confucius say......

[old.ignus]

just sat here bored and inspired by the ad up top there was wondering if anybody knew any good confucius say lines.
My 2 favs

confucius say..... man with hook for hand should not scratch balls

confucius say..... man with forked tongue please many women

 

[Perplex]

I really hate these 'sayings' - a huge disservice to a great philosopher

 

[nath]

those two were lame :|

confucius say.. man who goes to bed horny, wakes up with solution in hand

(oh christ, that's lame too :/)

 

[Sar]

Ch'iu K'ung, K'ung-fu-tzu, K'ung-fu'-tse or Kongfuzi, NOT Confucius.

He only ever was called Confucius by simple/lazy Westerners who couldn't (be bothered to) pronounce his "real" name properly, who therefore Romanised his name.

Either way:

"Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who run in front of car get tired."

"Passionate kiss like spider web - soon lead to undoing of fly."

"Virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone."

"Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."

"Man who walk through airport turnstile backwards going to Bangkok."

"Man who do business in whore house get jerked around."

"Baseball wrong. Man with four balls not able to walk."

"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it."

"War does not determine who right. War determine who left."

"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house."

"Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night."

"It take many nail to build crib, but one screw to fill it."

"Man who drive like hell, bound to get there."

"Man who live in glass house should change in basement."

"Boy who go to bed with sexual problem wake up with solution in hand."

"Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs."

"Man who stands on stool gets high on pot."

"Man with hands in pocket feel cocky"



Or if you want some REAL ones:

Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.

The superior man acts before he speaks, and afterwards speaks according to his action.

To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right.

Only the wisest and the stupidest of men never change.

Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof when your own doorstep is unclean.

It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.

A man who has committed a mistake and doesn't correct it is committing another mistake.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

Faithfulness and sincerity are the highest things.

I am not concerned that I am not known, I seek to be worthy to be known.

The wheel of fortune turns round incessantly, and who can say to himself, "I shall today be uppermost."

Have no friends not equal to yourself.

Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in.

With coarse rice to eat, with water to drink, and my bent arm for a pillow -- I have still joy in the midst of all these things.

When you know a thing, to hold that you know it; and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it--this is knowledge.

The essence of knowledge is, having it, to apply it; not having it, to confess your ignorance.

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.

Of neighborhoods, benevolence is the most beautiful. How can the man be considered wise who when he had the choice does not settle in benevolence.

A man who does not think and plan long ahead will find trouble right at his door.

Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.

He who wishes to secure the good of others has already secured his own.

He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.

The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.

What the superior person seeks is in themselves. What the mean person seeks is in others.

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people.

To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness.

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

Do not worry about holding high position; worry rather about playing your proper role.




The man was a fucking genius btw, this one is one of my favourites:

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

Damn straight.

 

[old.Explosive23]

Confuscious say... It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl!

Confuscious say... Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.

Confuscious say... Man who jizz in cash register come into money.

Confuscious say... Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Confuscious say... Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock.

Confuscious say... Man who fart in church must sit in own pew.

Confuscious say... Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock.

Confuscious say... Man who finger girl having period get caught red handed.

Confuscious say... Learn to masturbate--come in handy.

Confuscious say... Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

Confuscious say... Man who cooks corn and pees in same pot is very unsanitary.

Lol, I found these by accident in my IRC script

 

[ShockingAlberto]

Heh heh

 

[old.tivoli]

teeheehee