Famous Valentines

[Johnny Bravo]

Whilst getting my morning entertainment from The Sun, I noticed they had a middle page spread where they had Lonely Hearts they had written for Famous People......Heres a few

Beret Clad Mustachioed Middle Eastern dictator seeks fifth wife
to help conceal weapons of mass destruction.
Roomy basement flat with ample storage space in London a must.
Quick reply essential.

Balding Energetic DJ, 39, increasingly insecure
about marriage to younger woman.
Seeking Brighton & Hove Albion fanette to
help with his 12 inches.

Chain Smoking slightly tubby, tattooed superstar, 29 M,
split personality and no mates. WLTM boy or girl for fun
games of poker and nights at AA meetings.
Must be able to deal with huge mood swings
and even huger ego.

They made me laugh, and after the wonderful talent displayed in the limericks thread I though I would throw it open to you literary minds to come up with your own

 

[xane]

Sad Unfunny Trashy newspaper seeks new editor GSoH
Preferably not living in the 1960s, infact 21st century would be ideal.
Smart enough to be able to know the difference between paedophile and paediatrician.
Have own views not pro/anti of current government.
Consider world problems take priority over celebrity marriage crisis.