Most embarrassing incident?

X

Xtro

Guest
As Mrs Xtro is busy swotting up for her first day at a new school (before you filthy perverts say anything she's a *teacher*!) I am bored shitless...

So a new thread for you all (hopefully) to contribute to.

Ever made a complete tit of yourself/done something totally stupid/regrettable incident etc?

I've done plenty (as Fergus knows :p) but one amusing incident comes to mind.

I used to do *shitloads* of magic mushrooms and went out with a lass who was worse than me. Started Uni and hooray mushrooms not far from Uni which meant me and the gf were on planet fucking Mars - lots :) Then the landlady told me 2 student nurses were moving into my shared student house - fucking ace! Then she tells me they're christians - not ace!

The christian (and minging) student nurses start to have PRAYER MEETINGS in the living room of our house ffs! Anyway the God Squad were at it in the living room one evening when the gf comes in with about 2000 mushies and a loaf of bread (mushie sarnies). Omg Mars Attacks. Gf freaked out pretty bad and thought I was chasing her with a carving knife. In fact I had a toothbrush in my hand and was trying to retreive the crab that had jumped in her mouth (I was tripping my bollocks off remember lol). She runs into the living room shouting her fucking head off about being hacked to death. This is followed by me running in and shouting "GIVE ME THAT FUCKING CRAB BACK ITS MINE AND I LOVE IT YOU BITCH" waving a toothbrush around like its a machete.

You can guess the reaction. I was kicked out of the house 3 days later :D. Slightly annoyed by this I did piss through the letterbox about 2 weeks later to cheer myself up. Happy days lol.

er ahem - over to you :p
 
P

PR.

Guest
I think Summo has a recent anacdote that would suitably fit in here :p
 
M

mank!

Guest
Fucking LOL :)

Made me chuckle, thx!

*goes away to think of embarrassing stories he's willing to share*
 
S

S-Gray

Guest
Crab in her Mouth?? was that an Hilusionation? or somehin?? lol
 
S

Summo

Guest
Gah! I think Spelling just shot itself! :uhoh:
 
X

xenon2000

Guest
Xtro, drugs are bad, mmmkay? :p

My worst moment would have to be in swimming lessons in my first year of secondary school. The session after ours was booked by a woman who supervised a group of mentally retarded spastics (i mean that in that in a completely non-insulting way) in the pool. Now when we finished late we'd have to share the changing room with a few of these guys, which wasn't pleasant since they'd often try and steal our clothes or parade around naked (the superviser could only watch over the women's changing room), but I guess they couldn't help it. Anyway once I made the mistake of turning my back on them after I'd just got in, only to have one guy run up, yank down my shorts in front the whole room... including the teacher, and run off giggling. Not nice :/
 
W

wolfeeh

Guest
cunts self laughing.

man that owns.
:p

tell u what, u want embarassing incident. how's this:

back in the day i used to be on the swansea uni campus in a private training centre...

anyway there was this goth girl there, emma...

emma had this bf who trats her like shit for ages and stuff, breaks up with him....

for months he won't let go..

so there's this party right, and invited along is the ex bf.

always a heavy drinker he proceeds to get totally ratted

at this point it's only fair to note that emma is an absolute fucking PSYCHO.... and is, or was at least last i heard of her doing time for assault...

so out comes the video camera... and emma comes on cam carrying a test tube.... in the test tube is ice....i mean like frozen in the tube....

and suspended in the middle is a trailing piece of barbed wire.

proceeds to remove "ice dildo" from tube and takes down ex bf's trousers... inserts....

u can guess what happens.

anyway, it doesn't end there

on cam, bf wakes up in a field.... with barbed wire attached to a cow's leg.

video is shown around several pubs in swansea and stuff :)

so that's that guy's embarassing incident.

other stuff she's done... as a JOKE...

includes shitting on people's chests just before they wake up... loads of sick shit like that.

the girl is insane :p anyway
 
S

S-Gray

Guest
omg... omg... o-m-g...


that is just... omg... sick heh
 
T

Trem

Guest
Re: cunts self laughing.

Originally posted by wolfeeh
includes shitting on people's chests just before they wake up... loads of sick shit like that.

[/B]
Click to expand...

You got her address?
 
W

wolfeeh

Guest
LOL

i wish mate, lost touch a while ago.

i soooooo wanted to go out with her forever. still would.

she just had that weird sense of humour that thought violence towards other human beings was funny... but hey, i'm a masochist :p
 
W

Wij

Guest
Never was a fan of shrooms. I used to live on acid at uni. I talked to my shoe quite a lot back in those days :/
 
W

Wazzerphuk

Guest
Originally posted by Wij
Never was a fan of shrooms. I used to live on acid at uni. I talked to my shoe quite a lot back in those days :/
Click to expand...

:D
 
T

Testin da Cable

Guest
I once thought a toilet was attacking me [tripping like mad at the time]. Aparently I scared the two people shagging in the bath [jumping over them and out through the open window into the garden] more than the toilet scared me :(
 
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caLLous

Guest
Hehe TdC. :D

I can't think of anything at the moment, but this thread has reminded me of a fantistically funny one from a couple of months ago... comedy injuries or something... :D
 
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throdgrain

Guest
How about the time I was in our workshop at work shouting "suck my cock fat bird! " at the top of my voice in a very poor imitation of a west country accent when there was a knock at the (open) door and there is standing a 18 stone woman whos come to give me £2000 and collect her Yamaha ....
 
