Help

[Earl]

Help, I have a 'friend' and she erm.. I forgot her birthday, but then I remembered, but its too late now, and I need a card for her coming tomorrow, and a presant, but I havn't known her long, but I need something, shit. How can I get something, what can I get? I don't want her to have a do-it-yourself poo in a box, my bowels are loose so it wouldn't be such a great idea, but thats another story...

 

[Munkey]

Reminds me of that b3ta.com question of the week.

You're fucked mate

Hell hath no woman like her birthday forgotten

 

[Earl]

While we're here, what dvd can I erm.. 'rent' for tomorrow?

 

[WiiWii]

While we're here, what dvd can I erm.. 'rent' for tomorrow?

"rent" a comedy maybe "weeding crashers" or some other cheese comedy that will make her laugh, it might help you

 

[lilmissnaughty]

get her one of these
http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/search.do?productCode=KNIBLO

or u could tell her u got her some sweets then whip this out an tell her she cant use her hands to eat em
http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/search.do?productCode=CANPOS

lol actually prolly niether of those r a good idea and may result in u getting hurt some way

 

[Earl]

get her one of these
http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/search.do?productCode=KNIBLO

or u could tell her u got her some sweets then whip this out an tell her she cant use her hands to eat em
http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/search.do?productCode=CANPOS

lol actually prolly niether of those r a good idea and may result in u getting hurt some way

It's funny that you mention the latter, I happen to have the guy one... Although maybe the sweets have gone off since christmas..

 

[lilmissnaughty]

It's funny that you mention the latter, I happen to have the guy one... Although maybe the sweets have gone off since christmas..

lol put em on an ask someone to taste em, purely for the practical purpose of seeing if they r still any good ofc not just to get a cheap thrill....honest...

 

[Earl]

Would "She's the man" be any good? I erm.. already have that so it would save on my erm, rental bandwidth . I've never watched it, it sounds lame, but I supposed it could be funny.. what do you think?

 

[mank!]

flowers are the answah!

 

[Earl]

My dad owns a flower shop, it's meaningless when they know i've got them for free Plus she's sub 18 and wouldn't appreciate, although i'd like to add shes post-jailbait.

 

[old.user4556]

How about giving her a big fat cock in the face?

Seriously, dunno; I think you're fucked, we all make mistakes like these and learn never to do them again. See it as a learning experience.

 

[TdC]

Big G = winnah!

 

[Earl]

I think it's gonna be ok... she isn't that bothered, it's not like shes my GF and i desperatly needed to remember, and well, lets say shit hit the fan with someone else last night so i've had my mind on other things.

Is this film gonna be good? Ya know, to pass time in between all the hawt kinky sweetie-thong-eating...

 

[old.user4556]

But you may have passed up a opportunity for a good sperming ... or is it not like that at all?

Excuse my mind

 

[old.user4556]

Big G = winnah!

My Mrs is away on holiday for a week, my brain is working overtime, porn isn't cutting it .

 

[mank!]

would you like some hot sweaty webcam sex, g?

 

[WiiWii]

Hmm cant u just do something romantic for her? like cook dinner or something? "It's not the present it's the effort"

Or make it like a hmm treasure hunt, and make it really hard so you have time to go get a real gift?

 

[old.user4556]

would you like some hot sweaty webcam sex, g?

it depends who with

 

[Sockstuff]

Richard sharpe is up for some

 

[TdC]

My Mrs is away on holiday for a week, my brain is working overtime, porn isn't cutting it .

my gf is having a nice shower. I've demanded a boob-to-face massage from her


still, her being her, I may also get the theraputic no-sex-for-three-weeks-cos-you're-a-sexist-c.unt-tdc treatment

 

[old.user4556]

ffgerg rg erg

fgsfds?

 

[WiiWii]

my gf is having a nice shower. I've demanded a boob-to-face massage from her


still, her being her, I may also get the theraputic no-sex-for-three-weeks-cos-you're-a-sexist-c.unt-tdc treatment

hahaha! I can relate to that feeling, it's so sad

 

[Sockstuff]

fgsfds?

The cat walked on the keyboard :/

 

[old.user4556]

fs.

 

[TdC]

hahaha! I can relate to that feeling, it's so sad

we're together three and a half years now, and I've still not learnt when the optimum moment is for getting some. my current theory is that it is all completely random

 

[Clown]

How about giving her a big fat cock in the face?

He can't do that. Physically impossible.

 

[old.user4556]

still, her being her, I may also get the theraputic no-sex-for-three-weeks-cos-you're-a-sexist-c.unt-tdc treatment

I hear ya; worse still is when it's a case of abstain then the promise of a dirty jazz fest only to be told ... "actually, not tonight, maybe tomorrow".

With balls like water melons, there is but one course of action.

I really must order a Fleshlight for those nights. Although, I don't know if i could bring myself to fuck a disembodied fanny in a jar.

 

[Earl]

Hmm cant u just do something romantic for her? like cook dinner or something? "It's not the present it's the effort"

Or make it like a hmm treasure hunt, and make it really hard so you have time to go get a real gift?

Thats a plan, I could send her to find some multicoloured paint as part of a clue..

 

[TdC]

I hear ya; worse still is when it's a case of abstain then the promise of a dirty jazz fest only to be told ... "actually, not tonight, maybe tomorrow".

With balls like water melons, there is but one course of action.

I really must order a Fleshlight for those nights. Although, I don't know if i could bring myself to fuck a disembodied fanny in a jar.

I feel your pain, or rather I don't as I am off to assist with the applying of body-lotion to teh freshly scrubbed one

 

[old.user4556]

Gifv!