A
angrysquirrel
Guest
go on, someone say something to unbore me.
S
saltymcpepper
Guest
- Thread starter
- #2
GET THAT COFFIN DODGER ON THE RIGHT ROYYYYYYYYYYYY.
PROPER JOB!!!!!!!!
PROPER JOB!!!!!!!!
A
angrysquirrel
Guest
- Thread starter
- #3
nearly.
i saw a badger chase a dog once. the train killed them both, it was horrific you know. the driver of train committed suicide that night when he found out that his wife was going to leave him for the office junior. the office juniors flat mate had a drug problem but his parents didnt mind. poor badger
i saw a badger chase a dog once. the train killed them both, it was horrific you know. the driver of train committed suicide that night when he found out that his wife was going to leave him for the office junior. the office juniors flat mate had a drug problem but his parents didnt mind. poor badger
P
pointless
Guest
- Thread starter
- #4
stop spaming and go to bed.
there thread closed.
there thread closed.
D
-Dreama-
Guest
- Thread starter
- #5
I saw a badger once too.
B
blem
Guest
- Thread starter
- #6
i dont think i have seen a badger IRL, but i have seen a bear not in captivity
G
Groom2
Guest
- Thread starter
- #7
What is a Badger?
D
-Dreama-
Guest
- Thread starter
- #9
when I was kid, the local zoo had a bear, and it was a smal zoo, and you could reach in the bars and pet the bear, it was old and stuff. I used to feed it Lifesavers candy. and sometimes when the bear got bored, it would touch himself, you know what I mean! It was really yukky when I was 5, but I laughed a lot when I was 12, and at 24, I just think, you go Mr. Bear, get your groove on!
ok, that's my bear story. I miss that bear, he was cool!
ok, that's my bear story. I miss that bear, he was cool!
E
Exiled
Guest
- Thread starter
- #10
hm, over playful bear, in NWN if your a ranger you can summon a badger, they look like rugs wtih feet,
N
-Nuked-
Guest
- Thread starter
- #11
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a
>bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and
>begins to talk.
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "Hello."
> > > >
> > > >WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "Yes."
> > > >
> > > >WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat.
>It's only $1,000. Is it okay if I buy it?"
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
> > > >
> > > >WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2003 models. I saw one I really liked."
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "How much?"
> > > >
> > > >WOMAN: "$60,000"
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options."
> > > >
> > > >WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing, the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer
> > > >$900,000."
> > > >
> > > >WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
> > > >
> > > >The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
> > > >
> > > >Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
>bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and
>begins to talk.
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "Hello."
> > > >
> > > >WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "Yes."
> > > >
> > > >WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat.
>It's only $1,000. Is it okay if I buy it?"
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
> > > >
> > > >WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2003 models. I saw one I really liked."
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "How much?"
> > > >
> > > >WOMAN: "$60,000"
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options."
> > > >
> > > >WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing, the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer
> > > >$900,000."
> > > >
> > > >WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
> > > >
> > > >MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
> > > >
> > > >The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
> > > >
> > > >Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
K
Kobold
Guest
- Thread starter
- #12
haha poor owner of the phone
F
Faeldawn
Guest
- Thread starter
- #13
A man walks into a bar with a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist........... oh, best not tell that one :uhoh:
P
Pocyourhontas
Guest
- Thread starter
- #14
Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his mates.
Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
It is ok for a man to cry under the following Circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth
Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.
On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.
Only in situations of Moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.
Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean.
If you complement a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a Mate of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.
It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
Thou shalt not buy a car with an engine capacity of less than 1.5 litres. Thou shall not really buy a car with less than 1.8 litres, 16 valves, and a turbo. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a Playstation 2. End of story.
Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
It is ok for a man to cry under the following Circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth
Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.
On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.
Only in situations of Moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.
Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean.
If you complement a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a Mate of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.
It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
Thou shalt not buy a car with an engine capacity of less than 1.5 litres. Thou shall not really buy a car with less than 1.8 litres, 16 valves, and a turbo. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a Playstation 2. End of story.
G
Galiryn
Guest
- Thread starter
- #15
:lol:
irl
D
dorfs
Guest
- Thread starter
- #16
the one with the fone was one of the funniest thing's ive ever read :lol:
keep em comming
keep em comming