Festive Recipe

[JingleBells]

Here is a nice Festive Recipe for you all to try:

Christmas Fruit Cake

Ingredients
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
1 cup brown sugar
8 oz nuts
juice of 1 lemon
1 bottle whisky

Method
Sample the whisky to check for quality
Take a large bowl and sample the whisky again. To be sure it is of the
highest quality, pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat one butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1tsp
sugar and beat again, alternatively omit the repeat check of the whisky and
remember to add the sugar at the same time as the butter. Make sure the
whisky is still OK. Cry another tup.
Turn off the mixerer. Break 2 eggs. Try and break the eggs in the bowl and
chuck in the fried druit (If you missed the bowl with the first 2 eggs use the
other 2) Try and find the water and the baking powder. Do not drink the
water...... use whisky instead. Mix on the turnerer. If the fried druit gets stick
to the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriber or something.
Sample the whisky to test for tonsisticity
Sift 2 cups of salt or something, who cares, just don't put it in the bowl
Check the whisky
Sift the lemon and strain your nuts. Add 1 tablespoon. Of sugar or
something.
Whatever you can find
Grease the oven and turn the cake tin 350 degrees
Don't forget to beat off the turnerer. Throw the bowl out of the window and
make sure the whisky bottle is empty. Go to bed.
Next day fo to M & S and buy a cake.

 

[Sydrik]

Alternative

1.) Go to Tesco
2.) Buy cake
3.) Eat cake

(nb: cake can be replaced with pie, fruit something, infact any desert (trifle JBP ))

 

[Athan]

Given the point of the 'recipe' I think you can safely just buy the bottle of Whisky.

-Ath

 

[Mazling]

For a longer lasting effect, try beating yourself in the head with a brick wall.
(note: unconfirmed reports/feedback suggest bringing your head to the wall - rather than the opposite - may be easier)