Fellowship of the Ring takes place in DAoC

Brannor McThife

Fledgling Freddie
Dec 30, 2003
Now I can't remember if this has been done before, and if it has, well poop.

The tale begins with a flashback to when the lowbie kobold Bilbo Baggins is trying to to get home to Gna Faste from Svasud Faste, when he accidently stumbled into Nisse's Lair. While trying to find his way out, he comes across Teh Ring that Nisse dropped and puts it in his pocket and wanders out.

Nisse is promptly zerged by his underlings who realise that he no longer has Teh Ring.

[Present Day]
Bilbo is retiring and needs to pass on some of his loot, but wants to take Teh Ring with him. Gand3lf, an Avalonian Firewiz that "got lost in the forest and ended up inside the Midgard inner-realm" tells him he can't take it with him when he quits, and that he, Gand3lf, will hold onto it for him. Gand3lf was planning to wear Teh Ring, but found he can't wear it as it doesn't match his realm, so Gand3lf decides to find some lowbie alts in Bilbo's guild and have them look after Teh Ring.

He sees these 2 n00bs wanderring around, called Frodo and Sam, and they keep getting ganked by wee wolves. He gives Teh Ring to the one called Frodo, and tells him not to wear it till it turns red - but since it's a level 100 ring, he hopes Frodo will never try it on.

Gand3lf rides off to Camelot and searches the catacombs for some ancient scroll. He finds some reference in a .doc file to Teh Ring and rushes back to see what Frodo's been up to. He tells Frodo to SHIFT-D the ring in the fire, but it respawns in Frodo's inventory. Gand3lf is now certain that it is really Teh Ring. He tells Frodo and Same to go see the Elves in Cruachon Gorge, he'll join them later.

Gand3lf decides to go speak to the Gothi's in Svasud Faste, but when he arrives, he finds Kemor waiting for him. He is promtply suspended for 3 days and has to use his whit and guile to escape further punishment.

On their way, Frodo and Sam run into these other two n00bs - Merry and Pippin - running for their lives from the Svartalfs they keep trying to steal from and they decide to form a group and maybe they won't keep getting ganked and maybe finally get past level 5.

While they're wanderring through Mirkwood Frodo realises that there might be a stealther stalking them, so they hide behind a tree and watch as a Nazgul stops to take a leak against a tree. They make a run for the river, and only just miss getting zerged by the Nazgul who spammed /y .

After the river, they make it into the forest, where they find a Sylvan anamist who's passing the time soloing. He helps them through the forest with a few song and dance routines.

They get to the Prancing Pony and find that the place is full of Firbolg's, so they're a bit weary. There they meet Str1der, a Celt Ranger, who tells them about the Nazgul and let's them share his room for the night.
During the night, the Nazgul zerg the inn, and try to grey-gank the kobolds in their sleep. After spamming /y they find the beds they just killed only dropped a bunch of Bag of Feathers, so they leave.

After they leave the inn, they head into the Barrow Downs, and after wonderring into a (level 45+) dungeon, they find themselves in a bad spot, when the Anamist - Tom - comes to their aid and they get away - not with grabbing a few purple-con swords. They camp out in some ruins, but make too much noise and the Nazgul find them. As the swords are purple-con, the
kobolds struggle to fight and Frodo gets DoT'd by one of the Nazgul. Str1der, who was off getting buffed by his bot, returns to Critshot them all and they run off.

But, since Str1ders buffbot can't heal, won't heal, they have to hope they can get to Cruachon Gorge and the elves, before the DoT kills Frodo. On the way, they run into Str1ders hot Female toon lover (47 year old Cobol programmer) and there is much /c between the two of them, with a few /emote's going off. The female toon, Arwen, is a bard, and she'll user her speedsong to get Frodo there quick. But she is ambush by the Zerging Nazgul. She runs as fast as she can, resisting mezz's and roots, and gets to Cruachon Gorge, where she taunts the Nazgul until one of them gets too close and the entire division of guards at the keep rush out and slaughter the Nazgul, who had forgotten to /bind nearby, and /released to find themselves
in Mordor.

Frodo awakes to find that Cruachon is filled with people /lfg. After an /a discussion, it is decided that a bigger party be formed and they head South to Mordor to SHIFT-D the Teh Ring once and for all.

