Interfering

[Tom]

Just a very general question here, but how many of you have found that Women (ie not your woman) have a detrimental effect on your friendships?

I may one day lose an old friend because his girlfriend is constantly sticking her oar into our business, and upsetting the status quo (a status quo that we're both happy with).

 

[Jonaldo]

It's the biggest sacrifice that so many people have to make in their lives. Often you'll find that two people you like and respect (for differing reasons generally) don't get along quite so well, and you have to decide who to hang out with at different times. When one relationship becomes serious and you spend a lot more time with them then the other will be left out.

Oh.. I mean yes often friends partners feel they should make themselves heard. I just assume it's them feeling left out or something. You either have to put up with them or see your friends less often

 

[Nibbler]

....or kill the girlfriend...

 

[]AC[dRuM]

....or kill the girlfriend...

Its a sad fact of life as soon as you get more involved with a partner you do have less time for your friends, even more so when you bang out a few sprogs and take the family route

This is one only you can answer my man, is it worth not seeing a really good friend for a life time of bliss with your partner? The 6 million dollar question..

Can they both be reasoned with? Can you reach a compromise?

Best of luck dude.....

 

[mr.Blacky]

Well it depends if you can get your girlfriend to be friends with your friends, a bad thing about it would be that you can't escape from your girlfriend.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

I normally find it the other way round: women aren't too bad for your male mates, but men for your female mates? You'll be fucking lucky if you see your female mates again, I've lost at least 2 really close friends thanks to their 'wonderful' boyfriends.

 

[TdC]

Just a very general question here, but how many of you have found that Women (ie not your woman) have a detrimental effect on your friendships?

I find that women in general are constantly striving to outdo other women who aren't particularly high on their A-list of mates (and some who are). I find that they take perverse pleasure in besting their not-quite-friends in tiny ways that many times would never ever register on me because I just don't have the mindset.

hey Tina, nice dress! is it a size 38? really? ooh, I'm a size 36 myself, I could never wear it. nice prints though!

If it would so happen that my gf and my best mate's gf were like that we would be in deep shit I imagine. Girls radiate stress when they're in a situation they aren't particularly keen on, and they will cause grief while pretending (or genuinely not understanding) that all you want is a quiet pint with your mate (male or female).
My gf seems not to be able to understand that I find a quiet night with some mates lounging about my house with a few beers and talking about nothing at all supremely relaxing. "Pointless!!" she cries, "What do you talk about?". "Nothing!" I say, "We just sit about and have a few laughs.". "Pointless!!" she cries.

sorry if I went off on a tangent there

 

[Wij]

I find that women in general are constantly striving to outdo other women who aren't particularly high on their A-list of mates (and some who are). I find that they take perverse pleasure in besting their not-quite-friends in tiny ways that many times would never ever register on me because I just don't have the mindset.

If it would so happen that my gf and my best mate's gf were like that we would be in deep shit I imagine. Girls radiate stress when they're in a situation they aren't particularly keen on, and they will cause grief while pretending (or genuinely not understanding) that all you want is a quiet pint with your mate (male or female).
My gf seems not to be able to understand that I find a quiet night with some mates lounging about my house with a few beers and talking about nothing at all supremely relaxing. "Pointless!!" she cries, "What do you talk about?". "Nothing!" I say, "We just sit about and have a few laughs.". "Pointless!!" she cries.

sorry if I went off on a tangent there

I quite understand

 

[Wazzerphuk]

And hey, if you want to see your mates, it's not because they're your mates: it's because you don't want to see her.

I love that self importance, it's so endearing.

 

[Tom]

Its not that kind of situation. I've worked with this guy for years now, and we have hardly ever argued. We get on very well, and hes a very good friend. We've just parted company business-wise, and his GF is going to be doing his bookkeeping, invoicing, and taking his calls while hes working.

Now lately they have been asking my advice on how to do invoices and such (I've always done that), and I've tried to help them out, but they've bought some accounting package that I have absolutely no idea how to run. She has also been pestering me for information about direct debits, stuff which is pretty irrelevant, but because its all new to them, they've been getting a bit worried by it all.

