Darts commentator quotes

evzy

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
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After seeing the Gordon Strachan quotes, this landed in my email , thought I would share it with all you lucky people , some funny ones in it.. sorry its so long !

The Genius of Sid Waddell



> "That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus."
> "When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there
were no more worlds to conquer. Bristow's only 27."
> "It's the nearest thing to public execution this side of Saudi Arabia."
> "If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone
home."
> "He's as cool as a prized marrow!"
> "You couldn't get more excitement here if Elvis Presley walked in eating a
chip sandwich!"
> "He's playing out of his pie crust."
> "He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave."
> "He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends."
> "Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall
body strength."
> "Trying to read Reyes's mind is like trying to read the mind of Jabba the
Hutt"
> "These guys look calm but inside they are as nervous as a vampire who
knows there's a sale at the wooden stake shop in the morning."
>
> "That was like watching Popeye when he found his spinach!"
> "He's as twitchy as a frog in a blender"
> "He's going like the Loch Ness Monster with a following wind!"
> "Keith Deller is like Long John Silver - he's badly in need of another
leg."
> "He looks as happy as a scorpion who's just had a pedicure!"
> "Eyes like a pterodactyl....with contact lenses"
> "Cliff Lazarenko's jumping up and down like a gorilla saying "give me back
my banana!"
> On Bobby George - "He's like a Sherman tank on roller skates coming down a
mountain!"
> "He's twitching more than a one legged ferret!"
> "He's moving with the purpose of a Panzer Division"
> "He may practice 12 hours a day, but he's not shy of the burger van!"
> "He's like Jack The Ripper on a Friday night."
> "He's got one foot in the frying pan and one on thin ice."
> "Rod now looking like Kevin Costner when told the final cost of
Waterworld."
> "Tarantino re-writing Gunfight at the OK Corral couldn't have done any
better than this."
> "It's like Dracula getting out of his grave and asking for a few chips
with his steak."
> "That Lad could through 180 standing one legged in a hammock."
> "This game of darts is twisting like a rattlesnake with a hernia!"
> "It's just like taking a sausage from a boy in a wheelchair."
>
> "This is the clash that makes King Kong versus Godzilla look like a
chimpanzees tea party!"
>
> "That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!"
> "He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed."
> "Look at the man go, it's like trying to stop a water buffalo with a
pea-shooter!"
> "The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in ,with a portion of
chips....... you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them"
> "Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the
windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy."
>
> "Look at him as he takes his stance, like he has been sculptured, whereas
Bobby George, with his bad back, looks like the Hunchback of Notre Dame."
> "He's playing like Robin Hood in the Nottingham super league/"
> "They've got Shakespeare on Radio 2 but you can't beat this for drama."
> "It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline."
> "Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck
out."
> "His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch."
> "That's like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank."
> "As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here."
> "He is as slick as minestrone soup."
> "There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the
Christians to the Lions."
> "Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts
orbit!"
> "The atmosphere is a cross between the Munich Beer Festival and the
Coliseum when the Christians were on the menu."
> "Jockey Wilson, he comes from the valleys and he's chuffing like a
choo-choo train!"
> "He's planting those arrows with the accuracy of a couple of
inter-continental ballistic missiles.">
> "Bob Anderson ... looking like Lee van Cleef on a bad night!"
> "Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis"
> "The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!"
> "He's like D'Artagnan at the scissor factory."
> "This lad has more checkouts than Tescos."
>
The End!
 

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