Losing the nice-guy attitude...

[Bugz]

I have to admit it - i'm a nice guy in person. Perhaps too nice. Everything that is thrown at me, whether it be a friend commenting on my gf's clothes or just random insults from chavs, I take it on the nose.

I want to stop doing this. The problem is, someone will fuck me off, i'll start retailiating, they'll apologize/turn into nice mode, and i'll be a mug and let it slide, pretending nothing ever happened.

Any idea how I brake away from such a habit and become alot more defiant (sp?) and less of a person taking shit from people.

 

[Ryuno]

By controlling your emotions

 

[leviathane]

it's called life experience

 

[Cylian]

loose a lot of weight, buy a black robe with fitting hood and a scythe, then just carry it over your shoulder and use when needed!

 

[cHodAX]

The only way to do it is to be cold with people, say little and don't smile much. It isn't easy though and people will automatically assume you are arrogant but they will usually treat you seriously from then on. I used to suffer from the same problem at work, people would take advantage of my good nature and I kept letting things slide till I got so stressed I snapped and ended up looking like the one who was taking the piss.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Welcome to my hell Bugz...

Nice guy, was that way for years. Took everything, did everything to please people. Anything. The rush you get from people smiling at you for doing something nice, going to parties with your last money...it's a priceless drug.

Girls, give them all. Give them your all. Not in a money way, no, give your soul and get stabbed in the back by getting the boot, or just being f*cked over by her and some bloke she met at a party.

I got my last drop, the last straw to break the back of my preverbial camel when my last gf ditched me because she was too "busy".

So...i realised how the world works, how people f*ck eachother up just because they can. And THIS is how they want to play the game...and you know what? I think i like it, i think i like it alot *grins*

I'll let you know, but just a storm warning for the world, i'm going back to my old ways.

 

[old.Tohtori]

And then comes the real kicker.

I sit down for a while, listen to my favorite tune, have a smoke and realise that this world doesn't need another bad-*ss in it, that nice guys may finish last, but their a rare commodity. I realise that my friends are what makes life worth living and if i do everything i can for them, without it costing myself too much, i'm all set.

Don't worry, being a nice guy is appreciated by few, respected by less, but those few make more then up for it when they say thank you

 

[Yeke]

All about experiance imo, dont stop being the nice guy but know when people are taking the piss and put an end to it imediatly, let them know you wont take shit but if they respect you your a good person to have around.

Its a difficult ballance to get but theres enough hard arse wankers in the world you dont need to add to that count

 

[Dandare]

All about experiance imo, dont stop being the nice guy but know when people are taking the piss and put an end to it imediatly, let them know you wont take shit but if they respect you your a good person to have around.

Its a difficult ballance to get but theres enough hard arse wankers in the world you dont need to add to that count

Very true imo it's all about getting the balance correct.
I have an extremeley bad temper and some people know this and wind me up on purpose, I used to bite back regulary but have chilled in later life.
I take silly comments from people at work with a pinch of salt and have a laugh with them even if the comments are directed at me, my family or girlfriend.....however I can be very stern if I'm not in the mood and let them know and they leave me alone.
I still class myself as a nice guy but with a fiery streak

 

[soze]

I have tried being both the nice guy and a arsehole the nice guy comes more naturally to me but some times enough is enough. You just have to draw your line and don't let people cross it obviously not to the point of twating people for crossing you. But just try to say fuck you you have burned your bridges and your over. Sometimes a dramatic walking away is needed if like me you can be easily talked around. To be a arsehole is alot easier just say fuck you to everyone that isses you off and start shitting on them too. But like i say i make a better nice guy than a arsehole

 

[leviathane]

takes a better man to be a nice guy than a dickhead.

 

[Lamp]

takes a better man to be a nice guy than a dickhead.

:worthy:

Hit the nail on the head m8

What goes around comes around - I'm a firm believer in that. Never used to be until things happened that tied in with that philosophy.

If you shit on people, prepare to get shit on in return. Badly.

If you go out of your way to do things for other people, show respect, politeness, tolerance, discretion, and restraint, you'll get it back in spades.

