Jokes - With a DAOC spin

[old.The McScrooges]

One day a Healer goes to see Kemor about his inability to solo a yellow.

"Kemor I'm unable to solo a yellow. Is there anything you can do?"

Kemor ponders this and suggests

"Next time you go hunting take a Shadowblade with you and have the Shadowblade wave a towel over you whilst you're fighting the Mob."

So the Healer and Shadowblade go hunting together. The Healer finding a mob leaps to it and begins to attack with his Shadowblade friend wave a towel over him. After a stun, an insta and another stun the healer dies.

After releasing and running back to his friend, the Shadowblade suggests the swap places. So the Healer starts to wave the towel furiously over the Shadowblade as he begins his attack. A 3 strike combo later the Mob is dead and turns to face his Healer friend who says....

"Now that's how you wave a towel!"

 

[SilverHood]

The Queen's Chastity Belt!


King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the great wizard was showing
him his latest creation. It was a chastity belt, except it had a rather
large hole in the most obvious place which made it basically useless.


"This is no good, Merlin!" the King exclaimed, "Look at this opening. How is
this supposed to protect my lady, the Queen, when I'm on a long quest?"


"Ah, sire, just observe," said Merlin. He then selected his most worn out
wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He inserted it in the gaping
aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down
and cut it neatly in two.


"Merlin, you are a genius!" said the grateful monarch. "Now I can leave,
knowing that my Queen is fully protected."


After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon a
lengthy Quest.


Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled
all of his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an
informal 'short arm' inspection.


Sure enough, each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in
some way. All of them, except Sir Galahad.


"Sir Galahad," exclaimed King Arthur. "You are my one and only true knight!
Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power
to grant you? Name it and it is yours."


But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless.

 

[old.The McScrooges]

You can't post a joke that has already been post to boost your spam count.

That's cheating.

 

[SilverHood]

I was the one who posted it donkey years ago when this forum was i its infancy

 

[old.The McScrooges]

3 Albs in a bar, a wizard, a paladin and a friar, all having a beer when a fly lands in each of their pints.

The wizard sighs and pushes his pint away and orders another one.

The paladin excitedly fishes out the fly and rezzes it before carrying on drinking.

The friar delicately fishes out the fly and gently raises it up to eye level before saying.....

"Spit it out yer bastard!"

 

[old.The McScrooges]

Originally posted by SilverHood
I was the one who posted it donkey years ago when this forum was i its infancy

See more point exactly. Posting the same joke twice is cheating and is against the code of honour of a knight of Spamalot.

Though I have got two more posts out of this, maybe soon, one day I can be a real forumite...

 

[SilverHood]

A Briton asked a Norseman to show him the biggest building in an Jordheim town.

"There it is now" said the Norseman, "isn't it a fine structure entirely?"

"Is that your biggest building?" asked the Briton.

"Why back in Camelot we have buildings over a hundred times the size of that!"

"I'm not surprised," said the Norseman,"that's the local lunatic asylum."

 

[old.The McScrooges]

2 Albs in a bar, one is imparting his knowledge onto a fellow adventurer.

"Yeah, so if you throw an onion at the Mob it can't hit and you kill it for easy Xp."

The n00b is unconvinced and asks for a demonstration.

So his drinking partner steps outside and throws an onion at a mob and proceeds to batter it being untouched by the mob.

So out steps the n00b and lobs his onion at the mob and gets butchered.

The barman looks up and says.

"You know Mattshanes, you're a fcuker when you're drunk."

ps - This is in noway a personnal attack on Mattshanes but he was the only 'known' PBT theurge I could think of.

 

[Galatea]

What do you call 1000 Mids at the bottom of Yggdra lake?

A good start

 

[Nala Lionne]

Originally posted by Galatea
What do you call 1000 Mids at the bottom of Yggdra lake?

A good start

Ewul

 

[old.The McScrooges]

Whats the difference between a truck load of Albs and a truck load of Middies?

You can't unload the Albs with a pitchfork.

(the thrust resist on plate just doesn't make it worth while....)

 

[Galatea]

Why did the Luri cross the road?

To get close enough to pbae


(How poor is that )

 

[old.tRoG]

there is a group of 7 hunting hard in the realm of albion.

'whew!' says the armsman, that was a close one!
'i know,' says the cleric, i was oom
'why dont we get another?' asks the minstrel
'like what?' questions the theurgist
'a cabalist?' ponders the paladin



yes, thats the best i could think of - and SilverHood you are a CHEATOOOR!

 

[SFXman]

Originally posted by old.The McScrooges
3 Albs in a bar, a wizard, a paladin and a friar, all having a beer when a fly lands in each of their pints.

The wizard sighs and pushes his pint away and orders another one.

The paladin excitedly fishes out the fly and rezzes it before carrying on drinking.

The friar delicately fishes out the fly and gently raises it up to eye level before saying.....

"Spit it out yer bastard!"

Best by far
Heard it before but it is just superb.