Sex Chavtowns

[cHodAX]

I know someone else posted about this site on FH years ago but it really is a brilliant read, most of the town descriptions are fucking hilarious if technically not correct.

Chavtowns – Britain's worst places to live!

Nearly died laughing at the description of my local small town, Denton. It is very very far from the truth but by god it was had my eyes watering.

Denton Denton Denton, the shit hole of manchester!Last year was rather famous featured on comic relief,the kiddy scallies run around with no shoes.
I am unlucky to have driven round Denton,and the fisrt thing i noticed was,the amount of VERMIN running round the streets!i seen i big,black RAT!
Most of the houses dont have windows(as they are council),so many window cleaners dont have jobs. Those who do have a “career”,sell the big issue in manchester town centre. The typical person in denton wheres a sky divers suit with spinderman trainers!
denton is such a slum poeple have to walk 3 miles to the nearest well,what a SHITHOLE!

Go on, post what it says about your town or places nearby!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Nothing

Though i do think, even if i'm no spelling nazi by far, that if a brit wrote that thing it's despicable

 

[cHodAX]

Ez's hometown of Bournmouth made me giggle...

Well Bournemouth is probably relatively safe, so long as you only visit in daylight, and know where to hang-out; but get it wrong and you can end up in serious trouble.

Bournemouth « Chavtowns – Britain's worst places to live!

 

[Ch3tan]

Find Croydon or Thornton Heath please mate, that site is shockingly badly designed, so I can't be arsed

 

[cHodAX]

Find Croydon or Thornton Heath please mate, that site is shockingly badly designed, so I can't be arsed

CROYDON « Chavtowns – Britain's worst places to live!

Thornton Heath « Chavtowns – Britain's worst places to live!

Both look real classy.

There are numerous articles on this site describing the severe chav related disorders of a town called Croydon. This is a satanic chavhole which has always been so ever since some twat decided to try and develop it into a massive city in the 60′s – that experiment failed. Croydon is not nice to be in, its shopping centres are shit, there are so many vagrants on the streets and the plague is spreading to all of the suburbs around.

 

[Ch3tan]

That is actually how I pronounce thornton heath too

A northwestern suburb of Croydon known as Thornton Heath (or as the locals call it, “Fouwrtneeeeef”)

 

[cHodAX]

That is actually how I pronounce thornton heath too

Cockney slag!

 

[Ch3tan]

I's more a fake jamo accent than cockney

It's yardie town round here.

Like the yardie ***** who sped out of a corner and clipped my car today and drove off.

 

[cHodAX]

I have no idea wtf you are on about, thankfully.

 

[Ch3tan]

Yardies - Jamaican gangsters.

Jamo's - potentially derogatory term for Jamaicans.

 

[Job]

One of the replies from someone who thinks we're all stuck up in Crosby.

My god, I have heard it all now.

How can somebody be critical of Bootle in the same vain as Crosby.

Hardly Eaton Square in Belgravia now is it?

“The Birky” , “The George” and other shite dives. Fucking hell, people like Paul Kersey (if thats yer real name) make me want to vomit.

Further more if your talking slags mate, you must be that rank that even the Crosby ones wouldn`t touch you! Manys the time I have been alighting from a car to go to Stamps or the Barbacoa, to find some fucking ugly desperado, Crosby, Waterloo or wherever minger, dropping her rancid fucking smeggy knickers for some ugly crosby toad like you! You talk like your the landed gentry with a priveleged pass for Merchant Taylors. From your choice of language you would be very lucky indeed to scrape by on a scholarship. Bet you were an ex Manor boy. In actual fact they were a pompous bunch of wankers, with dicks the length and width of a needle. All fucking jockstrap and no dick. Your such a prick! Infact you should be brave and submit your real name and address. What a coward, bet your a little greasy weed in a flashers mac.

 

[Everz]

For Wolverhampton :

One of towns the Government thought fit for city status several years ago, but alas! what a toilet this place is amid the urban sprawl of dives such as Bloxwich, Willenhall, Bilston, Walsall – to name but a few. Wolverhampton is stuck in a 1970′s time warp for starters – people still have feather cuts, and wear kipper ties, (in Burberry), and aspire to be Noddy Holder or Dave Hill out of Slade.
The Chavs, (whose great-grandparents are very likely to be still playing Slade albums) can be found in a number of locations in scum city. The majority hang around the Mander Centre, in, or near the Sound as a Pound shop. Otherwise, they can be found usually at Pipers Row bus station in large groups doing their best to attract the attention of Chavettes loitering only on the off chance of free fags and shags.
Heading into the suburbs, and you will find the Burberry Brigade en masse in places like Penn Fields, Warstones, Bushbury, Low Hill, (you can’t get any lower than this!), Park Village, and Whitmore Reans. No shopping precinct is safe anymore, and you will find that Chavs frequent the naffest take-aways too – the ones that have never seen or heard of food hygiene certification, and also cook all their Farm Foods type pies, chips, etc., in knocked off, out-of-date BSE lard. No Chav diet is complete without as much crap and toxins as they can lay their hands on, and let’s face it, they do pretty well, and that’s before they fill up on drugs.
If you must go to Wolverhampton, stay well clear of the Chav Zones – head for the west side, which, as far as I know, is Chav free…at the moment. Trouble is, coming from the west side and not so far away, is…Telford…say no more!

Cheltenham is a paradise tbh.

 

[Laddey]

No Preston?! Dissapointed.


It is a proper shithole.

 

[Laddey]

Maybe its not a shit hole. It can be quite pleasant actually. Some areas we clean are really nice.


But overall a dump.

 

[Madmaxx]

Bah nothing for Southend in Essex there, funny descriptions of Canvey Island comparing it to beirut and Basildon AkA BasVegas

 

[cHodAX]

Maybe its not a shit hole. It can be quite pleasant actually. Some areas we clean are really nice.


But overall a dump.

The biggest shithole in Preston? Laddey doing a goatse.

 

[Bahumat]

Bah nothing for Southend in Essex there, funny descriptions of Canvey Island comparing it to beirut and Basildon AkA BasVegas

Haha BasVegas, guaranteed to get stabbed on a friday night

 

[Lamp]

I'm sure there was a thing on Romford - Slagtown I think they called it

Ah! Essex girls. So classy. So refined

 

[fettoken]

I want to do her.

 

[Ch3tan]

jodie marsh? Oh god no fett, there is nothing attractive about her at all.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I want to do her too

 

[Lamp]

she'd eat you alive & spit the bones out for the cats

 

[fettoken]

jodie marsh? Oh god no fett, there is nothing attractive about her at all.

She's just pure filth, me like. I mean come on wouldnt you want to have her titties rubbed in your face and slap that f*cking ass. I can think of so many things i'd want to do with her. heh..

 

[Ch3tan]

Right that's fine, you idiots take her to scandanavia and never let her out. Ever.

 

[cHodAX]

Pair of sick Scandie fuckers.

 

[fettoken]

Bugger off you pair of brit tits.

 

[Ch3tan]

You've clearly not had to put up with "it". If you want a dirty slapper at least go for Jordan, the fact that she even rates higher than Marsh must tell you something.