And remember: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/040116.html

 

[Ezteq]

i always get dumped on and i lay there and take it up the ars..... wrong place to say it kk new metaphore.... um i lay there and.... i stand there and take it and the really really shit part of it is when i get really angry i dont morph in to a werewolf or turn green and develope huge muscles, no what do i do? i flipping cry! and when someone (like at my work atm) goes around saying shitty things about you and stirring it up, rather than being a bastard back i smile and am nice to them... I CANT HELP IT!! i try to be the cool calm ice queen than no one messes with and well, cool calm ice queen> bouncy happy little hampster tbh.

a couple of things that will help and you really cant do it on your own because you'll feel like a right tit is go to asertiveness training (assertive is not the same as agressive, you can be assertive as hell and still be nice) and another is try martial arts (however dont go breaking your hand in the first few weeks lol) because you feel really dumb mooching about in white jammies shouting and hitting thin air but it does boost your confidence.

like people say though, being nice is great but being a schmuck (and i know lol) sucks but dont get depressed about it atm my philosophy is "i allow people to treat me this way so theyre going to take the piss but at the end of the day do i care? not really" i will get stronger i just need to get round to finding the way to do it that suits me.

 

[Amildin]

be nice, if they cross a certain point and start taking advantage. Give that shit back, hard. If it involves twatting them, so be it

 

[scarloc]

Being seen as the nice guy has its advantages. I tried being nasty for a while but I wasn't any good at it and just ended up looking like a bully or something.

Anyway, on topic. Be the nice guy! You'll find a way to survive, bad guys tend to get karma'd sooner or later anyway.

 

[leviathane]

tbh if your happy then who gives a fck.

 

[Ezteq]

rofl anyone else watch "My name is Earl" ? karma will find you!!!!!

 

[tris-]

if you are naturally a nice guy its hard to be a nob.

ive tryed it many times. but im so uber pro nice its really hard not to be.

you can be blunt AND nice which is the method i have employed.

 

[leviathane]

rofl anyone else watch "My name is Earl" ? karma will find you!!!!!

it is quite true tbh, wasn't rly into all tht shit but certain stuff happens and make you think.

 

[Elkie]

This is comming from me any bitch that has an attitude or aint acting like a nice guy to others will sooner or later get the crap beaton out of them.

Stay the nice guy and it will be benafitial, and if people push you around just tell them to fuck off if they swing at you just lay into them.

 

[lilmissnaughty]

wont help u out much matey but i find that as a woman, through monthly practice, i have mastered the art of the mood swing.
i can now go from nice to bitch in approximately 0.6 seconds

shame their aint a pill to give u blokes pmt then u would get the joy of being a cantankerous old git once every month

 

[Fana]

The world needs more nice guys, for the sake of all that is holy dont try to make yourself into an ass!

Just be firm and frank, but retain your nice manners etc. The world will be a better place for it. Too many selfish, narcisistic arseholes out there already.

 

[pikeh]

just chillax a bit, learn to take life as it comes. dont let one person get you down, and if they do, tell them!
everyone has the right to get pissed off occasionally, if you find its happening all too often, just back off a little, speak firmly, dont be confrontational but make it clear that you are pissed. still retain the nice guy quality, dont raise your voice, describe in a objective way what they did to piss you off. At the end of the day, treat everyone how you want to be treated. Dish out some friendly banter, dont get personal, and if you happen to step that one step too far, say sorry and buy them a drink or smt, dont mention the subject again.

If these people are your friends, i reckon they dont mean anything they say.

If people cant respect your nice guy attitude, they arent worth knowing. I think you will find this more and more apparent as you progress in years.



/edit dont listen to anything chavs say.

 

[Cemeterygates]

i tend to find a good method for people bein a twat to ya...look em straight in the face...an just laugh AT them....an make them look stupid...."mum an dad not pay enough attention as a child so you have to be shitty to make u feel good??"...seems to of worked for me.
an if its a chav might wanna add "oh shit...u prob dont know ya dad do ya"...lol...just to piss em off

 

[old.Tohtori]

shame their aint a pill to give u blokes pmt

Yeah there is, it's called a wife.


Only thing is, it works daily.

 

[Yeke]

Yeah there is, it's called a wife.


Only thing is, it works daily.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to old.Tohtori again

 

[Sharma]

rofl anyone else watch "My name is Earl" ? karma will find you!!!!!

Wouldn't knock the idea tbh, had a lot of shining examples which have convinced me lately that it does exist. Been quite a lucky bloke lately since I stopped being a complete **** to people. But I never piss someone off with intent now because I know i'll just be getting it back two fold later on, hence why I don't bear grudges since if someone does something to me that causes discomfort etc, I know they're gonna get screw over by it.

What goes around, does indeed come around.

 

[xxManiacxx]

been "the nice guy" for years and lost count on how many times I have gotten f**ked over by co-workers,friends and girlfriends because of it.

F*ck them and dump them is the way to go apparently

 

[Gamah]

if it helps I think you're a ****.

 

[Infanity]

Bugz not being funny mate, But your 15-16 ish right ?

So why not just take things as they come and start giving a shit when it really matters ^^

just seems weird at your age your taking it so serious.