Good American story !

T

throdgrain

Guest
My freinds sister works at Gatwick airport. Some american tourists going home come to check in. "Did you enjoy your stay in England? " says my m8's sis. "yes says the lady american. "one thing" she says " why do your road crossings beep?"
"oh, to let blind people know the lights are red" says sis.
"really? " says the american "in the states we dont let blind people drive."
Nuff said :)
 
X

xane

Guest
then why do the American drive-thru cash machines have braille printed on the keys ?
 
F

FatBusinessman

Guest
Apparently, some (English) friends of my family went on holiday to America, where they were told:

"You speak very good English, but you aren't Americans. Where are you from?"

This really tells you all you need to know about Americans.
 
S

Scouse

Guest
GENUINE stories:
_____________________________________________________
Girl in Diner: "You speak really good English - where are you from?"

Me (YES ME!!): "England"

Girl in Diner: "Really?! Do you speak English in England?"

Me and m8 proceed to spew coffee/hamburger all over the place......
_____________________________________________________


I've a friend who went over and was asked if England was anywhere near "London".
_____________________________________________________


I was asked what the "sanitary conditions" were like in Europe - do we have running water and the like......

When I said (sarcastically) that England definately did, but I wasn't sure about the French or Germans he:

a) Believed me, and;

b) Asked how the "European Government" could let one state have running water and not another state........!!!!!


Needless to say I told him in no uncertain terms that he was a "cunt", should "get out more", perhaps should have attended "school" and should stop "fucking his sister"...... :D
 
D

Damini

Guest
When I was travelling in America on the Greyhound bus, we stopped at some little middle of desert style shop to stretch our legs etc... And some american guy came up to me (sans my friend who was inside the shop) and we had the following exchange;

Yokel: Are you from London?

Me: No, I'm from West Sussex.

Yokel: London is in Paris.

Me: Erm... No. London is in England, Paris is in France, and I'm from West Sussex.

Then my friend Becky came out, and got treated to the same series of statements. All of this wouldn't *really* be all that worthy of note, except...

He then proceeds to offer me some sunflower seeds to eat. Now, I'm not a great grazer on all things healthy, never eaten them before, but I think, you know, bless, little lead paint licker man wants to share, so be kind to the natives. As you do. So I smilingly grab a handful and chew in an attempted grateful manner. And he bursts out laughing.

Yokel: Most people take off the shells first!!!




Indeed. They probably do that because the shell shrapnel is like swallowing a handful of gravel, and your mouth is irreplably damaged by minitaure shell splinters. So the moral of this story is that although some americans can be mind blowingly dumb, they can remove the shells from seeds. Just like parrots.

Or you can choose your own moral.
 
M

Munkey-

Guest
*snigger* *snigger*

moral: dont eat seed. it may taste funny

*snigger* *snigger*
 
P

PR.

Guest
Is there anything Damini hasn't done and experienced? :)

*bows to the worldly wise Damini*
 
S

Summo

Guest
I bet she's never attempted to wee on the ceiling.
 
D

Daffeh

Guest
Originally posted by SomeGuy
I bet she's never attempted to wee on the ceiling.
Click to expand...

if i was a betting man id take u on with that bet :)

hang on a mo, i am a betting man :)




come on Damini, win my bet for me :)
 
D

Damini

Guest
Sorry Daf. Next time I get drunk I shall endevour to win that bet for you though.
 
M

Munkey-

Guest
go damini!!!!!!!!!!

who somehow managed to survive everything


ah well
 
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