Chavs

[Gamah]

Burn them all.

My mates got jumped for no reason (again), by 50 or so scummy Chavs..So this post is dedicated to burning them at the stake!

BURN THE CHAVS!!!

 

[Aoln]

Words cant express my hatred for chavs..

 

[Morchaoron]

let them be useful, turn them into:

 

[Archeon]

My mates got jumped for no reason (again), by 50 or so scummy Chavs..So this post is dedicated to burning them at the stake!

Brings a whole new meaning to the term zerg really, I picked up a line I love to use from a terry Prachett book

"There are 4 of you and 1 of me, so i'm 4 times as likley to hit sombody. So which one of you is it going to be?"

Always good to make them unsure of themselves, ofc against 50 people there isn't much you can do

 

[Frealaf]

Here is a site where you can vent your Chav frustratrations.

http://www.chavscum.co.uk/

 

[Melachi]

Whats a chav exactly? I presume its an english scumbag/knacker (irish term).

People that mug you, start fights for no reason, ect...?

Usualy in Ireland it starts when one comes up to you and goes "have ye got a spare smoke?" then its "ye startin?!" and "ill burst ya"

Was figure out what a chav was from some brits I was talkin to but they didnt know what they were, they said something about patchstripe hats tho or somethin

[edit] just checked out the site and they are the english equivilent to scumbag's in ireland, mind you I have a pair of Reebok classics

[edit2] classic lol, rooneys a chav

 

[Gamah]

Chavs are the bane of English culture.

Often seen sporting burbury caps and Adidas tracksuits, having the collective brain power of a small turnip they like to fight and "look a'rd in front of the skeet" (girls).

Chavs are the shitest most unbelievably retarded low life scum you could possibly see. They hang around in packs like dogs and only fight you out numbered. The chav is recognisable by his massive gold chain from argos and the girl chavs like there 200ft gold earings also from argos, add a sprinkle of sovrin rings and a dash of stupidity and you have 1 chav.

I hate then SO much that I feel a rage just thinking about the moldy fucking excuse for life that the chav is.

Most chavs listen to shit music (Read Garage and Rap) and drive Nova's and fiesta's. They also speak in some fucking street speak that any person with the slightest amount of education is perplexed to even comprehend, for example "Aight Bruv dem fkin rossers taxed my shit cos I was blappsin' this old bird" Translation "Hello my fellow chav those fucking Police officers took away my shit because I was beating up an old lady".

You probably have the same in Ireland, and aye they do sound the same as the little shit heads are everywhere.

Hope this clears it up for you .

EDIT: Just saw your edit, but I had fun writing this down so

 

[Aiteal]

hehe Melachi,
Knackers, havent heard that in a while.

Up in norn irn they are called spides, dues to their one time fondness for spider's web tattoos on their necks and elbows, it was spidermen, then just got shortened to spides
The girls tend to be called millies, because in bygone years they mostly worked in Linen Mills.

Though in Derry we tended to call them Chuckies or Chucks, because of their tendancy to shout a phrase that starts with 'chucky'

 

[Melachi]

Heres some of the Irish 'chav' lingo

"Gargle" - drink (usualy some sort of cheap vodka/beer )
"Story?" - Whats up?
"Ill burst ya" - Im gonna punch you
"bird" - women (though everyone uses this )
"moth" - girlfriend (everyone uses this too)
"6 dutch and 10 B&H" - A healthy diet of 6 shitty cheap beers and 10 smokes (note I drink this too )

Cant think of anything else atm though, but in my town theres this whole cockney slang thing going on

"On my Toblerone" - On my own
"On the Dog and Bone" - on the phone
"cream bunner" - runner (as in to run not the shoes, to get away fast )
"tom hank" - *ank fill in the blank
"going for a hit and miss" - going for a piss
"going for a barry white" - going for a sh*te

 

[Escape]

These two 'chav' girls walked into the takeaway and started giving one of the workers grief, for not smiling at them when he took their order. One of the girls said "We're paying for your wages, y'know" - I doubt she'll ever work out it's him who's paying for her benefits

Chavs are peasant stock, it'll take a few more generations to breed them out.

/edit/ London Bus drivers are getting DNA storing kits, to help identify chavs who spit on them!

 

[Sinnica]

The guestbook was most amusing.

 

[Sissyfoo]

I was at the pub on friday night and a bunch of chavs came in all blinged out and started chanting "show us yer nipples!" before sitting down and proceeding to call each other "*****" and try to fool themselves into thinking they were black. It might have been funny if I could have turned around, shot one in the head and then told the others to leave but as it stands I left instead.

One day I'll find a way to kill them all!

 

[Lumikki]

Geez, thank god I don't live in England from the sound of that.

 

[harebear]

Lol I read this and 2 go past.. 1 on a bike (prolly stolen - shit anyway) and other in some gay white hoodie, burberry cap etc ;< I shoulda chased them with petrol and matches damnit :<

 

[Mojo]

I shoulda chased them with petrol and matches damnit :<

Yes you should have

 

[Chilly]

Im bloody glad i work in a student bar, few students are chavs (specially in oxford) so the only fights are when little Lord York's boy calls me boy when trying to order a drink.

 

[Binky the Bomb]

Over the weekend a chav got the living shit beat out of him. And for once there were no asians/indians involved. The guy was beating the shit out of his girlfriend on a main road in the town centre at about midnight on saturday. Her friend called out for help and two guys from the nearby pub responded and beat 10 shades of shit out of him, rang the police and explained what had happened, then apologised for beating the little shit into unconciousness. The girl got away with bruising to the face, neck, shoulders and back, nothing broken (thankfully).

