you far more frequently than any sniper.
Friendly suppresive will kill you far more frequently than any sniper.
Cover is what the enemy shoots you through.
A 'magnetic personality' is an 'undocumented feature' of the AWP.
Kevlar turns to soggy toilet paper when in close proximity to lead.
The one time you don't test fire your gun is the one time it jams.
You will allways spawn immeadiatly in front of a test firing newbie.
Your team-mates are all enthusiastic proponents of trepanning.
All newbies are the Dim Reaper incarnate.
The enemy grenades are guided nuclear missiles.
Your grenades are firecrackers on pot.
The enemy will always find a way to buy AWP's in the second round.
No matter how hard you work on the first round, you will never have enough cash for an AWP on the second round.
An enemy will always have an mp5 in the first round.
You will never have an mp5 in the first round.
The best player on your team will always switch to the other side.
The best player on the other side will remain loyal till the end.
An experienced player is the one that stays back until you are dead, then he will move in and finish off the enemies you hurt badly.
The opposing team always gets the best snipers.
Grenades are those things that home in on you when you are a ct in cs_siege.
When you buy a grenade, it blows up in your face when you toss it.
You always buy that powerful weapon for an enemy.
your enemies run faster than you.
Your enemies jump higher than you.
A door is that thing where you always die when you approach it.
Bullets are those things you keep running out of, and the enemies keep killing you with.
A good weapon is an enemy weapon.
A bad weapon is your weapon.
He who buys the M249 gets killed by an mp5.
An mp5 in the hands of an enemy: the greatest weapon ever.
An AWP in your hands: worse than a glock.
If you buy an M249, kevlar with helmet, diffuse kit, grenade and flash bang only means you'll be playing with a pistol and no armor the next couple of rounds.
Cash is that thing your enemies always have too much of.
"Winning team" is synonimous with "enemy team."
Every time ff is turned on, you get shot in the head by a teammate.
"FF on" means "team killers wanted."
Your mom will always fluff at you to get off the computer, then when you tear your eyes off the screen, last enemy shows up.
The enemy will always show up while your typi WWADAWDAWSDAWEAW!
The bomb will count down as fast as neccisary to blow up one pixel before you're done.
No matter how fast you run, the bomb will get you.
The other guy never holds still for long enough, but you may as well be in cement.
Hostages attract bullets to their leader (you).
The second you spend 10k on a Para and all the fixin's, AWP rounds start flying through your spleen.
A team-mate is someone who kills the guy who killed you (after you're dead).
Power Outage: God's way of saying "Christ, I can smell you up here, go take a shower or some type of chemical bath!"
Lag: Always happens to you and only you.
De_Fang: The map where the walls shoot at you.
The one time a guy is guarding the vent in assault with an AWP, you jump in.
The one time you guard the vent in assault with an AWP, no one comes through there and some goober caps you with a TMP from across the warehouse.
Ladder: Blocks your SMG shots, not theirs.
There will always be an enemy where you don't look.
Terrorist: Point and Click.
Counter-Terrorist: Run, Point, but other guy clicks first.
AWP's are very deadly till you use them.
The last enemy can always take enough AWP shots to kill you, then take your gun and slaughter your team.
Binds: Speedier ways to die.
Getting ****ed and not buying anything usually means you see no enemies till you grab one of their guns, and by then the floor was verticle.
The one time you need grenades, you don't have them.
Whenever you go AFK, you always come back after 61 secs right after a map change.
Blaster with ping of 10: High speed idiot
Blaster: Hostage with a gun who can't find fire button
The amount of money you spend is directly porportional to the probability of your immidiate death.
Scope: Way to zoom in on box so guy with knife can sneak up on you.
You know the enemies dead until he shoots you.
Luck: Something other people have.
Aim: Something you should have, but other people are better at it.
In a dogfight, you will alway die after you take your opponent down to 4% health, then a teammates grenade finishes him off, giving the Armed Hostage your kill, and leaving you dead.
The last guy on the enemy team is also the most dangerous.
The definition of Fear is standing on the top of a ladder in assault with 35 health.
Yes, they can be stupid enough to come that way.
Hostages are made out of new material which magnetically attracts bulltes.
No matter how good of a typist you are, in battle everything comes out like this: "emeny ay fist vox!!!!".
If a 1200 pinger, and a 24 pinger join the game, the 1200 pinger will always join your team.
The ledge is always closer than you expect.
Your enemy never needs to reload.
No matter how clear and wide the hallway, Hostages will get stuck on a small rock.
The minute you start to defuse the bomb, a Terrorist will emerge out of thin air and knife you in the head.
No matter how thick the walls, the bullet WILL find you.
Glock bursts will always cluster around the enemy's head.
The minute you're about to stab the enemy, is when you notice you 'glide' across the ground, only to hear the sound of water, and your eyelevel sideways along the ground.
The bullets you buy, are indeed made of Rubber.
When camping, remember that there's always a better camper.
The term 'You take the point.', is often herd prior to you being knifed in the head.
Your opponent can always reload faster than you draw your knife.
Your V.I.P. is always called A.F.K.
"follow me" means "i'll go ahead and alert them, you follow and catch the bullets they fire at me".
C.S. isn't a matter of life and death...it's more important.
If your team drop the bomb it will allways be in the darkest, most inaccessable corner of the map.
If the enemy team will only drop the bomb AFTER it's been armed.
Lag is gods way of telling you to get a life.
A Cheat is someone who uses water-proof bedding and sleeps with a nightlight.
For every grenade thrown there is an equal and opposite rebound.
If all is quite, it just means the enemy has to reload.
Your team-mates never seem to listen to you.
No matter what, never listen to your team-mates.
If jumping up and down was a valid defensive tactic, pogo-sticks would be standard equipment in all SWAT teams.
Your always the last one to realize that the dark figure in front of you is NOT your team-mate.
Being surrounded by team-mates simply means you have no room to dodge bullets.
No matter how dark it is, the enemy can always see you.
The gun on the ground is always empty.
In a knife fight his always hits first.
Flashbangs always blind, unless you thow them.
