How many insults can you fit in an insult? [Insult thread!]

[old.Tohtori]

This thread is towards the thread "any1 notice how serious we've come".

Insultthread!

I'll start with this gem of an insult. Atleast three in it.

Towards a man:

"I actually wish that you could get laid, with a c*ck in your mouth you'd actually shut up for a while."

So in one, rather polite sentence, i just called someone gay, unable to get laid and who talks too much.

Go for it! It's fuuuun!

 

[Job]

mmmfffmmppp hhhppffff gffuf bbrrr gack achaaaack

 

[Lorra]

"your so crap you make Dale Winton look good in a pink toto (if it spelt wrong tis a Ballerina's dress)"

 

[Gengi]

In a similair vein to Teh Seel's

Your wife is better in bed than you, at least according to your younger twin brother and sister.

Later

 

[Ezteq]

"yes i heard you had a job with a modleing agency, though being the poster girl for a profilactics company is hardly flattering now is it"

"family get together is it? say hi to your mother, sister and gran for me...i hope she's well, by the way how the weather in alabama at the mo?"

"dont play dumb, i hate people who have ideas above their station"

"well that joke was funny the first time i heard it but your attempts at witt have murdered it, with a blunt instrument"

ok i'll retract the claws now

 

[Binky the Bomb]

Same shit, different face.

 

[Binky the Bomb]

Got some more, ang on.

"What time do you have to be back at your habitat/zoo."

"If it wasn't for your breasts, there's be nothing endearing about you."

"Yes, i know your face higher, but your breasts have more charm."

"If i wanted to talk to something weird and mutated, id speak to the cheese in my fridge at home."

"If you were a boil, you'd be lanced without a second thought."

"Your face, your ass, they both manufacture shit."

"You started talking to me, you can stop talking to me, you can now fuck off away from me. Good doggy."

"There's a rule. If she looks 21, and says she's 18, she's realy 12. Using the same maths to work out that, your about 9. Fuck off kid."

"I'm not being cruel, i'm being honest, you are uguly."

-And finally-

"You! Off my planet!"

 

[old.Tohtori]

My foot. Your ass. Now.

 

[Ezteq]

heard this one from a really funny film called the cowboy way with keifer sutherland and woody harralson in it and it makes me chuckle like a maniac ever since
"Boy you bout as ugly as a hat fulla assholes!"
nothing terrably witty about it but its to the point and sadly sooo very true about certain folks.

 

[Aoami]

Fuck off you fat ****.

works wonders

 

[Daws]

Someone tells you a story that would normally require sympathy afterwards.

"Ahh, that is such a shame! I was hoping to give a shit."

 

[tedStar]

Fuck off you little shower of shites works fine...

or

You werent hit by the ugly stick, the whole bloody forest fell on you.

 

[Job]

I do believe the drill instructor from Full Metal Jacket had insults off to a fine art.

'How tall are you private?'
'Five foot ten'
'Five foot ten, I didn't know they could stack shit that high'

Yes I know, only one insult in a sentence...working on it.

 

[Ezteq]

hehehe full metal jacket is a cool movie, i love clint eastwood in heartbreak ridge "I eat razor wire and piss napalm son!" if you've not seen it i reccommed it, specially the bit where he tell's this bloke in his troop to come up with a cadance, classic tbh.
"model t ford with a tank fulla gas...
hand fulla ***** and a mouth fulla ass" right infront of the other squad leaders lol.

 

[yaruar]

"your so crap you make Dale Winton look good in a pink toto (if it spelt wrong tis a Ballerina's dress)"

the way it's spelt there means shagging Dorothy's little dog after a shave, so beastiality and animal cruelty too!.....