I was just lying in bed........

[Trem]

....thinking, why is it that you wake up with a boner AND dying for a piss?Is it gods sick joke, that your first task of the day should be bending your todger at a right angle just so you don't piss on the bathroom ceiling.Proof surely that god is a woman.One more thing do you women get wide-ons?

 

[xenon2000]

After pissing myself re-reading the entire '#quake2.uk cunts' thread for the past hour and watching SG's video I wasn't really in the right state to read that...

 

[old.katerina]

Originally posted by Tremor
....thinking, why is it that you wake up with a boner AND dying for a piss?Is it gods sick joke, that your first task of the day should be bending your todger at a right angle just so you don't piss on the bathroom ceiling.Proof surely that god is a woman.One more thing do you women get wide-ons?

no we don't but it aint half annoying as you wake us up on route to the bathroom.
Another thing, in the morning do you lot have to inssit on clearing your throat, why oh why.

 

[caLLous]

I was just lying in bed........

That's all I want to know.

 

[old.Explosive23]

Lol..

 

[caLLous]

FS, I wish I could search this board for "lol".

 

[old.Jas]

Do a hand stand on the loo seat

 

[caLLous]

I was backing down the hall, so as not to break anything

Heh heh, anyone else heard any of Kevin Bloody Wilson's stand up? He's a relatively small time (from what I know) aussie comedian... Sings as well.

 

[Trem]

I,ve got an mp3 with him on, if you say he's good i'll give it a listen later on, i kinda thought it sounded cack.

 

[kanonfodda]

Originally posted by caLLous
Heh heh, anyone else heard any of Kevin Bloody Wilson's stand up? He's a relatively small time (from what I know) aussie comedian... Sings as well.

Heh teh funneh!

he's doing a gig near here next month, got tickets already (abuse of position )

 

[caLLous]

WHERE IS "NEAR HERE"?????

Given that your location is somewhat nondescript.

Edit/ Heh, just looked at wayahead.com and saw that Jools Holland is playing locally later on in the year... Will be going to see that. But they had no listings for KBW.

 

[kanonfodda]

Originally posted by caLLous
WHERE IS "NEAR HERE"?????

Given that your location is somewhat nondescript.

Edit/ Heh, just looked at wayahead.com and saw that Jools Holland is playing locally later on in the year... Will be going to see that. But they had no listings for KBW.

Medway towns:

www.medway.gov.uk

should be able to find it on there

 

[caLLous]

Quick links
A Adopt a child Adult education n Archives n Arts n A-Z guide to Medway Council services

Am I in the right place? :|

 

[Zey]

Originally posted by Jas
Do a hand stand on the loo seat

lol played

 

[kanonfodda]

Yeah you are, but I can't find it either, give me a few minutes and I'll e-mail you the details

/edit: If anyone else wants deails, let me know

 

[caLLous]

Heh, thanks. Got up to a list with "What's happening: Libraries" in it and ran away, scared to go on.

 

[Trem]

Originally posted by Zey


lol played

Not played because i would wee up me nose surely!!

 

[old.Reverend Flatus]

Originally posted by caLLous
Heh heh, anyone else heard any of Kevin Bloody Wilson's stand up? He's a relatively small time (from what I know) aussie comedian... Sings as well.

Yeah, I got a few of his...

numbertwo(flatus):~$ l "/home/ftp/Audio/MP3/Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson"/
total 62M
drwxr-xr-x    2 root     root         1.0k Nov 23 23:58 .
drwxr-xr-x  316 root     root         7.0k Mar 30 11:14 ..
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         2.9M Nov  4 10:04 A Tool That'll Fix It.mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         5.3M Nov  4 10:30 Alice, Who The Fuck Is Alice.mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         2.7M Nov  4 09:44 Damn Good Shit.mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         4.8M Nov  4 10:07 Diesel Dykes (Let Loose Live in London) (1).mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         3.7M Nov 18 09:28 Do Ya Fuck On First Dates.mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         2.8M Nov 18 10:45 Don't Touch Your Sister(1).mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         4.6M Nov 15  2000 Festival Of Farts.mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         2.6M Dec  5  2000 Hey Santa Claus You Cunt.mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         3.5M Nov  4 09:25 Honest Mate-Fair Dinkum.mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         4.6M Nov 18 10:16 I Gave Up Wanking.mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         2.7M Sep 10  2000 It Was Over (Kev's Lament).mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         4.4M Nov 18 09:38 Kristmas On The Piss.mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         4.4M Nov 18 10:11 Kristmas Without Snow.mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         4.4M Dec  8  2000 Mick The Master Farter.mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         4.5M Nov 18 09:19 Stick that fuckin phone up your fuckin ass.mp3
-rw-r--r--    1 root     root         3.5M Jan 21  2001 The Pubic Hair Song - 4 20.mp3