Along the way, G1mly, a dwarf warrior, Son of Jon, shows the kobolds how to use their weapons, and PL's them a bit. They try to go through a mountain pass, but Kemor crashes the zone, and they have to turn back. They head to the Mines of Moriah but struggle to find the entrance, before Frodo accidently leans on a lever none of them had seen. Once inside, Frodo notices that there's a small Lurikeen called Gollum leeching off them. Gand3lf says he's been doing that for ages, but that he's not leeching enough for anyone to really notice. While searching the place for lewt, Merry wonders into a pygmy golbin scout, who calls for help and BAF's an army. After the first fight, they rebuff and decide to make a run for the exit. They get spotted by more scouts, and even more try to zerg them, but they are scared off when they hear ol' grumpy (a.k.a. Balrog) heading their way, and they don't like his AE nukes.

They make it to other side of the bridge, but Gand3lf, wanting to show how uber he is, decides to solo the Balrog, which turns out to be Zargar. Zargar suspends Gand3lf for cross-realming, and he is no more.

The other 8 in the party run off into the hillsand then into Loth Lorien, but get ambushed by some NPC elves, who escort them to the lady of the Forest. Gimly figured it was some EVENT as he'd never seen this quest before. She gives them a ton of uniques and buffs them all. They travel down the river, and after passing through a few zones, figure it's time to find a good camp spot for some good XP. However, the spot they picked, was right in the middle of an Urukhai spawn that had been cleared by a passing necro who was bored. Boromir tries to attack Frodo, but finds since they're in the same party, he can't /duel him. Frodo stealths and hides. Aragorn, who claims to be Str1ders alt, arrives in time to see the first of the Urukhai start to spawn. He fights while Frodo runs away. Merry and Pippin fight alongside Boromir, who eventually gets zerged. Sam comes back from being /AFK and realises that he was the groups only healer, and decides to /disband and run off after Frodo.

Ok, ok, I just wrote this this morning...so not the best...but hope it amuses someone.




Fledgling Freddie
Jan 2, 2004
Nice! Maybe Arwen should be a minstrel so she can sos past the Nazgul.

There is an earlier one done as a chat.log, it's floated around before but still here it is.

Group] Frodo: WTF? Where's the Dwarf King?
[Group] Aragorn: Guess he hasn't popped.
[Group] Merry: Wanna biscuit!
[Group] Gandalf: STFU Merry.
[Group] Frodo: Seriously, there's no Dwarves anywhere. WTF?
[Group] Samwise: Hey a goblin! I didn't know they popped here.
[Group] Frodo: What con?
[Group] Samwise: Blue to me.
[Group] Merry: Pulling...
[Group] Frodo: No! They add!
[Group] Samwise: inc 2
[Group] Samwise: Make that 6.
[Group] Gandalf: More like 20.
[Group] Aragorn: @#%$! Try to get to the zone point!
[Group] Gandalf: On me!
[Group] Aragorn: Tanking 4.
[Group] Galdalf: ON ME DAMMIT!
[Group] Merry: Weee!
[Group] Frodo: Sprint!
[Group] Aragorn: Frodo, Give Gandalf the ring. He can use it to get away then come back and res maybe.
[Group] Frodo: Trade bugged.
[Group] Aragorn: Trade bugged my ass, you just don't want to give it up. Hand it over!
[Group] Frodo: NO! IT'S PRECIOUS!
[Group] Gandalf: Balrog add!
Gandalf kills the Balrog!
Gandalf has just been killed by a Balrog!
[Group] Aragorn: Merry you idiot!
[Group] Frodo: Zoned safely.


