House Viewing

[Damini]

Well, me and Kenny got the thumbs up for getting a mortgage, so today the house hunting began.

For prosterity, I shall record the hunting process. I can hear you all whimpering with joy already



Turned up at the house slightly early, so I took the opportunity to explore. A few things I found slightly disconcerting;

The place was seething with fat children who smoked and spat.

The property value was probably worked out on the basis that shopping trolleys have a monetary value, and so therefore saw them as an investment. I think they attributed to 1/4 of the value of the house.

The road sign had been cunningly altered to include the word fuck and shit.

I found three fridges in three minutes.

The house opposite has the shell of a car, painted gaudy colours, and proclaiming the legend "RETARD 463" on a billboard mounted on top of it.



And so, I entered the property. Cue crushing handshake from nervous estate agent, obviously slightly apprehensive about leaving his car out of sight for any prolonged periods of time.

The house was *interesting*. Ex-student property, and it had the works. Tasteful woodchip wallpaper, seventies decor, chipped plastic kitchen... The front window had was appeared to be an air pellet hole smashed in it... The bathroom was a chirpy paisley number, crammed into what I can only assume was once a cupboard.

Inside the actual cupboard in the downstairs bedroom I found a door. Disappointingly, it did not lead to Narnia. It lead to the concrete vomit of a backgarden, where I found a washing machine and a hand drawn sign telling me "Smile - You're On Camera!". Oh, the warm rush of reassurance I felt.

Upstairs was marginally better, but the main bedroom had plastic fitted cupboards which, while they might once have been white, now are the colour I can only describe as the Bognorism "Lung Butter". If you don't know, don't ask, because you don't want to know. Guilded fake gold Lung Butter plastic fitted wardrobes. Lawrence Blah Blah Bowen would have a seizure.



I don't think this is the property for me. The search goes on...

 

[S-Gray]

Sounds like a Peaceful house.. in a peaceful neighbourhood

 

[Damini]

For local people...

 

[xane]

Location, location, location, nothing else matters.

So what if you inherit a "Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen
special" you can always spend a little work and money on it, use interior disasters to your advantage and get the price down.

Best indicator is the cars in the road outside

 

[caLLous]

Originally posted by Damini
Inside the actual cupboard in the downstairs bedroom I found a door. Disappointingly, it did not lead to Narnia.

I always wanted one of those. When I was younger, I'd run around the house after watching The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe looking for previously undiscovered doors.

 

[Testin da Cable]

just don't expect to get anywhere fast. please, only go for it when the house feels right [and then only after you've thought about it. twice.]

 

[Embattle]

Originally posted by Damini
For local people...

Normally means there is a crazy person some where a round

 

[Xtro]

Don't worry Damini, house hunting is always a nightmare and whilst this isn't a great time to be buying with the artificially inflated house prices - its still you who the sellers want to please.

That house is obviously a no-go but if you see one you like then don't be afraid to haggle. The high prices = putting a lot off so hopefully they wont be inundated with buyers (fingers crossed for you).

As for the interior - who cares? Most of the fun is doing it up yourself. Forget what the cupboards, wardrobes are like - they'll all be gone. As someone said - its the location that is the key. Will your car be safe, is it a decent area, shops nr etc etc.

I was lucky, bought 3 houses going shockingly cheap in a semi-rough area when I heard they were building student accomodation there. I had heard rumours the unofficial student area would be expanding and I was right. Paid £28k for the 3 houses and another £5k on doing them up and putting cooker in etc. Sold them for approx £40K each just 3 yrs later - the area is total studentville now

I still live in a shithole myself though lol.

 

[Damini]

Originally posted by camazotz
Location, location, location, nothing else matters.

So what if you inherit a "Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen
special" you can always spend a little work and money on it, use interior disasters to your advantage and get the price down.

Best indicator is the cars in the road outside

The cars in the road either were cars without wheels, or wheels without cars.

I think, even if you were to do it up, the people that would live in a nice done up house, wouldn't want to live there. It would need a new bathroom, a new kitchen, and every single room would need stripping, replastering and repainting, not to mention new carpet and curtains. I cant even begin to hazard how much that would cost to do. Its all silly money to me.

 

[Nos-]

Damini has been to look at marky's house ¦-(

 

[Hashmonster]

keep the faith damini - summo or caLLous will be willing to put u up for a bit

Wish we had a garage, this area is getting pretty dodgy now

 

[caLLous]

Yeah! There's about a 1'x1' area I'd gladly give up behind the door. You'd have to remember to breathe in whenever someone opens the door though.

 

[PR.]

