I hate critters

[Tom]

I have a plant in my front room. Quite a big plant. Plants need light and water, so while the weather was nice, I left it outside for a few days. It's one of those big rubbery plants that likes that kind of thing.

Eventually, I brought it back inside, cleaned it etc, and let it be. A few days later, I noticed something.....odd. It took me a while to work out what exactly, but I finally figured out that beforehand, the leaves didn't have whacking great big bite marks on them. Something was afoot.

<snip>

For the last 2 weeks, I have been playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse with the.......something.......that has been taking liberties with my slow-witted green friend. I would wake up in the middle of the night, dash downstairs, switch the light on, and every time miss the devious little swine. Sometimes I swear I would just see the faintest bit of movement on a leaf, from which the bugger had just leapt to safety. One time, I swear I heard it chuckling, as it plotted more dastardly chompiness.

Anyway, tonight I caught it napping. I walked into the front room, to spray the plant with water, AND THERE SHE BLEW.

A SLUG. A SLUG, ON MY BASTARD PLANT!

My imagination isn't powerful enough to describe the rage I felt, that a sodding SLUG had been in my house! Anyway, I cut the leaf (slug and all) off the plant, and plotted my revenge.

You should have seen it cringe as I walked it to the front door! It shrank by about half it's length! My neighbours must wonder what I'm like, and why I shouted 'OMFG PWNED' as I threw a strangely weighted leaf across the street.

Anyway, my plant is now recovering, and the world is once again safe. All in all, another successful day for me.

 

[Xtro]

Meanwhile, back on the ranch...

 

[old.D0LLySh33p]

lmao tommy boy

Hope the plant recovers.

 

[Jonaldo]

Pineapple critters > Apple critters > Spam critters imo


oh wait that's fritters...

 

[kameleon]

Its mother nature getting her own back for that thing you hit the other week

 

[Testin da Cable]

rofl tom

 

[Yoni]

you actually shouted *OMFG PWNED* pronounced as written?:uhoh:

 

[Trem]

Tommeh in fine form.

 

[evilmonkeh]

hoh ho tit

 

[Tom]

Originally posted by Y0ni
you actually shouted *OMFG PWNED* pronounced as written?:uhoh:

Er no, but I thought about it :/

I also thought about salting the little swine, but that would have the RSPM (royal society for the protection of molluscs) down on me like a ton of bricks.

 

[xane]

I was getting a bit pissed off with the critters of the flying variety, so I got this and it works too !

 

[Testin da Cable]

you should all remember Fweddy and his pond full of radioactive kitten-eating mutant frogs :uhoh:

 

[GDW]

You should have made it suffer by sprinkling some salt on it

 

[Testin da Cable]

speaking of hated critters....I really hate mozzies and wasps. I want them all dead. just had to get that off my chest.

 

[~Mobius~]

Good work! All insects should rot in shit, I fucking loathe them.

I get about 3 hours sleep from a bastard Mosquito flying around my head, so I go downstairs to sleep on the sofa and the fucker is still following me. And I still manage to have about 30 bites on me every morning.

Fucking shites.

*Tries to contain his rage*

 

[leggy]

If they rotted in shit the entire ecosystem would collapse resulting in the demise of the human race.

pld mobius.

Mobius for PM

 

[old.Fweddy]

Originally posted by Testin da Cable
you should all remember Fweddy and his pond full of radioactive kitten-eating mutant frogs :uhoh:

Not any more. I moved house when it was very hot, and their guards were sleeping.
I kind of pity whoever moved in. They don't know about the frogs. They might've heard rumours of a shadow growing in the garden, whispers of a nameless terror, but they'll ignore them until the Frog King unleashes his hordes, and then it'll be too late...