swords
Can't get enough of FH
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 4,337
Taken from here! http://louise.bleedingego.co.uk/
How I Loathe Them....
Monday 23, February 2004 - 11:34:12
Evolution is a miraculous thing. From primordial soup, to little spasmodic lumps of life, to fishey type things, to monkeys, to men. I always viewed evolution as a spectacular event, to be embraced.
Until the chavs that wander up and down my street began evolving.
It all began some year ago. An abandoned tumble dryer had been left by the road side for the council to collect. They never came. The chavs, whilst usually content with wandering up and down the street spitting, gathered around this metal waste. Eyes growing wide. The music from 2001 began playing in my head, and I realised that this abandoned device for speeding up the drying of clothes was the chav version of a black monolith. Hooded youths began jumping on it, making vague noises that could even have been the beginning of words. Female chavs gathered, no doubt drawn by the smell of stale B+H, and sweat caused by jumping on a a tumble dryer. Finally, a piece of tubing broke loose, and one particularly bold chav grabbed it, and ran down the street chasing other chavs with it.
Chav had made a rudimentary weapon.
Since then, things have only got worse. They drag keys all down the side of my car, leaving silver scratches deep in the paint work. This is the chav equivalent I suppose of the thumb print or x instead of a written signature. Foot prints appear on the bonnet, where daring chavs have wandered over my Vauxhall Astra in the night, perhaps to get a better vantage point like strangely bejewelled versions of Meercats.
Recently though, the evolution has stepped up a notch. Now tires are being stabbed with screwdrivers (god forbid they actually used screwdrivers for unscrewing things. Don't you need opposable thumbs for such trickery?). Forty bloody quid to buy a new tyre because some monkeys wander past my car on the way home from rutting with eleven year old chavs, and drinking generic beer on a street corner somewhere. I can't wait till I can afford to move away from here.
*********************
I got asked by a couple of minging underage Chav lasses to buy alcohol for them on my way back from work today..after reading this i cant help but laugh at the poor unfortunate social scum
I especially likes the 2001 reference
How I Loathe Them....
Monday 23, February 2004 - 11:34:12
Evolution is a miraculous thing. From primordial soup, to little spasmodic lumps of life, to fishey type things, to monkeys, to men. I always viewed evolution as a spectacular event, to be embraced.
Until the chavs that wander up and down my street began evolving.
It all began some year ago. An abandoned tumble dryer had been left by the road side for the council to collect. They never came. The chavs, whilst usually content with wandering up and down the street spitting, gathered around this metal waste. Eyes growing wide. The music from 2001 began playing in my head, and I realised that this abandoned device for speeding up the drying of clothes was the chav version of a black monolith. Hooded youths began jumping on it, making vague noises that could even have been the beginning of words. Female chavs gathered, no doubt drawn by the smell of stale B+H, and sweat caused by jumping on a a tumble dryer. Finally, a piece of tubing broke loose, and one particularly bold chav grabbed it, and ran down the street chasing other chavs with it.
Chav had made a rudimentary weapon.
Since then, things have only got worse. They drag keys all down the side of my car, leaving silver scratches deep in the paint work. This is the chav equivalent I suppose of the thumb print or x instead of a written signature. Foot prints appear on the bonnet, where daring chavs have wandered over my Vauxhall Astra in the night, perhaps to get a better vantage point like strangely bejewelled versions of Meercats.
Recently though, the evolution has stepped up a notch. Now tires are being stabbed with screwdrivers (god forbid they actually used screwdrivers for unscrewing things. Don't you need opposable thumbs for such trickery?). Forty bloody quid to buy a new tyre because some monkeys wander past my car on the way home from rutting with eleven year old chavs, and drinking generic beer on a street corner somewhere. I can't wait till I can afford to move away from here.
*********************
I got asked by a couple of minging underage Chav lasses to buy alcohol for them on my way back from work today..after reading this i cant help but laugh at the poor unfortunate social scum
I especially likes the 2001 reference
