I am gonna kill him!! I'll kill him so bad his children drop dead!

Sissyfoo

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
2,814
I could be over-reacting a tad (like I ever would) but there is this guy in my office who pisses me off no end...to the point where I was tempted to jam my pen into his skull just to make him shut up. Thankfully it is quite a nice pen and I didn't want to get it covered in blood'n'gore so I didn't bother.

Seriously though, he is SO annoying. He keeps trying to be funny and chirps in with totally witless sexual innuendo everytime someone says anything. Even more annoying is the fact that whenever someone asks him a question he will ALWAYS reply with "I didn't do it" ... EVERYTIME!! AUUGH!!

Does anyone else have someone in their office that they would like to have ... 'taken care of' or am I just really unlucky?
 

FoxeH

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Jan 22, 2004
Messages
398
dude like whatever u do dont tell him u hate the fuck out of him cuz it will get worse he willt ry and get people against u and shit
 

evzy

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
2,482
I will do it for you on the following conditions...
a) all debts owed to sissyfoo-bank (tm) are cleared.
b) you tell no-one
c) no-one spots this thread and therefore no-one knows i am going to gank him for you
d) you buy me a packet of hubba-bubba and a proper old school 10p mix(may cost £17 in todays market).
e) i didn't do it!
f) i reserve the right to think up more things later.

And just to let you know it is written into several employment laws that there must be at least 1 numtpy in every workplace otherwise people may begin to enjoy their job too much and the common workers must be kept surpressed at all costs..soo even if i do drop him into a big vat of tar then roll him in sugar and plant him in an anthill followed up with skinning him alive and dipping him in vinegar , he will probably be replaced by another numtpy (they make em in a factory - i read this on that internet thingy somewhere)
 

FoxeH

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Jan 22, 2004
Messages
398
there are loads of people at work that i hate sooo much, only cuz they looked at me dodgy a few times n ive neva spoken to them :s
its odd i l automaticaly hate guys unless i know them or hav talked to them, prolly cuz theyre competition :p
 

BlitheringIdiot

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Dec 24, 2003
Messages
898
Oo look everyone, sissy's 'Proof reading hes report' wink wink.

Ooo oo now look, 'sharpening his pencil' wink wink!

Oo! He's now 'wanking all over my keyboa... fuck.



I think the above example proves what you must do. They when he says something about it, interupt him with 'I didn't do it'. And laugh at your own unfunny joke.
 

Sissyfoo

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
2,814
Hmm...might take you up on yer offer, Evzy!! Depends on how much you owe me though! :D

I think the guy knows I hate him because he catches me glaring at him every now and then...mainly whenever he opens his fucking mouth. My boss REALLY hates him and takes every opportunity to show it but she has buggered off to Australia now and I have nobody to make fun of him with me which makes him all the more unbearable. :eek:

Case in point:

A random office female was talking to him about something and she rolled her eyes in disgust at his answer and said, "Oh just please yourself, Dale!" and he replied in his loud annoying voice, "Oh I would...but I'm in the office right now!" and then looked around the room for approval. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!! KILL HIM!!!
 

Ala

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
1,385
Want me to kill your Boss while she's here? It's the least I can do in return for all the hot online se.... advice you gave me about umm..finding a job ..or stuff.
 

Sissyfoo

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
2,814
Hmm...she is my only ally in the office against the EVIL that is Dale. You can duff her up though...and feed the friend she is travelling with to the fishies! She ALWAYS gives me extra work to do! Bee-atch!

Sod it, kill 'em both! :D
 

BlitheringIdiot

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Dec 24, 2003
Messages
898
...and there was me thinking that actual sex was cool and cyb0ring was for losers... :p
 

'Shy

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
1,824
Hahaha, we have a "sexual innuendo" bloke in our office. Fucking hilarious. Not.
 

swords

Can't get enough of FH
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Dec 22, 2003
Messages
4,337
Unfortunately in my line of work instead of having shit come out of peoples mouths while you are trying to work...it comes in little pots :p
Nerf the NHS!
 

Raven

Happy Shopper Ray Mears
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 27, 2003
Messages
44,617
sounds like someone i work with, i am working on getting him fired atm, wont be to hard as he is retarded and fucks everything up
 

Tallen

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
3,358
I know the feeling.

My supervisor is 6 years my junior, knows about 1/100th about the job that i do, has an annoying squeaky voice, a hitler complex, reports you to the boss for the smallest thing and is so 2-faced it's unreal.

It has got to the point where i simply cant talk to her at work on any level, as 99% of the time anything i do say is twisted around and thrown back at me, then reported to my boss. However, this last week, my refusal to converse with her about anything unrelated to work has been reported to my boss, so apparently i now have an "attitude" and am not a "team-player".

I think she feels threatened by me, as i have a lot more experience and am better qualified (and am also better paid for doing a job with a lot less responsibility :)).

