Help me - I'm in a quandary!

[Naetha]

OK, I have a major dilemma, and I need your help to solve it.

My Dad retired today, and is having a retirement party tomorrow in North Wales. At this party, are going to be his office staff, and the various people he's trained and worked with over the past 30 odd years.

He's invited me and my hubby(Lee).

I'm going to know a few people there, but "know" as in - "well you work with my Dad, I've met you about twice when I was 12 years old".

Lee is going to know nobody, except me, my Dad, my dad's gf (we've met her twice) and my 14 year old brother.

The food is going to be entirely vegetarian and wholefoody, also my Dad loves garlic, so lots of garlic dishes. Me and Lee aren't really into vegetarian food, soya/tofu/humous etc, and Lee hates garlic, so food is not going to be a plus.

Now here's the other side of the stinger. Lee's friend at work is having a house warming party www.mrq.org.uk which looks like its gonna be awesome on the very same night.

I've tried talking to my Dad about it, and all he said was that he'd be really disappointed if I didn't come. He didn't deny that I'd not know anyone, and that Lee would have a pretty miserable time.

I've tried saying to my Dad that I'd prefer to give the party a miss and come down another weekend when we can actually spend some time together, but again he didn't want any of it, and just said he'd be really disappointed if I didn't come down that weekend.

I can't fake car trouble or anything like that as it would be too contrived, and tbh I don't like lying to my Dad.

What should I do?

Oh, and its my birthday today, and its been poo

/grump

 

[Saveus]

suck it up and take one for the team, thats life for ya.

 

[evzy]

Whereabouts North Wales is it - I know a few places around there being as I kinda live there - can maybe tell you if teh food is gonna be worth travelling for! Not that I am a fat bloater who goes out eating every few nights

 

[Krait]

Oh, and its my birthday today, and its been poo

/grump

Happy birthday. !

 

[Naetha]

Its in Brynrefail village hall, and my Dad and is gf are doing the food - oh I cannot wait.

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[evzy]

Ah... not one I know and if they aint doing the cooking anyways... well lets hope ya dad is Jamie Oliver or summat..

This is why many years ago you got pocket money - it was just a down payment on you coming to do's like that !!

 

[Cadiva]

Oh, and its my birthday today, and its been poo

/grump

Happy Birfday hon, best advice, go to Dad's retirement party and try make the best of it and then try to get together with the party guys for some drinks Sunday evening perhaps?

 

[Kharok Svark]

Well, he will only retire once, you can go to other parties any time.

I guess you are either bored for a day, or he is upset alot longer.

Just agree with you other half that you will stay close to eachother to share the boredom.

Maybe after you have been there a couple of hours, find an italian or pizza place close and go for some food.

If you go you might be bored for the night, if you don't you might feel guilty for a lot longer.

 

[Naetha]

Nah, I've decided I'm not going. If he understands why I'm not going to enjoy it, and still wants me to go, knowing full well I'm not going to be happy, then thats pretty mean of him tbh. I will see him later in the month, or God-forbid he can always come and visit me for a change.

I could understand why he wanted me to be there if he thought I'd enjoy myself, but he knows neither me nor Lee will be happy so why does he want us there? So he can parade me in front of his friends?

/whine about childhood

/throw tantrum

And no I don't do this often

 

[Rediknight]

Happy Birthday Naetha

i assume you're driving, right? Well, if you drive to your dads do in Wales - leave early so you can spend a fair chunk of the day with him. If necessary Lee can catch some sleep when you get there - use the excuse of a late night, been up all night not very well.

Explain to him politely that you will have to go back to Leeds tonight though, for some well thought out reason (you'll think of something) then at about 8/9pm set off back home with Lee driving. You can catch a sleep on the way.

As it's in N Wales, i would guess it's what, about 3 hours drive? That'd mean you getting back to Leeds at about 11/midnight kinda time - thats just when the parties gettin started!!

Bang back a couple of Pro Plus each, half a litre of Mega Jolt Cola and then grab the Spice Weasel and take it up a notch!

BAM!!!

 

[Krait]

The best way around it is to do what I always do...........get drunk beforehand and the night flies by.

Plus you'll never get invited to any similar meetings ever again (if you do it right).

 

[Naetha]

I'm far too old for that Redi, and Lee is even older

Come midnight, we'll want a cup of hot cocoa and a cheesy sci-fi horror film to watch

 

[evzy]

Leeds to North Wales - depending on where in North Wales - 2 hours... Used to go out with a girl from Leeds

 

[evzy]

Oh Happy Birfday as well !!!

 

[tris-]

well you already decided but my advice would of been thus -

do wtf you want to.