[Group] Frodo: Jesus what a pain!
[Group] Samwise: I know.
[Group] Frodo: How many orc adds did we get there?
[Group] Aragorn: About 25 or so.
[Group] Frodo: Where is everyone?
[Group] Samwise: I'm right next to you.
[Group] Boromir: I released. gl guys. Logging.
[Group] Aragorn: Leg, Gimli and I are all together. Where are you guys?
[Group] Legolas: Gandalf never came back after going LD.
[Group] Frodo: Merry? Pippin?
Aragorn sends "WTF? Don't get Merry back, the guy is a moron!"
You send "WTF am I supposed to do? He's still in the grp. He's gonna want to get back with us." to Aragorn
[Group] Merry: Biscuit!
[Group] Pippin: We're surrounded by aggro Orcs. Can't move.
[Group] Frodo: We'll come get you.
[Group] Aragorn: Once we find each other lol.
[Group] Samwise: This is stupid. We're all spread out.
[Group] Legolas: I'm out of arrows. Can we head back to town first?
[Group] Frodo: You idiot. Why didn't you bring enough?
[Group] Legolas: WTF? We were supposed to get on the boat and go down the river. What did I need arrows for?
[Group] Frodo: Gee, I don't know. Maybe cuz you're a RANGER!
[Group] Legolas: Up yours.
[Group] Aragorn: Guys... dont' argue...
[Group] Legolas: Hey, at least I specced my bow. Better than your blade-specced ass.
[Group] Aragorn: Well at least *I* didn't get rid of my Archer's Bracer just to get a +CHA item.
[Group] Legolas: Well, I gotta look good, you know.
[Group] Aragorn: I hate it when people gimp themselves for roleplay purposes. WTF is up with that!?
[Group] Pippin: These orcs are coming a bit closer now.
[Group] Merry: Should I pull one?
[Group] Pippin: If you do, I'll disband and run, you imbecile.
[Group] Merry: Biscuit!
[Group] Gimli: we r ub3r. we shld hunt more.
[Group] Frodo: Gawd I hate leet.
[Group] Gimli: i m w4y mor3 lee+ th4n joo.
[Group] Legolas: Hey, I LIKE having a high CHA. It's important.
[Group] Aragorn: For what!? You're a RANGER. You're a god damn CHA specced RANGER!
[Group] Pippin: /gu god I'm with a stupid group.
[Group] Frodo: ...
[Group] Pippin: mistell
[Group] Aragorn: Look. Let's all just meet up. Frodo what's your loc.
[Group] Frodo: Lets split up and form individual groups. I think that might be best.
[Group] Gimli: d3wd... we all h4ve tha same quest! Why split?
[Group] Legolas: I mean, what's the point of not being pretty?
[Group] Merry: Pulling! Wee!
[Group] Pippin: God dammit, Merry!
[Group] Aragorn: Well, you might hit things once in a while, Legolas.
[Group] Legolas: WTF are you talking about? I hit every time!
[Group] Aragorn: Yeah, but you got lucky.
[Group] Legolas: To hell I did! And speaking of gimping yourself what's up with being a human Ranger? Rangers need qui and dex, you know.
[Group] Aragorn: I'm blade specced. I needed the CON more.
[Group] Legolas: And don't even start with me on over-roleplaying. We were all ready to go and you were busy RPing with that elf champ chick back in town.
[Group] Aragorn: Dude. Arwen is my eternal lover.
[Group] Legolas: We didn't have room to group her. Say no and move on. RP on your own time, dude.
[Group] Frodo: Oh to hell with it. I'm logging till the next movie.
Frodo has left the group.

You have entered Orc Infested Forest.
No monster Target in range.
No monster Target in range.
No monster Target in range.
No monster Target in range.
Members of Fellowship of the Ring currently online:
1. Frodo the Level 1 Stalker in Orc Invested Forest
2. Legolas the Level 23 Ranger in Rivendale
[Guild] Frodo: Hey, Leg. Wanna work on the quest?
[Guild] Legolas: Can't. Busy.
[Guild] Frodo: Busy doing what?
[Guild] Legolas: Looking at myself in a mirror.
[Guild] Frodo: Right. Of course.
Your friend, Merry, has just entered the game.
You have removed Merry from your friends list.
[Guild] Merry: Biscuit!
You must wait 20 seconds to quit. Stand or tyoe /quit to cancel.
[Guild] Merry: Need res.
[Guild] Legolas: Serves you right, you jerkoff.
[Guild] Merry: Frodo! Wanna hunt?
You will quit in 15 seconds.
You send "Frodo is currently AFK." to Merry.
Merry sends "Come on, I need PLing! Biscuit!"
You will quit in 10 seconds.
You send "No, dude. You always pull purples an get us killed." to Merry
Merry sends "Come on! Pweeeze?"
You send "Well, ok. Meet me at the top of Mount doom. I'm going /anon for now. But I'll be there. Just wait for me." to Merry.
Merry sends "Yay! omw."
You will quit in 5 seconds.
[logged out]

Brannor McThife

Fledgling Freddie
Dec 30, 2003
Yeah Krill, I remember that one now. Must be what inspired me to write mine. :)



Fledgling Freddie
Jan 7, 2004
Nice one guys, is there no getting away from either of you :p


Fledgling Freddie
Dec 22, 2003
hehe great one Bran ^^ Small note though, Barrow Downs happens before Bree and the meeting with Str1der iirc. After Bree comes Weathertop where Str1der wtfpwns the zergfil Nazguls ;)


Fledgling Freddie
Jan 1, 2004
Brannor McThife said:
...gets to Cruachon Gorge, where she taunts the Nazgul until one of them gets too close and the entire division of guards at the keep rush out and slaughter the Nazgul, who had forgotten to /bind nearby, and /released to find themselves
in Mordor.




Fledgling Freddie
Dec 23, 2003
Iraq DAoC Style (OLD)

:clap: Krill that was so fucking funny, did you write that one? I LOVE that kinda stuff. There's another really old one in that style...

US: Ok, putting together raid group for Iraq raid... who's in?

