Great for once, yayy

[Gray]

So, the past few years have been a wee-bit topsey turvey for me, specially in regards to girls, confidence and all things prissy. Things were looking up when i met a good friend who seemed to inspire confidence within me and made me set myself a goal to gain confidence and use the confidence to make me a better person..

I started out there [At 19-20] with my new found confidence to hit the gym, and i enjoyed it so much, ended up losing approx 7 stone within the first year and i felt ontop of the world, the fire that was inside me was due to a strong friendship that i had and it was burning feverishly.

Sadly certain things happened and the friendship wasnt the same, and i found out that my confidence wasnt the same either, it kind of took a nasty blow, my gym progress slowed but continued, but due to work restraints [Working 6am-8pm ftl] i found no time, or energy to actually do anything.

I left were i was, and joined my new place, but sadly it seemed like the damage was already done, that flame had since extinguished and i lost heart in everything, and the next year and half wasnt fun.

That was until last month and this month, i met someone who was great, and did give me back confidence which i thought i lost, things where working towards good things, very good things it felt like everything was going right, i could feel something inside of me just wanting to come out and kickstart my gym passion, it didnt come though.

Things where still working out well with me and her, i felt we were close to a possible relationship within a few days/weeks, however she didnt commit to anything saying she wanted to be single for a little bit longer, i was happy to wait, this was the happiest i had ever felt. I was always cautious though, and because i had this caution she thought i didnt trust her, which wasnt true in the slightest.

We went through a bit of a rough patch were things wasnt going according to plan last week, but i knew things would sort themselves out, nothing could go wrong. Sunday come, i was in work rather gutted at everything, i needed time to think things through. She went to the cinema with a mystery person, i dared not think anything of it because would that mean i didnt trust her?

Sunday night came - First thing she tells me is she went to the cinema with someone as friends, and by the end of it they come out as "more than" friends. ie. they are now in a relationship. My world crashed down infront of my face.

I went fucking ballistic at her, i was played along like a fool for so may weeks, giving out my feelings to her and she did that - I had this rage, this anger which was burning deep inside of me something which i didnt have since like, my mum got mugged and stuff, this rage inside of me unleashed something which i had been missing.

I got up, walked out and ended up walking around for a long time, i was knackered, but i just thought of her, and this rage fed me, the hate i had for her made me continue walking, and walking. The flame that i thought which would only reignite when i was truely happy was actually the opposite - It come back due to anger.

The next day [yesterday] i hit the gym for the first time in 2 years, and i was still feeding off this energy. I went on for longer than expected, and by the end of it i was knackered, but i felt great.

Same again today, i never thought to be jilted would actually make me the happiest ive ever been, it feels like a new life is inside of me and i hope i can keep feeding off of it, bring it awwwn fuckerrrs.

Bit longer than i thought it was going to be :'(, wee

 

[TdC]

keep at it Grey, don't let life's nasties grind you down mate.

 

[Tom]

Has she got a sister?

 

[Gray]

Nope! Fraid not thinking about it, so that plan wouldnt work.

And no, she doesnt have a brother either -.-

 

[Tom]

And no, she doesnt have a brother either -.-

Bad luck Trem.

 

[old.user4556]

Probably the most upsetting thing about women, i've felt that pain Gray - you will meet someone one day that will make this whole situation laughable. Keep at it, always believe, never give up.

This is a brilliant cynical look at women and the whole "friends" thing (it might even help!) - http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

My advice is that if anyone ever says "i just want to be friends" or "i'm just out of a relationship, i want to be single" - that's an easy way for them to say "no".

 

[Gray]

Im laughing about it now really, something great has actually come of it, i feel a whole lot better. Ive had them lines ohso many times in the past, although when i was talking about things with her, she never denied anything so i was always given a hope that something good would come of it,

WAIT! something DID come of it! Doh. I seem to be always right though with the caution thing, i was proclaimed as being untrusthworthy when she was talking to this guy behind my back when i didnt even know he existed -.-

 

[pez]

any kind of 'friends' situation whether permenant or temporary with a girl you fancy is a waste of time. Women split men in to 2 groups, friends and potentials. Bet the guy she went to the cinema with she never considered a friend, or good 'friend material'

 

[SAS]

Women are pure evil Gary .

A friend of mine is going through a similar thing. I play pool on Wednesday nights with a few friends and one of them introduced a girl to the group. She's attractive and has a nice personality (rare these days). Initially I thought he was going out with her, but turns out they are "just friends". Over the course of a few pool nights things have got a bit akward between them. I've overheard him saying recently "look you can come over to my place to watch a film or two anytime you know", and "why are you not asking my texts?". Their body language also highlights what is going on, and its clear he likes her a lot but she is only seeing him as a mate.

I feel like saying something, but I've been in situations before like yours Gary and I don't think anyone can say anything to a guy in this situation?

