Does sex matter in a relationship?

[Bugz]

I noticed this topic in one of the student forums I occasionally look at and the results were rather amusing in that every guy and girl seemed to be adamant that sex does not matter in a relationship.

So, let's turn the tables and ask semi-sane adults - does sex matter?

 

[AngelHeal]

I noticed this topic in one of the student forums I occasionally look at and the results were rather amusing in that every guy and girl seemed to be adamant that sex does not matter in a relationship.

So, let's turn the tables and ask semi-sane adults - does sex matter?

....whats an relationship?

 

[Mikah75]

ofcourse it does, the whole point in a relationship is the two things of friendship and sexual attraction and longing for someone otherwise... its just friendship surely, thats the difference why you dont go around fucking your mates

 

[old.Tohtori]

....whats sex?

Fixed that for ya

 

[Olgaline]

the simple answer to that question is YES!
that is if we deem a [Relationship] to being within the context of guy-girl /BF-GF /man-wife ect and well and gay-gay in what ever setup.

Otherwise your not in a bloddy adult relationship, then your in a Convenienceship,
wich all fine and dandy in all aspects but it aint no love story either.

now there are ofc exeptions to the rule as always, but here you'll always find special or unusual circumstances that merit a sexless relationship. paralysed, ED, depressions, ect and so on

 

[Ezteq]

it does in that if your not attracted to your partner then your just friends rather than a couple. however it shouldnt be the only thing keeping the relationship going i.e. "we always argue but the sex is great so we stay together".

I actually have a problem wherein i find it really difficult to have sex (never used to, its a relatively new thing about 2 years or so old, pschological not physical) so me and Mr Ez havent actually done the deed very much at all in the last couple of years but we're good, still have snogs and cuddles and gropes and i mean we got engaged in July so ^^

if i didnt fancy the pants off him and like his company and love him (and the same with him for me) then the relationship would have just gone kaput. so in answer to your question, yes it is important and it is important that folk realise that it is also not that important...there are other things that mean more such as friendship, i mean if you dont like the person your going out with you really are stuffed lol

 

[AngelHeal]

Fixed that for ya

ow? you had sex with me then?

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well i don't think it matters...

*waits for the neysayers to finish their grumbling*

...done? Good.

As in, it doesn't matter for a relationship as much as it's part of it, and it's a good thing if it's good, but as we can see from EQs answer, it's not a defining factor.

Trust matters, supporting eachother matters, love matters(less then the two before), etc. But sex, it's part of it and simply the ultimate hug if you will. And if you want to say "hugs matter in a relationship", in a meaningful way, then i guess sex would matter too.

Ofcourse this depends on what you mean by "matters". Is it a necessity, or a needed part, or a part of it.

ow? you had sex with me then?

Oooh nice comeback, let me retort

If i did, it must've been really bad since i don't remember it.

 

[AngelHeal]

Oooh nice comeback, let me retort

If i did, it must've been really bad since i don't remember it.

you actually offered in a previous post

you aint a goldfish are you??

dont tell me i did it with a fish on the internet... OFF-TOPIC section even!

 

[swords]

I agree that it's not an yes/no thing, but more varying shades of grey depending on the people. One of the things you may have come across is the phrase 'our sex drives were so different, we were incompatible'. Everyones desire for sex and intimacy and friendship, to varying degrees will define how a relationship matures.

 

[old.Tohtori]

you actually offered in a previous post

you aint a goldfish are you??

dont tell me i did it with a fish on the internet... OFF-TOPIC section even!

I didn't offer to do it with you!

I offered to do with ANY female FHOTer

 

[AngelHeal]

I didn't offer to do it with you!

I offered to do with ANY female FHOTer

...i can do photoshop me

 

[Olgaline]

It does matter tho'
As in when it's absent,
you Tohtat least in your replies take for granted that it's present in the relationship, and from that angle mesure it's importance, or at least that how it comes off to me.

problem tho, in most cases, in relationships, sex only really becomes an issue when it fades off.

as long as it's present it really as you said, more becomes a part of things rather then a defining factor.


So guess we'd need to have specified in wich context we should discuss it?

 

[leviathane]

ofcourse sex matters, in essence it's like the most intimate thing you can share with each other, for some a way of connecting. Sure it's nice to cuddle n shit and talk, but a good sex life = a good healthy relationship. This doesn't mean you have to be at it like rabbits btw.