My suggestion is to go live in a TravelInn til the housing market collapses, then you can go by Beckingham Palace for a couple of grand.

I reckon buying a house now is a real bad idea, negative equity or something. Thats not much help though if you got no where else to go :/

*bides time*

 

[S-Gray]

aye.. Parents are selling our old house (We rented it to Family when we moved) and it come to around £60k.. i think its price use to be £45/£50k

 

[mank!]

We bought this house for 95k six years ago. Had it valued recently and it's now worth 210k. Four bedroom detached house in a dismal cul-de-sac in a village in the middle of nowhere. I've still got cable mind

 

[*charlton_thd*]

LIVE ON MY ROAD!!

Information on Herries road

 

[Gumbo]

PR. has a good point, to quote a property speculater (sp.?) who drinks in my local, "The market is looking very toppy", which i believes means it can't stay this way for long.

Also the Chancellors predictions for growth in the last budget seem to be waaaay out, and are already not being matched, the stock market is screwed, and Interests rates are soon going to head skywards, all of which point to a decline in the overinflated housing market.

However....

The same Speculator (sp.?), who by the way we all call loot, cos of his abundant moolah, says if you are buying to keep, for say the next 15 years or so, then there's never really that bad a time to buy, and you might aswell just go ahead. My sister is doing just that at the moment. Just don't buy with the idea of flogging it on in a coupla years, cos you will lose a lot of money.

Yours Faithfully

Gumbo, the Harbinger of Doom

 

[wolfeeh]

yuh

cannot emphasise how important good car security is if you HAVE a car at least.

garage is worth a shitload off ur insurance too. etc.

<sowwy if i seem to be doing this to death, but i've had my car keyed 4 times in 6 weeks - is not amused>

 

[Wij]

Oi - don't dis my house

 

[Trem]

Getting our's officially valued tomorrow(hence the hoovering), we got it valued by an estate agent and it was 80k(we bought it for 51k 18 months ago), we need the official valuation because we wanna "release" the capital or summat(samm does the money stuff), I've got to say 80k is fucking stupid for a two bedroom semi, and I live up North so I hate to think what it would be valued at in your neck of the woods Dam

 

[stu]

Sounds like a total shithole tbh

 

[L_Plates]

Originally posted by Damini
I found three fridges in three minutes. /B]

classic ... hope it gets better for you 2

 

[*charlton_thd*]

Come live in rustic sheffield, with its close proximity parking and sturdy houses!!

 

[Hashmonster]

just popping out to the shops! just gotta move 7 boats first....

 

[Xtro]

Spookily Charlton lives 10 mins away from me...eek

 

[*charlton_thd*]

Its 20 if you walk it........

 

[Xtro]

Hmm stop scaring me

Damn you Blades fan!

 

[Damini]

Think we're gonna put an offer in for where we're living now. The other houses are scary, and at least we have the slight vantage point of no chain, already in residence, which should stand in our favour.

I'm aware how scary the house market is at the moment, and we're looking at a variable rate, but since we only plan to stay for two years MAX, the hope is that things cant go that horribly astry so quickly.

 

[PR.]

Originally posted by Damini
the hope is that things cant go that horribly astry so quickly.

Famous last words

Good luck any how...

 

[WPKenny]

Originally posted by PR.


Famous last words

Good luck any how...

Thanks for all the well wishing.

Famous last words eh? heh. We're kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. If we move out, we need to raise nearly a thousand pounds to put a deposit on a new rented property and run the risk of being turfed out after just six months, AGAIN!

Or we make the rather large and heavily "committed to a long term relationship" kind of step and get a mortgage together.

It seems that getting on the property ladder at any time is running a risk. I think we've gone out and got advice from a wide range or sources and have started looking at properties in the area. It is becoming apparent that it might be a wise move to stay put and buy this place.

We're in a nice house in an average neighbourhood that is in a good location with regards to distance from town and train station. I guess it's not so bad after all.

The only problem I have is that it difficult to get any sort of breeze through the house. You could open all the windows and you get bugs flying in but there never seems to be any ort of draft blowing through. Which means that after a shower, the house gets quite humid after opening the bathroom door.

Apart from that relatively small probelm, the house is good. So we're gonna put an offer in on the house.

It's quite funny seeing you guys quote house prices like 60k and 40k.

40,000 pounds in this neck of the woods, would get you a delux caravan, complete with free bricks. And I'm NOT joking. I'll send you the estate agent listing if you really want.

We're looking at around 95k for our house which is described as a "ground floor maisonette". But we'll prolly offer something closer to 90k and see what she says.