The guys reason for attacking his girlfriend: "She kept mking jokes about me."

You couldn't make it up.
(Source of this info is todays local paper and one of the publicans is a mate of mine who told me this on sunday)

 

[Sigurd]

I also despise chavs. Known mainly as townies in my city, they're everywhere, crawling out from their council estates into the realm of humanity. Bring back the feudal system

 

[Bunnytwo]

Had variation of that outside local pub, bloke beating the crap out of his girlfriend, a guy steps in to try and help her, evil bitch knifed him 3 times for touching her boyfriend.

 

[harebear]

Stuff like that stucks Binky, if I saw some guy hitting any woman id beat the crap outa them :<

 

[punchy]

chav is thought to stem from the phrase "Chatham Average" - Chatam is place in the UK where the word was first used anyway: to denote the unusully high concentration of a particular breed of pond scum clogging up the main streets with their gold clown jewellery, cheap sportswear and prams containing "pasty babies"*

fuckin Nike Pikies: shoot the lot of them. Please see the following movies for examples of the classic "Sheffield Townie". They remind me why I'm glad I moved to Cambridge...

http://www.fat-pie.com/chavs.htm

*note pasty as in "pastry food containing meat and potatoes", not "pale coloured" (though they are that too as a result of malnutrition). As I understand this is a term used up in the North East of England (Bishop Aukland area) due to the common feeding strategy that the local chav-slag teenage mums have developed for their delightful little Jason's/Lee's/Kylie's/Chardonnay's nutrition: a blue and white striped "Greg's" Bakery bag containing a well balanced and nutritious meal of meat pasty. Quite why David Blunket hasn't sorted out a sterilisation program yet I don't know.

 

[Mojo]

Nike Pikies

lmfao :worthy:

 

[Sissyfoo]

Had variation of that outside local pub, bloke beating the crap out of his girlfriend, a guy steps in to try and help her, evil bitch knifed him 3 times for touching her boyfriend.

Yeesh! Was that in Bournemouth?! :-o

/edit Now Poole has gypsies camped out on Holes Bay Park...nearly cycled over 2 smelly runty looking kids and a greyhound that looked older than my grandparents combined!

I will try better to squish them next time.

 

[Binky the Bomb]

The behaviour is bloody atrocious at times, no matter where you go. It's worse when you see em hanging around shop fronts, terrorising everybody and getting under foot. My local shops have had to install CCTV to catch the little bastards on tape, as the police can't do anything without evidence.

Worse still, they caught one guy handing out booze to younger members of his "socail club" (i.e. trainee townies) and was encouraging them to act like wankers. It's easier for them to get away with it when there younger, as most people will shrug it off as "kids being kids", it's pathetic when there going on 25-30 and still doing it. Only consolation is that when they hit 18, you can beat the fuck out of them for anything they try on you, and the law (if they get involved) will almost always side with you.

The funniest thing about them is the fact that they are always trying to convice you there "Ard" and are "gonna kick yer ass". Have had it off a fifteen year old lad who was trying to impress his girlfriend (i presume). His comment of "Gimme yea mobile or ill deck yea." (Hand over my phone or he will beat me up, for those readers not from england). The kid was about 5 foot, wearing a tatty track suit with his trousers tucked into his socks (anyone seen this?), wearing a cap on at an angle. I tried to take him seriously, poor bastard, I realy tried. But, alas, I could not keep my composure. I laughed so hard I was tears. Told him that was a good joke and carried on walking home.

Swear to god, it was like something out of "Little Britain", one of those surreal comedy moments to cherrish. If he'd been a few years older and didnt have such a whinny "my balls haven't dropped" vioce, I'd have taken him more seriously. So of those who've never had "the pleasure" of meeting a townie (and not the other "pleasure"), thats what there like at a young age. Too much Oasis, not enough decent music. We have only ourselfs to blame i suppose.

 

[harebear]

By saying 'too much Oasis' you are saying that these Chavs listen to Oasis? Around here anyway I wish that were true, its all RnB, Hip Hop crap :S

 

[Cyfr]

I once got attacked by townies with broken bottles, me and my friend, there were two townies..
As soon as the tide turned and I got my hands on the bottle (because it took too much IQ to actualy hit me with it) he was crying

"Don't hit me or i'll get Irish John on ya!"

Hieheheh.

 

[harebear]

\o/

 

[Sissyfoo]

Should be legal to hunt chavs for sport! I can just see myself in a bright red coat, leaping over burnt out novas on my trusty steed whilst a frightened chavette runs for her life down the street screaming at the top of her pleby lungs, "Fackin cant! LEMEE LOAN! I ain't dun nuffin wron!"

TALLY HOOOOO, MOTHER FUCKERS!!

 

[Toxx]

oh SWEET lord i love this thread.

One of the funnier things though, is if you recognise some chav from outside a fish and chip shop, you know, the ones who terrorise old women for "STREE CREDZ", and hes alone, and maybe your with your mate, or whatever, if you go up to them they cower, they really really get worried, cause they arnt with their usual "pack".

Shocking, its devolution really, their going backwards, in 50 years time, the future chav will have mobile phones replaced with smoke signals, and chatup lines replaced with big wooden clubs.

 

[Vepo]

Where I lived within Sunderland "Pennywell" is the home of the Chavers within Sunderland. I've seen them in all shapes and sizes. When I get some more battaries for my digital camera I will take some photos of the little shits around here.