Turkey: Only if someone makes me new armor. Last Iraq raid I lost

US: How much you need?

Turkey: 6billion Plat.

US: WTF?! You're not building the armor out of platinum, ya tard...no frikking way.

Turkey: Yes I am actually and I wanna get it Imbued...

US: 3billion plat, and that's all I'm offering.

Turkey: Sweet. Ok, I'm in.

Spain: I frikking hate Iraq. They were camped at our keep for frikking
EVER, man--long time ago, but still pissed off about it. Meet you at Turkish keep.

US: Cool, thx.

Italy: Me 2

Chile: I'm in.

US: Ok, so far, got US, Turks, Spain, Italy, Chile.

Bulgaria: Umm, got room for some lowbies? Thought maybe we could leech
some xp.

US: Yeah, sure. Why not. Just don't attack anything. Set up a /assist
US macro, ok?

France: Hey all, what's up?

US: Putting together a raid, hitting Iraq.

France: No frikking way, dood. Look, I'm part of Alliance leadership,
and I say no way do we go in there. I'm using Alliance veto.

US: WTF? Alliance Veto?

France: Yeah, it's in Alliance charter. Me, Germany, US, Russia, and
China can all cancel any Alliance raid event.

Bulgaria: Hey, me and the other Eastern Europeans wanna go...

France: STFU, n00b. Your guild got no say in this.

Bulgaria: ,,!,,

Germany: I don't really want to go either.

US: ...

France: Yeah, we veto. No guildies go to Iraq.

US: What about you, Russia.

Russia: Well, if everyone else goes, it's ok, but if France and
Germany say no, then that's cool.

US: Jeezus. Dood, show some balls. You used to love going on raids.

Russia: Yeah, but that Afghanistan raid a while back was a disaster. Total group wipe-out.

US: Yeah, but you were in different alliance, man. This is different.Besides, we pwn3d last time we went on Iraq raid.

France: Doesn't matter. I say no.

Spain: .tell US doesn't matter if they don't go anyway, France just
gives up anytime he sees any combat anyway. He's a bu77munch. Lives next
door to me.

Spain: Oops. MT.

France: Oh yeah? Well you skipped that WWII raid completely.

Spain: Only cuz I'd just come back from dueling, was too tired to RvR.Besides, you died in first wave, spent the rest of the raid licking dirt and whining.

France: ..!..

US: Guys, c'mon. I'm trying to put this thing together, here... look, I don't care what France says. I'm going, and anyone who wants to come with me can. China, you in?

China: *shrug* Don't feel like it.

US: Ok...

North Korea has challenged you to a duel! Type /duel accept to accept
or /duel decline to decline the challenge.

/duel decline

North Korea tells you: "Dood u r teh suq. I will r0xxorz u"

You tell North Korea: No thanks, guy. Trying to get an RvR raid going.

North Korea tells you: "Ur just scaerd of teh pwnage"

You tell North Korea: Riiiigh. STFU, okay? I'm busy

North Korea taunts you.

/ignore North Korea.

US: How come you're not coming, Germany?

Germany: I'm just not into the violence anymore.

You tell Germany: Bulls***, you're just waiting for us to go into Iraq so you can gank France again.

Germany tells you: Ooops. *blush* busted!!

You tell Germany: Dude, why bother? He's gray to you.

Germany tells you: It's just satisfying, I guess. It shuts him up for a while, anyway.

France: I'm telling you, if anyone goes, then it'll break the Alliance.

Spain tells you: Whoop-de-s***, this Alliance sucks anyway. Let's go anyways.

US: France, WTF is ur problem?

France:I want to send scouts in, first. Let them see if there's any
reason to go in.

US: Ok, how long it gonna take them?

France: Couple weeks, maybe. Months, possibly.

US: MONTHS? WTF???! Dude, I don't want to wait that long. I'll give your
scouts a week, at most. We'll reschedule then.

France: I may veto anyway.

US: Yeah, whatever.

/tell Spain yeah, may have to. He's a dips***.

United Kingdom tells you: Dude, I'm in... where u want me? I got
stealths watching the Iraq Mile Gates.

Bulgaria tells you: If you go, let me know. Me and my lowbie buddies
are in.

You tell Bulgaria: Cool, thx. Are you someone's ALT?

Bulgaria tells you: Some of us were Russia's buffbots, but we're
soloing, now.

US: Ok, meet again next week. We'll take things from there.

..btw did I mention I know it's OLD! :eek:


Fledgling Freddie
Jan 2, 2004
No I didn't write it. I've no idea who did, it's one of those things floating around. There's another one in this form, a daoc game show. It's also been around a bit but I can't lay my hands on it at the moment.

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