 

[Stimpy]

Half way through that I thought you where going to tell us you had killed the 2nd girl in a rage

 

[old.Tohtori]

*rubs head*

So...she said she wanted to be single for a while...then you said its ok...then she finds a boyfriend...and you go ballistic about it?

What i´m not getting here? Besides booty.

 

[Maljonic]

To be honest it's a bit worrying that you seemed to think you need someone else to qualify your existance, to give you confidence. Externalising your achievments in this way belittles the stuff you actually did on your own, even if someone else was the inspiration for it you are the one that did all the positive stuff.

Anyway it seems that you are doing things for yourself at the moment, which is great, and you have only yourself to be proud of for doing it. I think that once you realise (that's any you, not just you you) that it's possible, and even easy, to survive on your own and do well at it, any future relationships you have will be much better because you'll have more confidence about being just you without fretting too much over whether it will work out or not.

 

[Poag]

Dammit, i know this is a bad thign to say.

but i really wish i hadn't read this thread now not becuase of you Gray. I had something very similar recently blow up in my life, fucked me over real good and reading ur posts just brought it all back up


Never thought about burning off the rage in the gym tho.

/makes a note

 

[ECA]

Hard Gray Desu!

Hooooooooooo!

 

[Calaen]

Ok so you used to need a chick to make you want to go to the gym, but now not having a chick is making you go to the gym. man im confused, wd on the 7 stone lost though, you gotta be better off without it.

 

[Gray]

Toh: Yeah. I went ballistic, she said she didnt want a relationship, this was around 4-5 days before this actual event occuring, so i was expecting her to make a decision on us within a few weeks, not actually go talking to someone behind my back and then give me the news unexpectedly - she expected my trust and she did that -.-.

She is telling me how she is "in love" with this guy at the moment, im here with a huge smile on my face, just pushing her to the limit, just trying to get into an arguement or something, its been a week... so funny.

Mal: Yar, doing this for myself at the moment, ive generally been a person to put other people first, but now im doing this for myself at the moment least then i wont be getting hurt or sidetracked in everything, but yeah... ive always needed some inspiration from somewhere. Rocky movies have been awesome when youre in times of need

Gale: Yeah. Im not an overtly violent person, although did love boxing. Last fist fight i ever had was in school, which was 6 years ago, ive enjoyed the non-violence. During that time things have been building up immensely, bro being in an accident, cat being shot, mum being mugged - but i never really had a way to "release" the anger. The gym was the only place i could think of which would be a good surrounding and it worked out well.

Cal: Wasnt just the bitch who made me want to hit the gym, it was however the straw that broke the camels back in a way and gave me the determination to restart everything through. Im sure i would have went the gym if i was attached, but maybe under different circumstances, i was probably waiting for her to say "yeah Al, im ready for the relationship lets go" so that would have made me sort things out - but it was the complete opposite in the end.

PS

My ankles are so fucked -.- heh

 

[lilmissnaughty]

To be honest it's a bit worrying that you seemed to think you need someone else to qualify your existance, to give you confidence. Externalising your achievments in this way belittles the stuff you actually did on your own, even if someone else was the inspiration for it you are the one that did all the positive stuff.

Anyway it seems that you are doing things for yourself at the moment, which is great, and you have only yourself to be proud of for doing it. I think that once you realise (that's any you, not just you you) that it's possible, and even easy, to survive on your own and do well at it, any future relationships you have will be much better because you'll have more confidence about being just you without fretting too much over whether it will work out or not.

repped that very true tbh. cant live ur life just to make others happy or the only one that wont be happy is u. sounds selfish but u gotta do stuff for urself now an again an the happier in urself u are the more confident u will be. lets face it confidence attracts people, an aura of confidence can change the way a person is viewed by others just from the way it animates ur features.

 

[TdC]

To be honest it's a bit worrying that you seemed to think you need someone else to qualify your existance, to give you confidence. Externalising your achievments in this way belittles the stuff you actually did on your own, even if someone else was the inspiration for it you are the one that did all the positive stuff.

Anyway it seems that you are doing things for yourself at the moment, which is great, and you have only yourself to be proud of for doing it. I think that once you realise (that's any you, not just you you) that it's possible, and even easy, to survive on your own and do well at it, any future relationships you have will be much better because you'll have more confidence about being just you without fretting too much over whether it will work out or not.

um, Grey's done a huge amount of stuff on his own. he's gone and done stuff that he'd only dreamed of doing say, three years ago. I remember him when he was just on the forums (nearly lost due to tdc-beer-inbibing) and I see what he posts about now.

so, before I get accused of Grey coddling, you're doing fine mate. keep at it. sometimes life deals you three rounds of shite in a row, sometimes only one, but every time you get back up and stare the fuckers right in the eye.

 

[Lester]

wd on the 7 stone lost though, you gotta be better off without it.

Not really, he was only 8st to begin with...

 

[Poag]

She is telling me how she is "in love" with this guy at the moment, im here with a huge smile on my face, just pushing her to the limit, just trying to get into an arguement or something, its been a week... so funny.

