Grieving

[Bodhi]

Alright there folks. It is with quite a bit of sadness I'm writing on this topic to tell you I lost my father on Wednesday night (just before the scousers lost) to a massive heart attack. He had been in to North Staffs on monday to have a stent fitted to his heart, i.e to try and fix him, yet it all seemed to be in vain.

Since it happened I have been trying to carry on as he would have wanted (i.e look after me mum) but I am struggling. I have had a beer in my hand since wednesday at about 7:15, and its only cos i miss the old bastard. If I can be half the man he was, I will be doing very well.

I think the point of starting this thread was, well I'm not sure.

(I've been bumming people out all night, so it only seems fair you guysh get a bit of it)

He was a true scotsman, as in, he'd just come out of heart surgery, and what was the first meal he wanted?

Burgers.

If anyone has anythign shit they want to share then this is the thread for it...

 

[Ctuchik]

I'm sorry man. Lost my granny a few years ago and it almost killed me.

Take it easy and dont lock yourself up for to long and TALK to someone if it gets to hard on you.

 

[nath]

I have absolutely no pearls of wisdom to offer on this subject so I'll just say really sorry to hear that mate :\.

 

[Trem]

Chin up Bodlar, I lost my dad a few years back, also in the North Staffs (what a grim place it is).

You miss your dad more with each year that passes, it hits harder everytime I get a new car and I can't show him or when me and my mates do something stupid, he loved hearing what fuck nuggets we were.

Erm I may of not helped cheer you up there at all

 

[Sparx]

really sorry to hear mate. I lost my Gran to cancer this time last year, it was a total blow to my family cause she was only 68. There aren't enough words in the world to help you in this time. I still catch myself thinking about my gran, and this post has brought it back to me.
One thing that got me through it all was remembering when i was younger going on loooooooong walks for hours with my gran and her dog, Ben (who has also passed away) little things like that i will remember.
If i could give any advice it would be grab one great memory and remember him that way

 

[throdgrain]

Genuinely sorry to hear that mate

 

[Edmond]

When my mum died i didnt really greive until about 3 years after tbh, so its maybe good to deal with it now? i dont know

I think we all deal with it in different ways, i was only 22 and i think it was something i just didnt know how to deal with, so i think i pushed it aside until i was ready

But as Ctuchik says, try to talk to someone if you can, someone outside of the family circle who is not directly affected. and if you want to stay up all night with a beer, then do so, whatever gets you through it, but dont let it end up taking over

Remember, how ever hard it seems, life goes on and you have to just get on with it, and however cheesy it sounds, he wouldn't want you to be beating yourself up about it either.

Sorry for your loss, take care

 

[rynnor]

Do what you feel - dont think you have to do whats expected of a grieving person because everyone reacts differently.

When my Mum died I was numbed and acting on autopilot for weeks - it takes everyone differently so if you feel like going out n doing stuff then do it - if you dont then dont.

Only other tip is to talk about it as much as you can - even if only on here.

 

[DaGaffer]

Really sorry to hear that Bohds; my condolences. All you can do now is make sure your Mum's OK.

 

[dysfunction]

Hang in there. Don't rush into trying to make yourself feel better.
Only time can make you feel a bit more normal again....

 

[Yoni]

Im very sorry to hear your news Bodhi.. Not a lot I can say except that im sorry. *hugs*

 

[Kryten]

Crap, man. So sorry to hear that. Also got no advice to offer - I think we've all suffered the death of a loved one but when it's direct family it's a hell of a different ball game. It's up to you now to carry on his legacy.
Keep strong fella, and if there's anything any of us can do, perhaps a luser to shout at or what not, feel free

 

[TdC]

Really sorry for your loss Bods. Only thing I can say is live your life and think of your da from time to time mate.

 

[old.user4556]

Fuck.

Bodhi, I am truly sorry to hear about this - feels almost unreal to read it. I don't know what else to say, but I am genuinely ripped inside to hear about this. I hope that time heals.

 

[Jupitus]

Aww fuck, Bods, mate. Keep yer chin up and remember the best times, eh?

*man hugs*

 

[MYstIC G]

Sorry for your loss B. My sincere condolences.

 

[Damini]

Bodhi - no words to make it better. I offer you cyber hugs though.

 

[russell]

Sorry to hear that. I can only imagine how awful it must be. Keep going for your mum -at least you have each other. *big hugs*

 

[old.Tohtori]

Can't remember who wrote it, and can't remember the quote at all, but in the lines of;

"In our darkest hour we can feel comfort in knowing that this is the saddest moment, because from now on the healing begins."

Take care, strength and all the usual.

 

[Embattle]

Wishing you the best in hard times Mr B.

 

[Ch3tan]

Condolences Bodhi, I hope that you find a way to deal with it all.

 

[Kami]

Condolences Bodhi - I haven't been in that position yet but all I can say is do what you please but remember to hang out with your family, it might not be the most cheerful place to be but it's the one that'll help the lot of you the most.

 

[Bodhi]

Thanks for your thoughts everyone they made a very tough time that little bit easier. The past week has been pretty miserable to be fair, mourning, sorting funeral arrangements, sorting out his affairs, looking after people. It would have been even harder if friends and pubs hadn't been invented.

He gets cremated on Monday, I guess thats when it gets really tough.

Thanks again dearies.

 

[Moriath]

Cruse Bereavement Care

good charity that can help