 

[Mikah75]

hmm
this reminds me of my 18th:< friend and me were gonna have a joint party, but it was on the same day as one of my best mates dads 50th, so i didnt wanna spend the night without us 3 together, ended up at his dads get completely bladdered, and i got video'd doing saturday night xD

i know you'll have a crappy time, but you dont want that disappointed look off your dad, its not nice seeing it

 

[confused]

Tbh you wouldn't be able to use any "last minute" excuses like your car broke down etc, simply because you've already said you didn't want to go, ultimately you've really gotta go

 

[tris-]

she doesnt have to go at all. why should she be forced to do something she dont want to do? surely her dad can understand every reason for not wanting to go.

 

[Outlander]

your a grown up, dont go.

 

[Fana]

I dont see why you should have to go if you dont want to. Its a retirement party so isnt it more logical for your dad to concentrate on spending time with the people he has worked with etc? I dont see the need to have lots of family there that have nothing to do with his work. You can have a private dinner/get-together later for the family, celebrating his retirement, in my oppinion. Tell your dad he is being childish if he acts hurt about it!

 

[Tilda]

I dont get everybody saying don't go, its her dads retirement day, thats not gonna happen often.
As saveus said, suck it up and take one for the team.
Personally, I'd go, but go for a meal nearby first so you miss the nasty food, and then just go for the rest of the evening.
If they were closer id suggest going to the dads thing early, then caning it down the motorway to make the house warming late or something, but wales to leeds is a fair trek
If you have to pick between them, go to the retirement thing, family come above all else, and they'll be other housewarmings.

 

[Ingafgrinn Macabre]

OK, I have a major dilemma, and I need your help to solve it.

My Dad retired today, and is having a retirement party tomorrow in North Wales. At this party, are going to be his office staff, and the various people he's trained and worked with over the past 30 odd years.

He's invited me and my hubby(Lee).

I'm going to know a few people there, but "know" as in - "well you work with my Dad, I've met you about twice when I was 12 years old".

Lee is going to know nobody, except me, my Dad, my dad's gf (we've met her twice) and my 14 year old brother.

The food is going to be entirely vegetarian and wholefoody, also my Dad loves garlic, so lots of garlic dishes. Me and Lee aren't really into vegetarian food, soya/tofu/humous etc, and Lee hates garlic, so food is not going to be a plus.

Now here's the other side of the stinger. Lee's friend at work is having a house warming party www.mrq.org.uk which looks like its gonna be awesome on the very same night.

I've tried talking to my Dad about it, and all he said was that he'd be really disappointed if I didn't come. He didn't deny that I'd not know anyone, and that Lee would have a pretty miserable time.

I've tried saying to my Dad that I'd prefer to give the party a miss and come down another weekend when we can actually spend some time together, but again he didn't want any of it, and just said he'd be really disappointed if I didn't come down that weekend.

I can't fake car trouble or anything like that as it would be too contrived, and tbh I don't like lying to my Dad.

What should I do?

Oh, and its my birthday today, and its been poo

/grump

It's your dad, he's only retireing once in his life...
friend probably will move somewhere else somewhere in his life
Dad = family
Friend = unrelated

go

 

[tris-]

i dont get the big deal with the retirement tbh.

so what?! did neatha work with him? i doubt it. did his workmates work with him? safe to say 100% they did. so who should be celebrating his time there and saying farewell? neatha doesnt need to say farewell, she will see him when ever.
his work mates do need to say farewell. they wont see him when ever any longer.

i still do not see why neatha should have to attend.

you can see from what she said that he is being selfish also. he didnt care that lee would have a bad time. he didnt care that she wouldnt know anyone so would be stuck in a corner with lee and her dad wondering up on occasions.

 

[Ezteq]

Tbh yes he's your dad, with out him you wouldnt be here but i doubt he was thinking that when you were concieved lol, people can't use the excuse "but its family!!" for every sodding thing lol so what its family? if you'd just go and be miserable then its a pretty poor show on your dads part expecting you and your hubby to go and be miserable when he'd probably only see you to speak to for about 30 mins and spend the rest of the time socialising with welsh vegitarian friends.

The thing about family mistifies me somewhat and i must admit i gave a cheer when i read you'd decided your not going. Just because your related to someone doesnt give them the right to put the emotional stranglers on you everytime it suits them.

Happy Birthday from me i hope you have a very good year and have a great time at the friends house party

 

[Naetha]

Done the deed - he's still disappointed but we're meeting up in 3 weeks time

 

[old.Tohtori]

Hmm.

Well, it's a matter of being selfish and unselfish.

Go to dad party= Be miserable but enjoy what it gives pappa.
Go to friends house= Have "fun" while thinking your dads miserable.

Tough choice, aye.

 

[Ezteq]

Done the deed - he's still disappointed but we're meeting up in 3 weeks time

good on you!