Jesus, i think it might be the same girl.

She was telling me all this just after she told me, about him being the one, hes perfect.

Now in the last few weeks shes telling me all her doubts about him, so i'm sat here, big grin on my face resisting the urge to say "I told you so", told her at the time he was after one thing, but she didn't believe me.

Strange situ, she does actually live overseas, from both me and the other guy [whom i also know].

Strange how thigns can go from "I'm sure hes right for me and nothing you can say will cahnge my mind" to "I have strong doubts about him now, i'm not sure what to do"


Sadest thign is I know nothign can ever happen between us now, but i still do not want to see her get hurt again, and its like an out of control train barreling along towards it atm

 

[Tom]

Well done to you Gray, but remember I'd still own you unscoped on fy_pool

 

[itcheh]

Don't go looking for a 'friend' that will turn into a girlfriend ... it never works like that ...

If you like a girl, go for it - ask her out, spend time with her and make it clear you are interested in her ... not in a new friendship.

DO NOT GIVE HER THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT THINGS ... she will just go down the friend route and you are shafted.

Go into these situations with a 'not that bothered if it doesn't work out' frame of mind (even if it's not true - just work hard to convince yourself).

Do not bend over backwards for her - be blase, be nice to her the one minute then take the piss the next.

Only be gentlemanly and chivilrous and a nice person ONCE you are going out with them.

All this I have had to learn the hard way.

 

[itcheh]

... one final related post ...

Gray - learn to love yourself (not in the Trem sense of the phrase) - go to the gym because you want to do it for you, to feel good about yourself, because it benefits you - not because you are doing it for some bit of fuzz.

 

[Whipped]

This is a brilliant cynical look at women and the whole "friends" thing (it might even help!) - http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

Damn, that Cuddle Bitches thing really hit it home for me with someone i used to like

 

[Gray]

Gale: I cared for her muchly, now i feel nothing for her. Hurt or otherwise. Im just waiting for it to make my day, how i seem to have adopted a cruel uncaring side for her and only her, dont know...

That final comment you put down did bring it back to me too, i recall before she told me about this new relationship, a text in the afternoon from her said "nah you dont. NOTHING will ever happen now" < Her actual quote. i obviously know why now mind. -.-

Tom: Aint played CS in aaaages, did play it a few weeks back after a year out and found i was still decent. Wooo. Will own you again yesyes

Itch: Will have to see this Saturday since im out again, fun to see what i can conjure up ;o

 

[throdgrain]

Youre all lonely bloody ugly geeks with no knowledge of women, which is why like whining puppys you latch onto random women and sit there waiting to have your poor lickle hearts all bwoken

 

[TdC]

Youre all lonely bloody ugly geeks with no knowledge of women, which is why like whining puppys you latch onto random women and sit there waiting to have your poor lickle hearts all bwoken

I'm still hoping for that hot babe who can argue with flair and verve for one unix against another, sporting long blonde hair, bootyfull boobage, hobbies being programming, reading poetry to me while she feeds me grapes whilst my head rests in her lap as I pretend to listen whilst secretly am just watching the motions of her nekkid boobage, urban assault biking and having mad se><or with me.


*waits*

 

[throdgrain]

Now you got to wait ...

 

[old.user4556]

Now in the last few weeks shes telling me all her doubts about him, so i'm sat here, big grin on my face resisting the urge to say "I told you so", told her at the time he was after one thing, but she didn't believe me.

I hate to break it to you, but every single heterosexual man that has walked planet earth since the stone age has wanted to be with a woman for one thing only: sex. Some men can spin intricate deceit and bullshit about why they like a woman, but the main reason is that all men want to stick their cocks inside a woman.

Yes, sex alone doesn't create a stable and mature relationship, but an abstaning woman with an excellent personality won't create a stable relationship either.

I went after my current girlfriend because she had a tight ass, nice tits and a pretty face and I wanted to pump her. We've been together five years now, and I still feel the same way - but we have a strong love bond now.

Women who advise other women that "men only want one thing" can fuck off in my opinion, it takes two people to have sex - and if it's consensual sex what's the fucking problem? And by the way, i've met girls in my life time who wanted a foolish one night stand and never wanted to date me after, so it works in both directions.

 

[Poag]

Ah no Big G...i knew he was after that, hell me too if he was just after sex i would not have an issue with him.

but he was also after somethign else, ok i maybe 22, but i am not that nieve[sp] but yeah i do now see that it was a bad choice of words to go in that line...hrrm..i can't really think of another way to say it wihtout saying what he was actually after.

Whihc is bascially just someone too leech off, spend all there money, get them in debt and then leave them. Shes just had the same problem with her last ex, and is only just pulling herself out of that dept through alot of hard work.

And by the way, i've met girls in my life time who wanted a foolish one night stand and never wanted to date me after, so it works in both directions.

Also met a fair few like that,met a girl just recently who i get on like a house on fire with who has a small army of fuck buddies who come and service her each month, she likes it... go her