 

[Bugz]

When I say matter - I mean 'do you need it - does it have to be present.'

 

[old.Tohtori]

you Tohtat least in your replies take for granted that it's present in the relationship, and from that angle mesure it's importance, or at least that how it comes off to me.

Nope, simply from a view of how I see its importance. I've had relationships with and without, and neither worked any better/worse.

ofcourse sex matters, in essence it's like the most intimate thing you can share with each other, for some a way of connecting.

But then one has to bring out the one night stand thing into the equation. no need to explain that point further i believe?

When I say matter - I mean 'do you need it - does it have to be present.'

In that manner, i don't think that it is needed - has to be present. A relationship can work without it too.

...i can do photoshop me

Fake pics or it didn't happen

 

[swords]

You mean we've been busting our balls answering the wrong question?
No I refuse! We, the people, answered the correct question and you! you refused the right reply!

 

[Bugz]

You mean we've been busting our balls answering the wrong question?
No I refuse! We, the people, answered the correct question and you! you refused the right reply!

If you answer both questions, you earn a cookie though!

 

[old.Tohtori]

If you answer both questions, you earn a cookie though!

I did, now make with the cookie!

 

[Olgaline]

you would hold this view also if that relationship required you to be faithful/monogamous ?
as in basicly binding you to a crude form of celibacy ?

or would it require you to have the freedom to seek the activity elswhere ?

 

[old.Tohtori]

you would hold this view also if that relationship required you to be faithful/monogamous ?

as in basicly binding you to a crude form of celibacy ?

Yes i would?

As i stated on another thread, i don't need sex, i don't search it, i don't expect it, i take it if it's available ofcourse, but it's in no way a driving force.

And fyi, i hold every relationship faihtful/monogamous from my part 100% from the very beginning. No matter what kind/type.

 

[swords]

As Seel says, Sex is optional. But optional in the kinda way that beer is with curry. It's nice on its own, but fucking delicious together

 

[Everz]

Yes. nuff said.

 

[Lucius]

A relationship is defined by its sex life. Two mature (as in fully-grown) human beings cannot possibly live a successful relationship without a sex life. The people on your student forum are probably too young/immature (again - not in the insulting way - they are not fully-grown ) to realise it just yet.

So in short, yes, sex does matter. Their attitudes will change - I never thought sex would matter when I was 13/14 (incase anyone starts cracking up jokes, I had already developed by then ) but as you grow older you realise how important it is to maintain an emotional, physical (and for some couples) spiritual bond.

 

[Olgaline]

hm ok mate, taking from that reply "from when i was 13/14 I'm guessing your not much past 18-20 ?

Altho I "kinda agree with what you said" but i liked my way better

things "and especially sexdrives" do change alot from 18 to say being 30 and well can only imagine post 30. things do tend to slow down somewhat, and I very much disagree that sex in anyway defines a relationship. i do think it's an important part and "for me" a part that needs to be present for it to work in the long run, as I'm not willing to live in celebicy.. but I dont put much worth into how often or how great it is "I used to" but these days the mental and emotional conection between my GF and I plays a much more important role infact there are tons of things that define/ are improtant to our relationship before sex, thats not to say that our sex life isnt great, it is, but sometimes and even for long periods, it can "not saying it does" but can very easily take a back seat to other things.

 

[BloodOmen]

Tbh I can't really comment on this... me and my gf are at it like rabbits most of the time depends how people feel about each other I guess.. some people are happy enough just to spend time with someone.

Some people are even happy with the strange things, like rubbing each other down with a rubber chicken for example

Myself? well i'm not afraid to hide behind owt i'm proud with liking lots of sex (as is my mrs)

 

[Olgaline]

and how long have you and your gf been together ?

 

[BloodOmen]

and how long have you and your gf been together ?

4 years this august the 16th and been at it like rabbits since we met

 

[AngelHeal]

4 years this august the 16th and been at it like rabbits since we met

really? she must have got an sore ass by now

 

[Olgaline]

heh ok, thats abit unusual aflik, but as long as your both happy with it, then thats all that counts

No way i could or would want to keep up with that pace, "not that you've really defined humping like rabbits?"