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old.[SCW]Nessie
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CHINESE TORTURE!
A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long grey beard.
“I’m lost,” said the man. “Can you put me up for a night?”
“Certainly,” the Chinese man replied, “but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man.”
“OK,” said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn’t keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man’s warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone.
During the night the young man could bear it no longer. He silently moved across the wooden landing and entered the daughters bedroom snuggling into her bed for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn’t hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.
The young man awoke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note attached to it that read “Chinese Torture 1: Large Rock on Chest”.
“Well, that’s pretty crap!” he thought. “If that’s the best the old man can do then I don’t have much to worry about.” He picked up the rock, walked over to the window and threw it out. As he did so he noticed another note on it. The note read “Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to Left Testicle”.
In a panic the young man glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones were better than castration he jumped out of the window after the rock. As he plummeted towards the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that read “Chinese Torture 3: Right Testicle tied to Bed Post.”
A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long grey beard.
“I’m lost,” said the man. “Can you put me up for a night?”
“Certainly,” the Chinese man replied, “but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man.”
“OK,” said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn’t keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man’s warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone.
During the night the young man could bear it no longer. He silently moved across the wooden landing and entered the daughters bedroom snuggling into her bed for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn’t hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.
The young man awoke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note attached to it that read “Chinese Torture 1: Large Rock on Chest”.
“Well, that’s pretty crap!” he thought. “If that’s the best the old man can do then I don’t have much to worry about.” He picked up the rock, walked over to the window and threw it out. As he did so he noticed another note on it. The note read “Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to Left Testicle”.
In a panic the young man glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones were better than castration he jumped out of the window after the rock. As he plummeted towards the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that read “Chinese Torture 3: Right Testicle tied to Bed Post.”