I wanted to borrow his car for a couple of hours today (hes out of the country, and has an estate car), mine is a saloon and I wanted to transport a big wooden door to my house. Its never been a problem before now, but she texted me and said she'd decided I wasn't being helpful enough, and I couldn't borrow the car.

Its the kind of petty shite that pisses me off. It's only her, my mate wouldn't ever have a problem with it (hes borrowed my car plenty of times). Shes done this kind of thing before, sticking her nose into business that doesn't concern her (making financial demands like increasing my mate's wages while hes done less work (although not through any fault of his I might add)). The last time it happened, he told her to mind her own fucking business, and she apologised.

I don't really know what to do. Normally, shes really nice, but shes been brought up with a silver spoon in her mouth. Everything, and I mean everything in their house has been plumbed/wired/built/plastered by her father. Their house deposit was paid for with money from both parents (money which will never be paid back). I've had to work for every fucking penny I have, and nobody helps me do any of the work on my house.

Anyway, I think my mate will be concilliatory about it, but if she gets a chip on her shoulder about it, I just know she will cause more trouble. She has already put a wedge between him and his family (and they are a really fantastic bunch).

 

[Scouse]

Bah!

I was going to make a child-abuse joke after reading the title (yes, I'm drunk).

But after reading Tom's heartfelt description of his dilemma, and his heartfelt advice to me in my recent shenanigans I've only got one word to say:

napalm

It's all that's good for her m8.




/Scouse acknowledges that this post has no real value or humour in it but in his current state is so totally consumed by his own wit and intelligence that you lot, frankly, can jump.

 

[Wij]

Being spoilt rotten is a big problem for many women these days

 

[TdC]

tell me about it Wij



Tom, the only thing I can come up with is to talk it over quietly with your mate. Really. She, and I mean this without the slightest offence to womankind globally, will simply not understand/see eye-to-eye/be on the same frequency as yourself.

 

[Munkey]

This link: http://www.sharpman.com/Article.asp?ArticleID=945 is apt methinks

 

[SAS]

Here's my 2pence worth.

Friends are always there. If you cut your friends off or "have" to due to a relationship you are in, then you are on a slippy slope and could start resenting your partner for it, worst of all... what happens if you split? Who do you turn to then?

A mate of mine went into his own little word when he met his first girlfriend and they split after 2 years. He was in a mess, but a number of his friends had moved away and some because he had no contact for 2 years had moved on. I stuck with him though and helped him out.

He's in a new relationship now and following the same pattern, but has said he has learnt from his past mistakes and will not close his friends out of his life. Time will tell I guess.

I'm trying to keep a balance myself between my gf and friends, so far I'm coping but one side will always feel a bit left out sigh.

Remember: Friends are the family of the 21st century.

 

[Ivan]

I don't really know what to do. Normally, shes really nice, but shes been brought up with a silver spoon in her mouth. Everything, and I mean everything in their house has been plumbed/wired/built/plastered by her father. Their house deposit was paid for with money from both parents (money which will never be paid back). I've had to work for every fucking penny I have, and nobody helps me do any of the work on my house.

Tom the simple truth is people at this age do not change, if they do ... its for the worse, at least from my experience it is so. My situation is very similar, when my friend is requesting my help his other half is nice to me. Lately when ive been asking for his help over at his place in her presence, she butts in after he [naturally] agrees and proceeds to tell me how i should stop treating my best friend as a slave and how i am the worst friend to have [all i asked for was to drive me for 3 hours, so i could get new alloys for my car - stuff that he can help with besides driving about]. Situation got out of hand i ended up spending $100 on tax fares.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

she butts in after he [naturally] agrees and proceeds to tell me how i should stop treating my best friend as a slave and how i am the worst friend to have [all i asked for was to drive me for 3 hours, so i could get new alloys for my car - stuff that he can help with besides driving about].

Not meaning to be rude or intrusive: but you asked your mate to drive you for 3 hours to get something for your car?

So you have a car, and won't drive yourself? If that's the case, she's damn right to be telling you how lazy and retarded you are.

 

[Ivan]

Details : would i bloody do something daft like this ? And if i had a working car, why would i use a fucking cab instead ?

The alloys of my car got a crack size of nevada in the middle.


edit : tax fares = taxi fares, minus a typo.