just if you have a little time (JOKE)

Mccload

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jul 11, 2004
Messages
196
A twenty-one-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says,
"Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!”
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair, impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit, steps out of the car and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them,
"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge. If a girl is born, I will bequeath her two retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a £1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a £2,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a factory and £1,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "Then you try again."
 

Alan

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Messages
3,972
roflmao.


Ok a little girl is out playing out int he back garden, she accidently trips over and pricks her hand on a rose bush, running into the house, screaming "ouch mummy", the caring mother says "Wait there hunny, ill go get a plaster" to which the little girl replys "no.. no... get some of dads cider." Confused over this the mother asks why the alchohol would be better ? the little girl pipes up "sis says when she gets a prick in her hands, to put it in cider."


Guess you have to think aloud for that to make sense ?
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
lol good ones guys, not sure if this is appropriate but what the hay!
Q) how do you circumcise a red-neck?
A) kick his sister in the jaw!
 

Maxgirth

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Aug 9, 2004
Messages
203
Man comes home from work, his wife tells him she has just picked up the fancy dress costumes for tonights party.
"What are you going as?" he asks, after spotting his outfit, " a secret" she replies.
However, after her man gets himself ready, sporting his spiderman outfit, the woman gets a terrible migraine,so as not to spoil the night she tells hubby to go, and she will go to bed.
After a brief sleep, she feels a lot better, and decides to join her man, at the party.
Being a cunning little devil, she dons her gear, and sets forth, thinking to herself, i`ll see what he gets upto when i`m not around.
On arrival at the party, she notices spiderman getting very friendly with 2 scantily clad frenchmaids, she muscles her way to him,putting on a very sexy act, the other girls go, and without saying a word, gets her man, takes him outside into hubbys car, then has the best sex she`s ever had, then leaves.
Words could not express her anger as she arrives home, goes to bed, then awaits his return.
After 2 hours waiting, the door opens, in he comes, " have a good night darling" she says, " not really hunny,I was missing you so much, I decided to sit down, with Trevor, Paul, simon and Steve and play cards".
After hearing this she was just about to blow a fuse when hubby said " but I lent my outfit, and car keys to my dad, and he said,he had the time of his life".
 

leviathane

Part of the furniture
Joined
Dec 26, 2003
Messages
7,704
Maxgirth said:
Man comes home from work, his wife tells him she has just picked up the fancy dress costumes for tonights party.
"What are you going as?" he asks, after spotting his outfit, " a secret" she replies.
However, after her man gets himself ready, sporting his spiderman outfit, the woman gets a terrible migraine,so as not to spoil the night she tells hubby to go, and she will go to bed.
After a brief sleep, she feels a lot better, and decides to join her man, at the party.
Being a cunning little devil, she dons her gear, and sets forth, thinking to herself, i`ll see what he gets upto when i`m not around.
On arrival at the party, she notices spiderman getting very friendly with 2 scantily clad frenchmaids, she muscles her way to him,putting on a very sexy act, the other girls go, and without saying a word, gets her man, takes him outside into hubbys car, then has the best sex she`s ever had, then leaves.
Words could not express her anger as she arrives home, goes to bed, then awaits his return.
After 2 hours waiting, the door opens, in he comes, " have a good night darling" she says, " not really hunny,I was missing you so much, I decided to sit down, with Trevor, Paul, simon and Steve and play cards".
After hearing this she was just about to blow a fuse when hubby said " but I lent my outfit, and car keys to my dad, and he said,he had the time of his life".
hahaha lol pwned :clap: sure the dad wasnt you max? :fluffle:
 

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