O
old.Paul B
Guest
Immediate Employment
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side
Consulting Group.
An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting
Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this
position would like galactic travel and possess a complete
understanding of, and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a
willingness to learn.
Duties include: Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on
intervention in support of the Sith Master's planning initiatives,
ability to travel the galaxy widely, and operating a variety of
laser-powered hand weapons and high-powered space/air vehicles. Some
slaying of enemies of the Dark Side is also required, which may be
performed using the Force or hand weapons.
Qualified applicants would possess good communications skills
(especially when speaking in menacing whispers), and would be
action-oriented individuals and risk takers. A background in study
of the Force (light side or dark) is desirable, as would typically be
acquired by those with advanced degrees or significant course work in
Jedi Arts from the University of Coruscant.
Applicants should also be familiar with holographic projection
equipment, possess a valid galactic pilot's license (for all classes
of ships), and must show a willingness to give in to their hate. A
proven track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind tricks to control
others is also desirable, as is the ability to speak several galactic
languages. Ideal candidates for this position would also have no
children or other living relatives who are strong in the ways of the
Force. (A new hire would be given several weeks to meet this
requirement.)
Compensation for this position is commensurate with experience, and
is extremely competitive for this field. Benefits include a generous
severance package, a company starship, and a dark-colored clothing
allowance. The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works closely with
the Sith Master, and experience in such small, team-based
organizations is vital to the success of the master's plans.
Discretion is also highly valued, as is the ability to see the future
before it happens. Applications will be accepted until the end of
July. Transmit them to jobs@darkside.com.
*****************************************************
Dark Side CG (TM) is a small and highly-focused organization, founded
a long time ago in a galaxy far away. Our core values reflect the
short-term advantages of harnessing hatred for institutional power and
the long-term desirability of controlling the galaxy. We provide
direction to our partner organizations through knowledge management,
incident control and our rapid on-site intervention expertise. Our
partnered organizations include the Imperial Senate, the Hutt Gambling
Collective of Tattooine, and many large software companies.
Dark Side CG (TM) is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft.
------------------
Paul B
paul@pbrowning.freeserve.co.uk
"The wages of sin are death... but the hours are good and the perks are fantastic"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side
Consulting Group.
An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting
Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this
position would like galactic travel and possess a complete
understanding of, and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a
willingness to learn.
Duties include: Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on
intervention in support of the Sith Master's planning initiatives,
ability to travel the galaxy widely, and operating a variety of
laser-powered hand weapons and high-powered space/air vehicles. Some
slaying of enemies of the Dark Side is also required, which may be
performed using the Force or hand weapons.
Qualified applicants would possess good communications skills
(especially when speaking in menacing whispers), and would be
action-oriented individuals and risk takers. A background in study
of the Force (light side or dark) is desirable, as would typically be
acquired by those with advanced degrees or significant course work in
Jedi Arts from the University of Coruscant.
Applicants should also be familiar with holographic projection
equipment, possess a valid galactic pilot's license (for all classes
of ships), and must show a willingness to give in to their hate. A
proven track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind tricks to control
others is also desirable, as is the ability to speak several galactic
languages. Ideal candidates for this position would also have no
children or other living relatives who are strong in the ways of the
Force. (A new hire would be given several weeks to meet this
requirement.)
Compensation for this position is commensurate with experience, and
is extremely competitive for this field. Benefits include a generous
severance package, a company starship, and a dark-colored clothing
allowance. The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works closely with
the Sith Master, and experience in such small, team-based
organizations is vital to the success of the master's plans.
Discretion is also highly valued, as is the ability to see the future
before it happens. Applications will be accepted until the end of
July. Transmit them to jobs@darkside.com.
*****************************************************
Dark Side CG (TM) is a small and highly-focused organization, founded
a long time ago in a galaxy far away. Our core values reflect the
short-term advantages of harnessing hatred for institutional power and
the long-term desirability of controlling the galaxy. We provide
direction to our partner organizations through knowledge management,
incident control and our rapid on-site intervention expertise. Our
partnered organizations include the Imperial Senate, the Hutt Gambling
Collective of Tattooine, and many large software companies.
Dark Side CG (TM) is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft.
------------------
Paul B
paul@pbrowning.freeserve.co.uk
"The wages of sin are death... but the hours are good and the perks are fantastic"
