You wouldn't be saying that after I shove 3 parmos down your throat.
I think you'd sound more like
"glaarblghhh thrfghs blughfghrsploghs blarghrrbl floughurghbl"
I reckon they should feature a boro lad on Little Britain, my mate could easily outline how to act.
That's besides the smelling funny, eating parmos and drinking tons of cheap beer.