Dear Deidre

[saltymcpepper]

Dear Deidre,

I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiancée's mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred...then she floored me.

She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me.Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation.

I headed straight out the front door... There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test. Deidre, should I tell my fiancée what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test" was asinine and insulting to my character?

Or should I keep the whole thing to myself including the fact that the reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?

Regards

Name withheld.

 

[Exiled]

lol, bw isnt the place for your personal issues salty

 

[saltymcpepper]

this thread isnt the place for you to pharm posts either

 

[Exiled]

lies all lies

run my fuzzy friends, eat his toes

 

[saltymcpepper]

arghh the killer red x's

 

[Exiled]

muhahah, nerf what ever website i borrowed the images of

 

[Repent Reloaded]

this is bull crap, I've read this be4, its changed a little but I've read this online be4, salty, bad salty!

 

[saltymcpepper]

my names not sault gay boy

 

[saltymcpepper]

lol at least i dont like Cradle of filth mighty

 

[Exiled]

lol, care for a lil bit of necrophilila ?

 

[Nightchill]

on a similar line :

"I am a sailor in the merchant navy.
My parents live in South London and one of my sisters,
who lives in Brixton, is married to a guy from
Liverpool. My Father and Mother have recently been
arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are
currently dependent on my two sisters, who are
prostitutes.

I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a
non-parole life sentence in Wormwood Scrubs for the
rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other
currently being held in Wandsworth on remand centre on
charges of incest with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai
prostitute who indeed is still a part time working
girl in a brothel, however, her time there is limited
as she has recently been infected with an STD.

We intend to marry as soon as possible and are
currently looking into the possibility of opening
our own brothel with my fiancee utilising her
knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am
hoping my two sisters would be interested in
joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute
themselves, it would at least get them off
the streets and hopefully the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward
to bringing her into the family and of course I wantto be totally honest with her.

Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being a Scouser ?"

 

[Gimly]

Seen both before but are still funny to read..

 

[Tasans]

Originally posted by saltymcpepper
lol at least i dont like Cradle of filth mighty

But why?

 

[the_smurflord]

I used to know Cradle of Filth when they were still on the London Pub circuit. Utter wankers, the lot of them. Remember the drummer sitting in my mates back garden, pissed out of his skull saying in the most moronic voice you ever heard "I'm a really good drummer, I am. Really good like."
To which the general response was "course you are, honest".
I think he passed out soon after, half in the fish pond.

 

[Tasans]

I didnt have the displeasure of meeting cradle of filth but i met with dimmu borgir. The expression DOH suits them fine. The drummer was like "Me stlong. Me real good drummer. Me sign autograph with an X cause i know how to write. <passes out>"

 

[old.LandShark]

Originally posted by Tasans

Ahaa, wankers

COF = bunch of mediocre but occaisionally catchy guitarists with a robot for a drummer and some stuck-up delusional screaming over the top and spoiling anything that might have been good about it

 

[-evull-]

Dimmu > COF

... and Landshark, I bet you're one of those Dream Theater fans aren't you? /curious

(nothing wrong about it, just seemed like a typical dream theater fan comment imo )