Forgiveness and second chances...

[Imgormiel]

What's your take? Should we ban both forgiveness and second chances? Seems to me that both are subject to obsessive abuse and that we are so hollow in expecting both that we don't really give a shit. So why even care or bother to want ask for either?

I have levels of things on this matter, but when it comes to crossing the line you must never cross. I am pretty much totalitarian and there is no point of return in my book.

/Discuss

 

[Bahumat]

It's something you judge per incident. I do not believe there can be a "one suit fits all".

 

[old.Tohtori]

*looks at can of worms*

POP!

There we go!

Ok. I tend to go by this rule;

If it's an accident, it's ok.
If it's an accident that causes a LOT of trouble, time, then ok.
If it's meant to hurt me, f*ck off.
If it's meant to hurt and causes lot of trouble, not pretty.

In essence; did you mean to do that?

 

[Imgormiel]

It's something you judge per incident. I do not believe there can be a "one suit fits all".

Yeah, it is subjective. But that line I have is for me is pretty much 'one suit fits all' as it gets that certain non-violent but angry treatment along with the cold stuff .....

I am fortunate in that I can just walk away from something and then let it rot and not care about it. Some people just can't do that - thus the totalitarian attitude - which sadly stems from my father.

I was discussing totalitarian views with a friend on Sunday and how the relationship with my deceased dad and his views have transferred to mine in some ways. And she was questioning how I would change that with my own children - if I had any Would my views change? No. But would I let that totalitarianism transfer to them. Well my take is that at least I would bother to explain why my views on certain things are the way that they are and then let them decide on how they would deal with those areas of their own lives. I am open to criticism. Something my father was not.

Any way, carry on, I might learn something here.

 

[old.Tohtori]

It's hard to say Imgor, i'd ahve to know your level of "first strike" rules.

Say your GF of two years kissed someone? Over and done?
Say she f*cks the janitor in the closet after she said she would?
Say she drops, while cleaning, your mothers ashes on the floor?

First one would have to know the level of your tolerance, before saying if they think your "no second chance!" is ok or not

*rubs head*

Psychology babble...ow...i really shouldn't.

 

[Imgormiel]

It's hard to say Imgor, i'd ahve to know your level of "first strike" rules.

Say your GF of two years kissed someone? Over and done?
Say she f*cks the janitor in the closet after she said she would?
Say she drops, while cleaning, your mothers ashes on the floor?

First one would have to know the level of your tolerance, before saying if they think your "no second chance!" is ok or not

*rubs head*

Psychology babble...ow...i really shouldn't.

Why does it matter about mine? I wanna know yours. After all I already explained my position, it shouldn't be for you to know my rules. If you respect me as a person in my book you wouldn't even go there in the first place to even want to understand or try even break them.

On topic. It's more about the two points I made in the first post and how they affect you and do you really care for forgiveness, to give it or receive it? People make such a big deal of this second chance thing when really it does or means nothing. Go ahead, say it

 

[Imgormiel]

*looks at can of worms*

POP!

There we go!

Ok. I tend to go by this rule;

If it's an accident, it's ok.
If it's an accident that causes a LOT of trouble, time, then ok.
If it's meant to hurt me, f*ck off.
If it's meant to hurt and causes lot of trouble, not pretty.

In essence; did you mean to do that?

Sorta yeah, but you are missing on the belief of what you think of the idea of forgiveness in today's society and why people make an emphasis on second chances too. Ok you don't have to explain your view on that if you don't want to But it's there if people do

 

[old.Tohtori]

Why does it matter about mine? I wanna know yours. After all I already explained my position, it shouldn't be for you to know my rules. If you respect me as a person in my book you wouldn't even go there in the first place to even want to understand or try even break them.

I'm not trying to brek them, just understand. If you took offense, i apologize (ironic i think )

Just that it helps to find the ground you're basing this discussion on. You know? In simple terms; it's easier to agree or disagree on the subject of "is forgiveness given too easy?", as i understood it, when you know what is "unacceptable" in your book.

Sorta yeah, but you are missing on the belief of what you think of the idea of forgiveness in today's society and why people make an emphasis on second chances too. Ok you don't have to explain your view on that if you don't want to But it's there if people do

I thought i did.

It's subjectional to intent, person and the level of offense.

Sometimes people forgive things that i would have a harder time forgiving, but it's not up to me to state an ultimatum on that.

I believe it's a double-barreled shotgun. You can be too forgiving, but on the same notion, you can be too strict about it.

Forgiveness brings peace though, so if the choices are that noone is forgiven, or that everyone is forgiven...well...that makes it a hard choice.

 

[Imgormiel]

I'm not trying to brek them, just understand. If you took offense, i apologize (ironic i think )

.

LOL! no that's just one of my general rules, you misunderstood me - none taken Anyway I am gonna shut up on this for now till others have something worthwhile to comment on

 

[Calaen]

I guess you can never really tell how you would react until something happens to you.

You can guess but feelings, emotions and I suppose I could add sexual philosophy play a huge part.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I guess you can never really tell how you would react until something happens to you.

You can guess but feelings, emotions and I suppose I could add sexual philosophy play a huge part.

I'll just add time of day for men and time of month for women

 

[Ezteq]

fuck ups are different from hurts (and tbh we all do both) and hurts have various levels, there are accedental ones, unthinking ones, purposeful ones and repeat hurts. I think in essence it is a case of every situation should be treated individually and second chances are fine...

it's the people who don't learn and keep doing repeat hurts that piss me off and they deserve no more chances, that is my take on it.

 

[tris-]

Case by case. But sometimes you may forgive on the outside, but at the back of your head you havent really. IME at least.

 

[Garaen]

I'm very unforgiving tbh, I consider it a sign of weakness to forgive someone unless it was an accident.

 

[Sparx]

Generally i find if it was a genuine accident then you cant really hold blame, as it was an accident. If it was calculated then i find it hard to forgive