Sexual-innuendo guy (we had one too...once) got fired about a month ago for making a backhand comment about the manager's pregnant PA when the manager was in earshot.........strange how the funniest thing he ever did was gettting fired :)
 

Dukat

Resident Freddy
Joined
Jan 10, 2004
Messages
5,396
bleh, i feel sorry for ya sissyfoo, not so much of the sexual innuendo in my grp at college, the closest thing we have to the class fool is a crazy maniac with ginger hair glasses and he looks stoned constantly, he just spouts of star treck every 5 mins, i was once saying my post code which had 'SG' in it, all of a sudden he jumped up from the back of the room and screamed 'STARGATE COMMAND!!!!!!!!'

pretty strange but there always seems to be one or two ppl in every grp like that.

he's got a faceparty account somewhere, will see if i can find the address for it
 

tallwiz

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Feb 23, 2004
Messages
140
have you thought of going to a tribunal ?
claim sexual harrasment, im sure some of the other ladies in your office will back you up....
just a thought.....
if not, if you got the flamethrower, i got the matches eh eh
 

tris-

Failed Geordie and Parmothief
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
15,260
make a floppy disk explosive and watch him set him self on fire when he trys using it.
 

Sissyfoo

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
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tallwiz said:
have you thought of going to a tribunal ?
claim sexual harrasment, im sure some of the other ladies in your office will back you up....
just a thought.....
if not, if you got the flamethrower, i got the matches eh eh

That's the annoying thing; nobody is really offended by what he says. Neither am I tbh...I just find him extremely annoying and unfunny!

I once had the pleasure of being sat in a car with him for 40 mins (he has a PS and a DVD player in his car ffs and was watching 2Fast2Furious when I got into his car...ooookay) and he talked non-stop about his car and kept making one-liner observations about life which he called his philosophies, such as 'I would rather have a bottom in front of me than a frontal lobotomy'. I just counted the minutes until I could get to the bar and order a tall glass of vodka and arsenic!
 

evzy

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
2,482
Soooooo you don't remember how much i owe you... well just to remind you it works out at about (inluding interest to be fair) about 3g in game or 0.00001p real life... give or take 1%.

Why don't you plant something really bad like a granny porn mag (i dont know that they exist for sure - honest) in his works drawer and then when he is in ask for something from his drawer like a stapler and as he opens it scream "GRANNY SHAGGER PERVERT" he wont come back ever again.. job done!

:flame:
 

Sissyfoo

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
2,814
evzy said:
Soooooo you don't remember how much i owe you... well just to remind you it works out at about (inluding interest to be fair) about 3g in game or 0.00001p real life... give or take 1%.

Why don't you plant something really bad like a granny porn mag (i dont know that they exist for sure - honest) in his works drawer and then when he is in ask for something from his drawer like a stapler and as he opens it scream "GRANNY SHAGGER PERVERT" he wont come back ever again.. job done!

:flame:

Seriously (and I'm not joking here) he would be PROUD of it!! He once told us all about this time he came strolling out of the men's toilets in a local gay bar with nowt but a rubber chicken to hide his little soldier. :/

...and he isn't gay.
 

evzy

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
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Sissyfoo said:
Seriously (and I'm not joking here) he would be PROUD of it!! He once told us all about this time he came strolling out of the men's toilets in a local gay bar with nowt but a rubber chicken to hide his little soldier. :/

...and he isn't gay.

Hmmm see what you mean.. best kill him then and have done with it..
 

Sissyfoo

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
2,814
OMG! Yea! Why didn't I think of that!? :D

~WHUMP~

WOOOO YEA!
 

Chilly

Balls of steel
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
9,046
slow poisening is a winner sissy. if theres a communal water cooler dump some arsenic or perhaps mercury to make him go mad, but make sure all the cool kids know not to drink it ;)
 

Sissyfoo

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
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Don't worry...I'll make sure not to drink it. ;)

The rest of the office can go to hell! :D

<-- team player!
 

Ala

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
1,385
Sissyfoo said:
Seriously (and I'm not joking here) he would be PROUD of it!! He once told us all about this time he came strolling out of the men's toilets in a local gay bar with nowt but a rubber chicken to hide his little soldier. :/

...and he isn't gay.

I've never met the guy and I want to kill him.

swords method sounds best imo. Rent out 'The Young Poisoners Handbook'. Just remember, don't get too cocky and think you can dispose of every twat you h8 because if you kill in that volume you're gonna go down for it. Best stick to one every 5yrs or so ;)
 

Sissyfoo

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
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If I killed every twat I hated then there would only be about 10-20 people left alive in the world to prosecute me! :D
 

Ala

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
1,385
I doubt you'd get that far :p They'd probably use a tazer to subdue your Hulklike rage-a-thon and while you were still twitching they'd throw you in a tub and toss in their clothes and some 'Surf' washing powder. :mad:
 

Sissyfoo

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
2,814
Aww hell, it would only take one granny with a purse to subdue me.

I could do with a bath though...
 

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