Sex I'll cut my cock off and leave it in you!

[Scouse]

Sounds like something Wij'd do, but some spiders cut their own genitals off to plug up their wimminz!

And! In other shocking news, it seems we all know that they love it really:

the authors think that voluntary castration evolved as a response to both female cannibalism of male spiders after sex and to counter the female's desire to control the duration of sexual intercourse

I, for one, like to ensure I'm still pumping semen into her long after I've left the house

 

[Wij]

Sounds like something Wij'd do, but some spiders cut their own genitals off to plug up their wimminz!

And! In other shocking news, it seems we all know that they love it really:



I, for one, like to ensure I'm still pumping semen into her long after I've left the house

I read that but couldn't work out the reason they thought the spiders were doing it. They said it was so they could escape being eaten but still be pumping abdomen-snot into the female. But if they've sterilised themselves it makes no sense to escape. Genetically they'd be better off letting mummy spider have a nice meal.

 

[Scouse]

They leave their cock in the female so no other spiders can have sex with her. Acts as a plug so no other spiders can deposit their silky white stuff in her to compete with their sperm and can also pump more sperm in post-detatchment.

I guess they then run away a fair bit because getting eaten probably hurts even more than cutting your own cock off.

 

[Wij]

They leave their cock in the female so no other spiders can have sex with her. Acts as a plug so no other spiders can deposit their silky white stuff in her to compete with their sperm and can also pump more sperm in post-detatchment.

I guess they then run away a fair bit because getting eaten probably hurts even more than cutting your own cock off.

I got the first bit but evolution should favour them getting eaten. Without spider-glue they serve no purpose.

 

[Scouse]

I got the first bit but evolution should favour them getting eaten. Without spider-glue they serve no purpose.

It's a messy process. Maybe one meal doesn't give that much of an advantage?

Or maybe once they've lost their cocks they tool around beating up other spiders that may have a go at pulling the plug?

eunuchs are more aggressive and agile compared with males sporting intact organs

Or maybe they gain an appreciation of fine art or help other insects, like in a bugs life? Or something.

 

[TdC]

if you were a lizard you could cut off your cock and it would grow back. seems like an awesome way to mess with les femmes :-D

 

[Wij]

if you were a lizard you could cut off your cock and it would grow back. seems like an awesome way to mess with les femmes :-D

Or a risk free way to try becoming the chojin.

 

[Scouse]

Ha!

if you were a lizard you could cut off your cock and it would grow back. seems like a painful way to mess with les femmes :-D

It'd be a good way to get rid of the bird who just won't get the message tho:

"Go"
"No"
"I'd rather cut my cock off than sleep with you again"
"Go on then.....wait...NO!.. AAAaaaargh!!!!!"

 

[TdC]

you're so ugly, I'd rather cut off my own cock!!!

messing with the ladies, I loves it

 

[DaGaffer]

I got the first bit but evolution should favour them getting eaten. Without spider-glue they serve no purpose.

Yes but evolution doesn't really work like that; this is probably a work in progress; the winning spider design will be the one who's cock grows back... it just hasn't happened yet.

 

[Wij]

Yes but evolution doesn't really work like that; this is probably a work in progress; the winning spider design will be the one who's cock grows back... it just hasn't happened yet.

I don't think you understand evolution. There's no mechanism to favour genes that are working towards something but it doesn't work yet.

 

[DaGaffer]

I don't think you understand evolution. There's no mechanism to favour genes that are working towards something but it doesn't work yet.

I didn't say there was, but that would be the favourable mutation that would get passed on wouldn't it? By sheer virtue of the fact a spider who's cock grew back would be able to breed more than once. I didn't mean evolution was planning that.

 

[Wij]

I didn't say there was, but that would be the favourable mutation that would get passed on wouldn't it? By sheer virtue of the fact a spider who's cock grew back would be able to breed more than once. I didn't mean evolution was planning that.

Well your actual phrase was work in progress. Didn't make any sense to me.

As an organism that understands evolution perfectly I pop myself into the oven with a light coating of olive oil and rosemary after slicing my cock and balls off into a human female. It's the best option.

 

[TdC]

It's the best option.

finally someone who understands!

 

[old.Tohtori]

So this is the kind of stuff i've missed by ignoring, spidercocks as a separete thread?

 

[Vasconcelos]

As long as I could grew a replacement....

 

[Wij]

You can grow them on the backs of mice.

 

[Fweddy]

As long as I could grew a replacement....

Pretty sure even if you convinced me mine would grow back I still wouldn't be cutting it off.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

You can grow them on the backs of mice.

Eek, a penis!

 

[Reno]

Eek, a penis!

Hmm, someone make a cat joke now.

 

[Wij]

Hmm, someone make a cat joke now.

PUSSY!!

 

[TdC]

Eek, a penis!

you hear that a lot?

 

[Scouse]

you hear that a lot?

Sadly no. He doesn't

 

[Wij]

Sadly no. He doesn't

Eek, a maggot chewing a pea!

 

[TdC]

I was thinking of a chicken with dwarfism. I always have that when Wazz is involved

 

[Wazzerphuk]

You people are rubbish at recognising South Park quotes.

SHAME ON YOU ALL

 

[Wij]

You people are rubbish at recognising South Park quotes.

SHAME ON YOU ALL

I take it I'm excluded since I initiated the reference.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Obviously, you have quality and depth.

Unlike these shallow no marks.

 

[opticle]

I got the first bit but evolution should favour them getting eaten. Without spider-glue they serve no purpose.

The cock-cutting adaptation increases the likelihood that their genetic material is carried forward to the next generation. Therefore = evolution

Everything after the transfer of genetic material is moot, unless there are further opportunities for transfer, or the survival of the parent promotes the survival of the little un (?maybe happens here).

Were they able to grow their cock back (or have >1), they'd pwn.

But yeah, evolution doesn't favour something that doesn't quite work (e.g. cock stub instead of functioning cock re-growth).. What gets me is how the hell mechanisms like that, which do exist in nature, have evolved in the first place because they're so complex. It seems like there are a hundred steps required in between where there is no gain at all, e.g. an elephant's nose/trunk.. but then again I guess on the scale of millennia and ridiculous population levels, it is pretty difficult to imagine it.

 

[Scouse]

The cock-chop could be behavioural evolution.

Think about it. Of a million humans how many decide that what they really need is a couple of pieces of metal in their bell-end? Quite a lot.

Of a million spiders maybe you get one that leaves his bell-end in the woman. Just one. Maybe he's got a genetic screw loose that makes that behaviour much more likely, but it's a game changer in a world where spider women love the spider cock from as many sources as possible. Over time more and more spidergirls get to know the feeling of having a spider bell ringing inside her and her kids are much more likely to do it too.

Of a million spiders who are likely to cut their bell end off, how many decide to cut their whole cock and balls off too? Maybe that's another game changer? Bell-ends can be dislodged by a bit of vigorous spider sex after all. Not if you leave your nuts in there too...

...what about if you cram your entire body into her spider minge?