Man Jokes (time to get our own back)

Mccload

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jul 11, 2004
Messages
196
:clap:
The time has finally come...
Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !​
:clap:

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle the truth
 

atos

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 3, 2004
Messages
2,527
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.


that rocked :D
 

Bubble

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
5,355
^^

Sort of thing i get in my email at work
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
hehehehe liked the one about the beer gut and bald head, dunno where i saw this probably on a thread but i liked it:
a man stood at the fridge having trouble opening the jam jar his wife comes up and opens it for him, kissing him lightly on the nose she giggles and says "where would you be with out me?" the man scowles and says "still in the garden of eden you bitch!!"
 

Overdriven

Dumpster Fire of The South
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
12,638
Ezteq said:
hehehehe liked the one about the beer gut and bald head, dunno where i saw this probably on a thread but i liked it:
a man stood at the fridge having trouble opening the jam jar his wife comes up and opens it for him, kissing him lightly on the nose she giggles and says "where would you be with out me?" the man scowles and says "still in the garden of eden you bitch!!"


:worthy: lol
 

Aremeriel

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
800
Sorry guys. Can't resist...

Why did God create man first, then woman?
Well. If you make a mistake, you learn from it and do better next time. ;)

Man "Oh God! Why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God "So you would love her"
Man "But why did you make her so stupid?"
God "So she would love you"
 

Blackjack

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
2,540
Aremeriel said:
Sorry guys. Can't resist...

Why did God create man first, then woman?
Well. If you make a mistake, you learn from it and do better next time. ;)

Man "Oh God! Why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God "So you would love her"
Man "But why did you make her so stupid?"
God "So she would love you"

feminist.jpg
 
V

VentMonster

Guest
:clap: lol thats a funny pic i showed some of my class and they laughed so hard
 

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