Is being nice a good idea?

[Bugz]

I'm a nice chap. I help people out - I defend people - I'll look out for them and so on.

But lately, i've found that those i've been helping/defending the most have been shoving a long cold finger up my arse (metaphorically).

So thus arises the question - is being nice really a good trade off? I could live my life a lot easier by being a secluded little shit and so on. Emotions and responsibility rarely seem to be reciprocated for me. Am I the only one in this situation?

 

[cHodAX]

You are not the only one and being a nice bloke is a good thing, something you can be very proud of in years to come. You just have to take the good with the bad, that is the way life goes.

 

[old.Tohtori]

If you're nice, you get used. It's a fact. There are always people who will take advantage(even if unknowingly) of your kindness.

I'm a nice guy, but i've also learned not to let people use it.

I dish out favors like they are candy, but also know how to bite if i'm used. And also learned to realise the difference in asking for a favor and using someone.

On the other side, i'm dead straightforward. I don't sugarcoat, i don't watch what i speak(to an extent) and i always speak my mind. This also, is a twosided thing as some people think you're a bastard for doing so.

In the long run, it's still better to be nice, since then, you can always be the good guy if situations arise. In other words, being nice covers your arse

 

[Rookiescot]

My advice .... always give people the benifit of the doubt until its proved otherwise.

Try and go through life being a decent guy.

But if someone takes advantage of you or is just plain nasty then retaliate with extreme predujice.

Hell I'm 40 years old now and its worked for me

 

[liloe]

Being nice is definately the way to go =)) What Mistur Seel said is correc though, know how to avoid being used by people.

 

[megadave]

nice guys finish last

however at the end of the day people are going to like and respect you more even if you don't always realise it.

 

[tris-]

the way tohtori has described him self is exactly the way i am too.

its just a learning process imo. and with the knowledge, comes great power (excuse the corny line). but its true for me at least.

acting the way described above leaves you with people who are worth knowing.
he is right that speaking your mind is some times frowned upon, i simply dont care. the people who realise the good side to that are the ones that stick about. if you wanna know if you look nice in your clothes but you actually look shit, dont ask me if you dont like the truth

if you are nice for the sake of being nice, youre gonna get into some problems.

be nice to the people that deserve it, dont bother with the rest.

im rather frightened tohtori just described exactly who i am, but was talking about him self

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

Don't let other people's low standards stop you from living up to ideals you have set for yourself.

That doesn't mean being a doormat. Its easy to be an asshole. Its harder to be smart about sticking to principles without being abused in some way. Ultimately more rewarding and its good karma.

 

[CorNokZ]

nice guys finish last

Omg! Green Day emo bitch!

 

[crispy]

Well you arent being nice if you expect something in return

 

[old.Tohtori]

im rather frightened tohtori just described exactly who i am, but was talking about him self

You see, we are not that different you and i...in fact...

Spoiler

We're more alike then you think!

How's that for drama.

 

[echome]

Being nice is soooo last year!




But tbh I don't think it matters if you are nice or evil. The world needs both or else you wouldn't be able to be "nice"...

 

[Gamah]

No,

I am a misrable bastard who hates people in general. However, that being said I have been known to show kindness towards others!

However, this is a rare and spectacular event.

Kindness towards loved ones and friends is one thing, kindness to strangers is another.

 

[yaruar]

I'm a nice chap. I help people out - I defend people - I'll look out for them and so on.

But lately, i've found that those i've been helping/defending the most have been shoving a long cold finger up my arse (metaphorically).

So thus arises the question - is being nice really a good trade off? I could live my life a lot easier by being a secluded little shit and so on. Emotions and responsibility rarely seem to be reciprocated for me. Am I the only one in this situation?

The quick answer is Yes, being nice is a good idea. Both on a moralistic level and a human interaction level. Pshcy studies have shown that people who are altruistic see a net gain in the long term.

 

[Mey]

I'm like tris/seel, nice but honest.

 

[Lamp]

You should read this book.

The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living: Books: Dalai Lama

 

[cHodAX]

No,

I am a misrable bastard who hates people in general. However, that being said I have been known to show kindness towards others!

