joke

popa

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Apr 26, 2004
Messages
672
read and add more

In the beginning there was the computer. And God said
%Let there be light!
#Enter user id.
%God
#Enter password.
%Omniscient
#Password incorrect. Try again.
%Omnipotent
#Password incorrect. Try again.
%Technocrat
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
%Let there be light!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
%Create light
#Done
%Run heaven and earth
#And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were
0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
#Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
%Let there be firmament in the midst of water and
light
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
%Create firmament
#Done.
%Run firmament
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0
errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
#Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
%Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto
one place and let
the dry land appear and
#Too many characters in specification string. Try
again.
%Create dry_land
#Done.
%Run firmament
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0
errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
#Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

%Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from
the night
#Unspecified type. Try again.
%Create sun_moon_stars
#Done
%Run sun_moon_stars
#And God created the heavens. And God saw there were 0
errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March
4.
#Approx. funds remaining: $54.00.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
%Create fish
#Done
%Create fowl
#Done
%Run fish, fowl
#And God created the great sea monsters and every
living creature that
creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind
and every winged
fowl
after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

#Approx. funds remaining: $45.00.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
%Create cattle
#Done
%Create creepy_things
#Done
%Now let us make man in our image
#Unspecified type. Try again.
%Create man
#Done
%Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and
subdue it and have
dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of
the air and over
every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
#Too many command operands. Try again.
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 6 errors.
%Insert breath
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 5 errors.
%Move man to Garden of Eden
#File Garden of Eden does not exist.
%Create Garden.edn
#Done
%Move man to Garden.edn
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 4 errors..
%Copy woman from man
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 3 errors.
%Insert woman into man
#Illegal parameters. Try again.
%Insert man into woman
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 2 errors.
%Create desire
#Done
%Run multiplication
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and
multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Create freewill
#Done
%Run freewill
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and
multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Undo desire
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
%Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be
destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Help
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be
destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Create tree_of_knowledge
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and
multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Create good, evil
#Done
%Activate evil
#And God saw he had created shame.
#Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not
in Garden.edn.
#1 errors.
%Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
#Search failed.
%Delete shame
#Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.

%Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be
destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Stop
#Unrecognizable command. Try again
%Break
%Break
%Break
#ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER
GOING DOWN FOR
REGULAR DAY OF
MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
%Create new world
#You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must
destroy old files
before new ones can be created.
%Destroy earth
#Destroy earth: Please confirm.
%Destroy earth confirmed
#COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME
SUNDAY, MARCH 8
AT 6:00 AM.
YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
#And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
#Approx. funds remaining: $0.00
:worthy:
 

popa

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Apr 26, 2004
Messages
672
Windoze errors

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recently, the following undocumented Windows 95 error-codes were found. Microsoft forgot to explain them in the manuals, so they will be spread via the Internet. If you encouter any one unlisted here, then let us know ...
WinErr: 001 Windows loaded - System in danger

WinErr: 002 No Error - Yet

WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file

WinErr: 004 Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong

WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted - System confused

WinErr: 006 Malicious error - Desqview found on drive

WinErr: 007 System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware

WinErr: 008 Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments

WinErr: 009 Horrible bug encountered - God knows what has happened

WinErr: 00A Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full

WinErr: 00B Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB

WinErr: 00C Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! More!

WinErr: 00D Window closed - Do not look outside

WinErr: 00E Window open - Do not look inside

WinErr: 00F Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened

WinErr: 010 Reserved for future mistakes by our developers

WinErr: 011 Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.

WinErr: 012 Door locked. Try Ctrl-Alt-Del

WinErr: 013 Unexpected error - Huh ?

WinErr: 014 Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of.

WinErr: 015 Windows loading. Come back tomorrow.

WinErr: 016 Window locked. Try Ctrl-Alt-Del. Then Reset

WinErr: 017 Nonexisting error. This cannot be happening.

WinErr: 018 Unrecoverable error - System has been destroyed. Buy a new one. Old Windows licence is not valid anymore.

WinErr: 019 User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!

WinErr: 01A Operating system overwritten - Please reinstall all your software. We are terribly sorry.

WinErr: 01B Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will get a penalty for that.

WinErr: 01C Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate.

WinErr: 01D System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code.

WinErr: 01E Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.

WinErr: 020 Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost.

WinErr: 042 Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again.

WinErr: 079 Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue.

WinErr: 103 Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded.

WinErr: 152 Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance

WinErr: 294 BlackMail Error - $500 to Gates or your computer gets screwed

WinErr: 294b BlackMail Error - $500 to Gates or I'll show your wife the JPG's you just downloaded

WinErr: 394 Memory Error: You have been attempting to run this on a Pentium 200 with 128 MB of RAM.

WinErr: 39C Disk Error in drive a: - Although your disk is in perfect condition (I just formatted it), I don't like it any more

WinErr: 625 Working Error - The system has been working perfectly for the past ten minutes

WinErr: 678 This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

WinErr: 683 Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure.

WinErr: 72A Crucial Halt - Hang on, WHAT was that?

WinErr: 72B Memory Error - What? Tell me again.

WinErr: 815 Insufficient Memory: Only 50.312.538 Bytes available.

WinErr: 872 Windows can't be bothered doing that.

WniErr: 902 Screen Error - The system is working perfectly, I'm not lying, your monitor is wrong

WinErr: 983 Hard Disk Error - The files on the hard disk were neatly arranged and fully optimised, so I had to mess them up and put a couple of hundred .TMP files all over the place
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
hehehe /played :time played 7 days:

%Insert woman into man
#Illegal parameters. Try again.
%Insert man into woman
#Done

this bit gave me a good old giggle
 

Einherjar

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Sep 15, 2005
Messages
10
Ezteq said:
hehehe /played :time played 7 days:

%Insert woman into man
#Illegal parameters. Try again.
%Insert man into woman
#Done

this bit gave me a good old giggle

lmao, also found it funny xd
 

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