 

[caLLous]

I have some you don't have, and you have some I don't have... We should trade.

 

[kanonfodda]

Should have the details now mate

 

[caLLous]

Yup, thanks. Is it a national tour, d'ya know?

 

[~Lazarus~]

Originally posted by Tremor
I was just lying in bed........

I should have stopped reading right there.

 

[Wij]

It's so true. The morning 'bend-piss' can be really quite painful

 

[kanonfodda]

Ok lads, time for some serious pimping

Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson Tour information:

May:
12 Dorking - Dorking Halls - 01306 881717
13 Dartford - Orchard Theatre - 01322 220000
14 Basingstoke - The Anvil - 01256 844244
15 Peterborough - Broadway Theatre - 01733 316100
17 CHARHAM - Central Halls - 01634 403868
18 Margate - Winter Gardens - 01843 292795
19 Southsea - King's Theatre - 02392 828282
21 Plymouth - Pavilions - 01752 222200
22 Tunbridge Wells - Assembly Hall - 01892 530613
23 Reading - Hexagon - 0118 960 6060
24 Lowestoft - Marina Theatre - 01502 533200
25 Cardiff - St. David's Hall - 02920 878444
26 Worthing - Pavilion Theatre - 01903 206206
27 Ipswitch - Regent - 01473 433100
28 Clacton - Princes Theatre - 01255 422958
30 Rhyl - Pavilion Theatre - 01745 330000
31 Kings Lynn - Corn Exchange - 01553 764864

June:

1 Stevenage - Gordon Craig Theatre - 08700 131030
4 Irvine - The Magnum - 01294 278381
5 Glasgow - Pavilion Theatre - 0141 332 1846
7 Bedworth - Civic Hall - 02476 376707
8 Nottingham - The Commodore - 0115 942 9241
9 Halifax - Victoria Theatre - 01422 351158
10 Croydon - Ashcroft Theatre - 0208 688 9291
11 Belfast - Waterfront Hall - 02890 334455

All details now listed.

disclaimer: I accept no responsibilty for the validity of this data, the spelling of this, or any other post, the cost of petrol, the effects of global warming or the death of your pet in a recent road traffic accident.

 

[old.zztop3]

Indeed

 

[S-Gray]

lol trem,

 

[Nibbler]

Originally posted by Tremor
Not played because i would wee up me nose surely!!

You must have a small one. Or a HUGE nose.

 

[wolfeeh]

heh; the stance:

boner-piss stance, if you will:

position yourself as you would to sit on the seat...
spread your legs wider...
back over the hole.
lean forward while standing up...

voila, you can now urinate, without missing, no excess spray and indeed, no dick-strain that you get when trying to bend it too far...


i will of course produce pictures if necessary

 

[xenon2000]

Re: heh; the stance:

Originally posted by Wolfeeh
boner-piss stance, if you will:

position yourself as you would to sit on the seat...
spread your legs wider...
back over the hole.
lean forward while standing up...

voila, you can now urinate, without missing, no excess spray and indeed, no dick-strain that you get when trying to bend it too far...


i will of course produce pictures if necessary

Oooooorrrrrr you could just sit down.

 

[Trem]

Re: Re: heh; the stance:

Originally posted by xenon2000


Oooooorrrrrr you could just sit down.

That doesn't work because either im "hung" or our bog is small but either way me helmet won't go under the seat, kinda just wedges itself on the top