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Trem

Guest
Errrggghhhhh so glad I was told off about the text way of typing, how embarassing:(


oohhh my most embarassing moment is now.
 
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caLLous

Guest
Hehe, could you lock it to preserve it's memory now you've dug it up? Don't want it to be posted in again. :)
 
W

Wij

Guest
Ooh. Toilet ! Now that reminds me of a good one.

I was once tripping my tits off trying to have a wee in one of the lavs on my floor in my Hall of Residence. My willie was really tingling I remember, very off-putting :) Was having trouble.

Anyway, the bog-set was down and for some reason it just looked to me like the toilet was laughing at me. I started shouting things like...

"OH YEH REALLY FUCKING FUNNY. GROW UP. YOU'RE PUTTING ME OFF. FUCKING WELL SHUT UP AND LET ME PISS ON YOU."

Then I heard some giggling from a lot of people who were wandering past my cubicle. Some of them were girls too.

:(
 
S

Sawtooth

Guest
I once called round to see a friend and she wasnt in but her flat mate was. She offered to make me a cup of tea, and whilst she was making it I thought I saw something strange, so instead of thinking it I blurted it out

" God for a moment I thought you only had one arm!"

It was only when she turned around that I noticed, yep, it was missing.

What was odd was that I was so interested in her that the rest of her body kinda slipped me by....

She wasn't embarrased which was cool but I was.
 
D

Damini

Guest
Lol Sawtooth! I cringed for you then.


I can't remember if I've said this one - probably have, but ne'er mind eh?

Working at the Supermarket, I was trying to kill time and this guy looked lost, so being the helpful soul I am I ask;

"Excuse me Sir, do you need any help?"

As he turned around, I realised to my horror it was actually a woman, who just looked rather manly from behind. Turning hugely red, I apologise profusely;

"Oh, I'm so sorry Madam, I need glasses! *nervous laugh* Are you lost?"

To which she responds, in a very butch and manly voice "No, no I don't.".

And I realise its a man after all. I wished for the ground to consume me.


And another one from way back when...

This isn't THE most embarrassing (I run a scale on these things) but it was certainly a bit reddening.


Me and my best mate Charlie had been out on the razzle in Chichester. Charlie is a bit of a man eater, and I suddenly find myself solo in town because she's trotted of with some guy. So I wander down to the cathedral, where we all used to hang out, and see her laid out on a grave having sex! Now, our taxi is coming soon and she's only just met this guy, so, from a discreet distance, I start gently trying to encourage her to round up the act.

"Come on you whore! Put him down! You've only just met him and the TAXIs on its way. Oh my god, you total slag, get your arse in gear!" And then, to drunkenly coin a Mary Whitehouse ism - "You Absoluuuuuuute Prostitute!"




And then suddenly I realise Charlie is stood next to me, wondering who I'm shouting at. And why I'm shouting at them.


No, I don't have a clue who I'm shouting at. No wonder they seemed so pissed off. Kudos to them to keep going though with a pissed up grunge kid shouting at them.
 
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amobea

Guest
i just found out that for 6 months my email address on my website has been wrong
i am retarded
 
D

Damini

Guest
One more - which reminds me why WPKenny is an arse...


This happenned when I first started seeing Kenny. I met up with him at the uni nightclub. I was all kitted out, in a rather nice short tight dress that has a see through lace over dress thing, bad description but still. So, drinking, flirting, back to Kenny's room. In the morning I just throw the same outfit back on, and trot back to my uni room. Out of his college, past the campus shop, past the campus diner, across the road, into my college, up three flights of stairs, back to my room.


When I get back to my room I discover that I've been a bit hungover in putting my dress on, and the only thing covering my g-stringed bum is the thin lace see through part, and the rest of my dress is riding up over my bum. And I phone up Kenny to tell him, and he ALREADY knows. Because his mates had dashed into his uni room to tell him about some bird parading about with her arse on display.
And he laughs until he's practically retching.



That was embarrassing.
 
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Testin da Cable

Guest
aye, and I sold em. had to split 60-40 with Wij tho :(
 
M

Munkey-

Guest
Dunno if this really counts

*le cough*

anyway, in my old high school, before i moved out here to Qatar, there was a Combined Cadet Force (henceforth known as the CCF) and I was in the RAF section.

Anyway, about a month beforehand I had broken my arm in some freak accident concerning being trapped behing a pushed door, shouting "munkey want some bannanas" and each of us (there were three) trying to escape from it. Ended up having the door slammed on my arm ths breaking the bones cleanly in two and requiring the hospital to faff around setting a cast then breaking it again, inserting pins and then putting it in a cast again as they had fucked up the operation.

AAAAAAAAAnnnnnnnnnnyyyyway. Seeing as I had a broken arm I couldnt take part in the football match that we have in the sports hall every week. So i had to go sit up in the balcony part of the sprots hall and watch, anticipating this i had brought along my MP3 player and was listening to it watching the match and shouting out encouragement as seen fit. When all of a sudden this pair of arms grabs me from behind and trys to push me over the edge. In a bit of a blind panic, for my MP3 player falling off and my body, I shout at the top of my voice "GET OFF YOU FUCKER" and twirl around rarring to fight.

and there was my commanding officer. (a 75 year old Wing Commander)

oh my embarresment, he diddn't seem to mind me having punched him or sworn at him. and he procceded to pretend as if nothing had happened.
 
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