I found something old, but great!

[Bahumat]

There is a guy called [GM]Dave - he was a GM in Final Fantasy (online one) but it's probably not true. Anyways he has some really funny conversations between him and the players so I thought I would share this. it's 3 years old, but really funny.

Bannable Offenses: April 2006

Here is an extract;

GM Call Description: Female player being sexually harassed.

Sigh.

Maybe I'll get lucky and the servers will explode.

[GM]Dave>> Hello, Adventurer, yada yada yada.
[GM]Dave>> What's up?
Player>> Some guy just started sending me dirty messages.
[GM]Dave>> Wow.
[GM]Dave>> Were they any good?
Player>> ...
Player>> What do you mean?
[GM]Dave>> Were they hot?
Player>> Not really.
[GM]Dave>> Damn.
Player>> Don't you want to know his name?
[GM]Dave>> Not really.
[GM]Dave>> I don't swing that way.
Player>> I mean so you can punish him.
[GM]Dave>> That's disgusting.
Player>> Dammit, I want you to punish him.
[GM]Dave>> Are you coming on to me?
Player>> No...
[GM]Dave>> I put on my robe and wizard hat...
Player>> What?
[GM]Dave>> Nothing.
[GM]Dave>> Nothing.
Player>> Aren't you going to do something?
[GM]Dave>> What do you want me to do?
[GM]Dave>> Bow chikka wow wow
Player>> Oh god...
[GM]Dave>> Wait...
[GM]Dave>> I'm in your area, but I can't seem to locate you.
Player>> I'm near the AH.
[GM]Dave>> Too many people.
[GM]Dave>> What are you wearing?
Player>> Uh... my White Mage AF gear...
[GM]Dave>> Oh yeah, baby.
[GM]Dave>> Damn, that's hot.
Player>> This is sick.
Player>> I'm leaving.
[GM]Dave>> Oh. It's like that, is it?
[GM]Dave>> Seduce the innocent GM and then leave him.
Player>> What the hell are you talking about?
[GM]Dave>> It's too late.
[GM]Dave>> Just go.
Player>> You need help.
[GM]Dave>> Is that an offer?
[GM]Dave>> Bow chikka wow wow
[GM]Dave>> Hello?

Your tell could not be received. The player has logged out, cancelled her content IDs, uninstalled the game, and is right now smashing her modem with a ball-peen hammer.

[GM]Dave>> Dammit.

 

[Cerb]

Comes across as an arrogent fuckwit to me...

 

[old.Tohtori]

[GM]Dave>> I put on my robe and wizard hat...

Could it be...

 

[Bahumat]

[GM]Dave>> I put on my robe and wizard hat...

Could it be...

Nah don't think it's Blood Ninja

 

[Bahumat]

Comes across as an arrogent fuckwit to me...

All I can ask is that you click the url and spend a few minutes reading and see if you like it. I think I chose a poor example.

 

[ST^]

Just bear in mind he is definitely not (nor was he ever) a real GM. Some were funny, most not.

 

[kirennia]

You idiots trying to impress everyone with your "manliness" is just plain sad.

And the best part is that everyone knows it. Everyone who reads your comments laughs at the little fools trying to act tough.

You can't hang with me.

Imagine a four year old ran up and challenged you to a fight. Would you even bother?

Of course not. And that's why I don't bother with your pathetic, little challenges. You are so far beneath me that they are laughable, at best.

That was the point I stopped reading. What a plank.

 

[Marc]

Just bear in mind he is definitely not (nor was he ever) a real GM. Some were funny, most not.

Just been browsing your webpage.

lol@vodkafairy. Id forgotten all about that!

 

[Everz]

Just been browsing your webpage.

lol@vodkafairy. Id forgotten all about that!

hahaha epic .

 

[Lethul]

Just bear in mind he is definitely not (nor was he ever) a real GM. Some were funny, most not.

Are you sub?

 

[ST^]

Are you sub?

Am I what?

 

[ST^]

Just been browsing your webpage.

lol@vodkafairy. Id forgotten all about that!

Yeah, I remember getting banned (probably by Damini as usual) for my "People Against Vodkafairy" avatar.

Never forget.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Am I what?

A submerged combat vehicle.

Well?

Are you?

 

[CorNokZ]

Fucking lol'd at the VF picture! Had forgotten all about that! Good times indeed

 

[liloe]

Am I what?

He wants to know if you're the Warrior Sub from NP I think =) …*but I guess no ^^

What was so funny about VF?

 

[CorNokZ]

He told everyone he was this girl and all the geeks gave him shitloads of stuff and invited him to grps etc.

Think he did it because his voice was really high pitched or something? Can't really remember

 

[Urgluf]

thread hijack

 

[CorNokZ]

thread hijack

olololol! rep'd

 

[Cerb]

Bahu mate i read the part youd posted, thought it was funny, and then clicked on the link and read the first story that someone else has quoted part of about him fighting people. Now im not stupid....i get tounge in cheek humour, but from this guy, I just didnt get the impression he was only acting thi way, i personally got the impression he was just an arrogent fuckwit

"You cant hang with me"? ....really?

 

[adoNix]

He told everyone he was this girl and all the geeks gave him shitloads of stuff and invited him to grps etc.

Think he did it because his voice was really high pitched or something? Can't really remember

hahaha!