Farts

[Lamp]

You're in a room, happily doing whatever and farting at the same time. How come you don't really smell your own farts, but if someone walks into the room they start coughing and spluttering and opening windows ?

 

[old.Tohtori]

Because it's your own natural scent that marks a territory in a sense.

Same as with other extrements.

If you meet the REAL match for you, woman wise, she won't mind them either. Actually should make her feel safer(even if she might complain, but only if she hears it). Same goes with sweat. Aftershaves and deodorants are devils anal leak for the mating ritual. Smell natural, get the women you actually want(in other then just looks way).

 

[Lamp]

Hmm....can "smell natural" equate to having to shower less ?
(he asks hopefully...)

 

[old.Tohtori]

Hmm....can "smell natural" equate to having to shower less ?
(he asks hopefully...)

Actually showering each day kills your natural scent.

So if you want to find real women, with no agenda except to f*ck you senseless, go natural. Those are the kind that turn to relationships etc.

If you want blondie, posh spice, rich spoiled brats....who only want to f*ck you senseless, but also take your moneyz, wear your Axe bowtsichawowow scent.

 

[kirennia]

We get used to our own natural scents, just like the sense of touch and such too. It's said that if we could smell everything about ourselves, we'd only ever end up smelling our top lip!

 

[Ormorof]

it is odd i suppose, but tbh ive farted sometimes and ive nearly died myself from it so cant imagine what would have happened if there was someone else there...

 

[Naetha]

Even I find my farts offensive at the moment - I ate a whole garlic baguette yesterday

 

[crispy]

farts are funny..........

 

[Overdriven]

Good thing I've not showered since Monday then, eh? oO


Well.. Monday or Tuesday.. I can't remember :S

 

[Lamp]

Which Monday ? 7 July 1994 ?

 

[Overdriven]

Which Monday ? 7 July 1994 ?

I've deffo had a shower in the last week.. I _think_ it was Monday that just passed, caused I smelled like the Met gig.

Ooooh, 4 days xD Tonight! I shower! o_oi

 

[old.Tohtori]

I've deffo had a shower in the last week.. I _think_ it was Monday that just passed, caused I smelled like the Met gig.

Ooooh, 4 days xD Tonight! I shower! o_oi

Nono! Tonight you go get woman. Womans like smelly men *nods*

By the way, standing in the rain for a few minutes does NOT count as a shower. Or so they say

 

[Overdriven]

Nono! Tonight you go get woman. Womans like smelly men *nods*

By the way, standing in the rain for a few minutes does NOT count as a shower. Or so they say

Oh dammit The ONLY benifit for living in the UK has now been thrown out of the window... Tbh, I should go test that. Go to a bar or smt and see if I get hit on xD (*Blink*) - Then shower, try again.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Oh dammit The ONLY benifit for living in the UK has now been thrown out of the window... Tbh, I should go test that. Go to a bar or smt and see if I get hit on xD (*Blink*) - Then shower, try again.

Ofcourse there's the problem of Facefactor(tm) and you need to be close to women for them to smell ya man aromah!

Those and ofcourse....you'll probably get disgusted looks(dependant on odor level) and "You smelzor!" comments, but to those there's the good old "Yeah, but atleast i'm not you." comment

 

[Overdriven]

I don't actually smell that bad! Good thing about not going out all week, movement is kept to a minimal therefore... Less smelly! YAY!.

Geh... I forgot it involved 'going near people' - Anyone else want to test this? I dislike people around here xD

EDIT:

Fuck it, back in about 20 minutes. Going to go and shower

 

[old.Tohtori]

Loser-quitter!

The reason you don't smell bad is that you don't mind your own safe smelly self. Others will notice.

I've tested it, it actually makes peoples initial reaction to you be either double the positive or double the negative. Funny really.

Men don't like you though, get all angry like.

 

[Overdriven]

I is back! wh00t. Clean...

 

[tris-]

ive just had a chicken vindaloo and a uranium filled samosa.

there is sweat dripping from my head and my hands are shaking.

if any of the proposed theories are correct then at least one of the 500 or so patrons at work tonight will want to sex me up.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Women attracted to smell and men attracted to your automated wanking hands

 

[Overdriven]

Don't wank after you've had a curry though... Curry Powder & Manly bits = Not the best mix.

 

[Naetha]

The smell that does it for me is a bit of BO (i.e. showered in the morning, then the smell that evening), a bit of nice aftershave (not too strong) and some nice lynx deodorant

 

[Thadius]

Even I find my farts offensive at the moment - I ate a whole garlic baguette yesterday

I giggled

 

[Thadius]

The smell that does it for me is a bit of BO (i.e. showered in the morning, then the smell that evening), a bit of nice aftershave (not too strong) and some nice lynx deodorant

Not a garlic bueggete filled fart?

 

[Lamp]

what about the new Lynx Fart fragrance ?

 

[tris-]

had some minor success though im not sure what that was attributed too.

i got molested last week when i first started by one of the bar maids and i was molested again this week. last week i wasnt sweating vindaloo either.

 

[Lamp]

I spent some of this afternoon with my 10 month old niece. Out of the blue she dropped this massive loud fart ! I wasn't expecting a sweet little 10 month old baby to emit such a gargantuan guff ! I'd be hard pushed to emulate such a fine parp. Fair play to her.

But then babies can get away with it. They can shit and piss themselves and everyone goes "Aaaaaah". If I shat myself (purely out of laziness), I'd have to wallow in my own filth until I could be arsed to clean myself up. Not fair. The wife should do it.

 

[Lamp]

Hey - even royalty fart:

 

[Serbitar]

poor harry got a face full of fart xD

love the look on the queens face as well

 

[Vasconcelos]

I remember when i was a child n went to Dublin for summer hollydays. There was this irish family i was staying with. After just a couple of days, the mother phoned mine n asked her if i had somekind of skin disease, cuz i had showers every morning.

Made me think about personal hygiene habits of some ppl....

 

[Lamp]

Women attracted to smell and men attracted to your automated wanking hands

My eyes must be going. I thought it read "loose women are attracted to small men". LOL