However, this is a rare and spectacular event.

Kindness towards loved ones and friends is one thing, kindness to strangers is another.

I don't believe that, the Gamah I knew from Lords of England on Prydwen was a pussycat!

 

[Wonk]

I don't believe that, the Gamah I knew from Lords of England on Prydwen was a pussycat!

you're way behind. He's a naughty badboy nowadays

 

[Ezteq]

pfft being nice stinks!!
im nice and i bloody hate it, i wish i could be one of those ice cold bitches who nobody messes with and can drop someone with a cold hard glare or cutting remark.

sadly im nice *shudder* and when someone is mean to me i usually take it personally and instead of issuing said cold hard drop dead glare i try and make things better or go off and cry...

when someone abuses me irl in an "Im only joking way... but i actually really mean it and am using humour to glaze over the venom in my remark" kind of way i usually make a joke and end up making them laugh... it sucks!! i wish i could spark someone out who has just hurt me but it seems that unless i am actually physically attacked i am incapable of self defence.

however, after saying all that i really dont think i would be very happy with myself if i was the kind of person who was rude (and not in the good way), mean and spiteful. If i was the sort of person who had no compassion/empathy i wouldnt be me and i like me so balls to it yes being nice is good even though you are kind of like the underside of a turtle (soft and squidgy).

there is a major difference between being nice and being a used wimp with no spine tbh and i did used to let people walk over me but that all stopped a couple of years ago when i eliminated the main offenders so now im nice and dont let people trample me but i am very very cautious and im not sure thats such a good thing but for me it works.


Bugzy just find what works for you and what type of behaviour makes you feel most comfortable because if you try and be/act in a way thats not true to yourself you wont be a happy puppy.

 

[Lamp]

Being nice doesn't stink if you wash behind your ears

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

People who are nasty/bitches/bastards are generally very damaged. Its not good to be them really.

 

[Ezteq]

it isnt good, but it just seems cooler tbh.

 

[Lamp]

People who are nasty/bitches/bastards are generally very damaged. Its not good to be them really.

True

Characteristically, unpleasant / spiteful / two-faced / violent / irresponsible (etc, etc) people have been clinically shown to harbour very low self esteem levels, massive self-insecurities, paranoia, depression, and are basically very frightened individuals.

 

[Lamp]

it isnt good, but it just seems cooler tbh.

Whats so cool about being a jerk ?

I think its "cooler" to be a good person and not let other people's comments affect you.

I see so many idiots walking down the street giving it large and acting like tossers. Who are they trying to be ? Who they trying to impress giving it attitude all the time ? It reallt isn't a sign of weakness to be nice. Its hard. You need to take the knocks and not give it back. Not many people can or will do that.

But you might as well talk to the toilet for all its worth. Its not that people won't or can't change for the better. They're affraid to try becuase they might become a different person and really like it.

All anyone of us can do is do what we think is right and make the best of the time given to us.

 

[Ezteq]

lol not being a jerk but being someone who has an icy untouchable demeanor would be cool you know like jules from pulp fiction, you dont see him all teary eyed and looking for ways to remedy the situation in the way least likely to create confrontation do you, noooo he all like "whatthefuck bitch BE COOL MOTHERFUCKER!!!"

and that definately isnt nice is it but it sure is cool hehehe

 

[Lamp]

If we're talking cool, Billy Connolly > Sam Jackson.
Irreverent, funny, "cool", has all the one liners, but LIVES IN THE REAL WORLD.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I love a cold hard b*tch, but that's a different kind of a b*tch then that who's just a stuck up, i'm better then rest kinda girl

 

[evzy]

I treat others how I would like to be treated myself.

I show respect to those who earn it and not those who expect it.

I kill the rest as they are worthless.

 

[Darksword]

being nice is good but that doesnt mean you should do what is good. fuck the world and rip it a new one if you want.

 

[Huntingtons]

If we're talking cool, Billy Connolly > Sam Jackson.
Irreverent, funny, "cool", has all the one liners, but LIVES IN THE REAL WORLD.

the last argument is shit... doesnt matter if he lived in fucking wonderland he's still the coolest motherfucker ever to grace me