S
SilverHood
Guest
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish":
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"...
Sertainly, this will make the sivil sevants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k".
This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with
the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20%
shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible. Governments will
enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent
"e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and they should
go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
from vords kontaning "ou" and similar changes vud of
kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish":
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"...
Sertainly, this will make the sivil sevants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k".
This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with
the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20%
shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible. Governments will
enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent
"e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and they should
go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
from vords kontaning "ou" and similar changes vud of
kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!
