Joe the Bastard - Old fashioned rhymetime.

[old.Tohtori]

So, here's how it goes:

Everyone tells a lil rhyme, poem, cartman sings about kyle's mom, who's line is it anyway, hoedown style thingy about...Joe. We will soon learn just how big an a-hole he is. Free form, just make it easy read rhyme fun

I'll make a start for it so people can continue with their own.

Disclaimer: This is in no form or way towards any real people called Joe, Joseph or even Josephine.

*takes out guitar*

*SPROIIIINGGGG!!!*

Weeeeell....
i met this guy back in new orleans,
way back when in my early teens.
His name was Joe, and i don't know,
he looked as cool as his worn out jeans.

*sproingyti thingy with the guitar*

Well i soon found out that this here guy,
was a little bit dodgy and a little bit sly.
He took my gun, he stole my car,
and he rode that dodge out to prai·rie.

 

[Ezteq]

*plays banjo*

Joe was deadly,
Joe was mean
Joe put kitties in the warshin' machine

He ate kids for breakfast
Nuns for lunch
And for his supper he 'et the Braidy Bunch!


*banjo*
dee deedle dee dee dee dee deee

 

[fl3a]

well i met ol' joe out in the wild
a-chillin in a charger, nineteen sixty nine
he was smoking a cuban and drinking a brew
i stepped up and said 'how do you do'
he looked at me and showed a smirk
said 'what you doin here you lil squirt'
now im not a fighter and i hate to be beat
so i just told him i needed to eat
he offered me beef jerkey from a jar
i swear didnt know hed stole it from a bar!
mighty fine the beef was we ate
and so i asked my new-found mate
'can i stay the night in this here car,
ive a long way to go and ive come from afar'
he invited me in and we slipped to sleep
and in my dreams i was counting sheep
soon i woke up and to my surprise
joe had me stripped down to my thighs
he wanted to cut off my lil' member
hed wanted to eat its meat, so tender
i kicked him in the face
and out i ran
it was a disgrace
this wild wild man
i still remember, when he rode away
he yelled from the car 'ill see you, josé'

 

[Cerb]

well i got away, and thought that was that
how wrong was i, joes a wily cat
i met him again, two weeks to the day
out in jackson county, makin hay
he looked at me, an his smile was coy
said you owe me, your weiner boy!

well i knew right then, it was time to act
said you,ll get nothin, thats a fact

joe reached for his gun, like a bolt of lightnin
needles to say, the action was frightnin
but i was prepared, didnt buge an inch
gave a punch to his jaw, like a hit from a wrench.
well joe hit the ground, like a bigole sack of meat
so i stood above him laughin, as he lay there at my feet
i then produced my pistol, now i was lookin coy
i winked at him and laughed askin "now joe whos the boy?"

fun idea

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well looks like joe's in quite a pickle...let's see what happened next...

*SPROOOOOOINGgggggg!*

Weeeeeeeeeell...

Joe hit the ground and his eyes went "What?!",
Cerb was grinnin' like a porcelain cup.
Joe took a while, gave a smile,
and lifted his hand to help him up.

Cerb helped Joe up from the grass so thin,
Joe clapped his hands, and said with a grin.
"You beat me well, you beat me square.
Lemme buy ya a drink 'till the bell goes ding."

Well whad'daya know as the night passed on.
Joe seemed so nice while he sang a song.
He bought first round, and round two too.
He bought those drinks the whole night long.

But as morning came, Cerb woke in a bed.
With his hands cuffed up, feeling rather dead.
There was no Joe, but a hairy ho-mo,
was petting our Cerb on his pretty head.

See Joe was no stranger to knocking about,
he was harder to catch then a slippery trout.
He bought those scotchs, he self drank tea.
When Cerb got it -in-, Joe was allready out.