O
old.Tohtori
Guest
(Wrote this a while back...the beginnign is just blah blah so...not posting it, enjoy! 
) Yes it's long.
...so there i was, wide awake at 7am, after 3 hours of sleep because of a freaking carbomb. In somewhere like the states this might be an every day happening, not trying to belittle an "accident" there or say that our carbombs are better then your carbombs. I'm quite happy that once, for once something actually happened and i knew about it before the moguls of print&press twisted it into a "terrorist" theory of their own. Since the pub of heavy metal and rock wasn't, presumably, the carbombers target this might be classified as an accident. Accidently blew up in the wrong place so to say. So i started thinking of other ways for the "terrorists" to bring joy into their community, first starting of with my favorite:
THE CARBOMB ALARM CLOCK:
By calling a number, one would be able to order a nice and fresh "Carbomb Alarm Clock". At any time of the day the "Terrorists" would park a vehicle next to your home, not too far so you'll be sure to wake up but also not too near so you'll be waking in your own bed atleast. The area of explosion can be easily stricted to the car itself, a van fitting the idea perfectly and even a "Terrorist line- Do not cross" tape placed around the expected explosion area.
THE EVERHANDY HIJACKER:
Need to get to somewhere but the busses or plains just arn't going there when you need them? No fear 'cause the "Everhandy Hijacker" is here! With a small fee, your friendly neighborhood hijacker will get you a bus, a plane, heck and spank me pink, he can even get you a helicopter! All the "Everhandy Hijackers" are well trained avianics pilots and have years of experience in driving a bus, mostly school busses, that really builds up the needed stamina for a stunt like this. So next time you're on a busstop and all the busses to Witchita are either gone or the next going in..oh boy..4 hours from now, call a "Everhandy Hijacker" and you'll be singing roadtunes in no time.
THE HELPFUL BANKROBBER:
This is a slightly different then the usual "terrorist" thing to do but i believe in my heart that they are cabable of doing such mundane work as "The Helpful Bankrobber". By entering your local bank just minutes before you do, they can easily, with the aid of a 9mm Glock automatic or a 12g shotgun make the lines inside a bank "Magically" disappear, leaving you free to choose any clerk inside the bank, even your favorite one to handle your banking needs. And better yet, "The Helpful Bankrobber" won't even need a payment from you as he will continue to finish the job after you are gone. This way you don't have to wait in line for hours on for a simple cash deposit. And if they still work slowly at the bank? No fear, "The Helpful Bankrobber" will simply wave his 9mm Glock automatic in the air and say things like "Move! Before i cap you another one" or "This things got a clip full of bullets with your name on it!" always recieving faster and mroe efficient bank service for your needs.
These are only a few handy occupations the "Terrorist" could take, providing more back to his community rather then trying to bring the "Twisted and Corrupted Modern Devil" down. So if you wake up, like i did, into a joyous sound of glatter and shatter, be sure to check if your neighbor has ordered a "Carbomb Alarm Clock", they jsut might have a business meeting they just -have- to get to.
) Yes it's long....so there i was, wide awake at 7am, after 3 hours of sleep because of a freaking carbomb. In somewhere like the states this might be an every day happening, not trying to belittle an "accident" there or say that our carbombs are better then your carbombs. I'm quite happy that once, for once something actually happened and i knew about it before the moguls of print&press twisted it into a "terrorist" theory of their own. Since the pub of heavy metal and rock wasn't, presumably, the carbombers target this might be classified as an accident. Accidently blew up in the wrong place so to say. So i started thinking of other ways for the "terrorists" to bring joy into their community, first starting of with my favorite:
THE CARBOMB ALARM CLOCK:
By calling a number, one would be able to order a nice and fresh "Carbomb Alarm Clock". At any time of the day the "Terrorists" would park a vehicle next to your home, not too far so you'll be sure to wake up but also not too near so you'll be waking in your own bed atleast. The area of explosion can be easily stricted to the car itself, a van fitting the idea perfectly and even a "Terrorist line- Do not cross" tape placed around the expected explosion area.
THE EVERHANDY HIJACKER:
Need to get to somewhere but the busses or plains just arn't going there when you need them? No fear 'cause the "Everhandy Hijacker" is here! With a small fee, your friendly neighborhood hijacker will get you a bus, a plane, heck and spank me pink, he can even get you a helicopter! All the "Everhandy Hijackers" are well trained avianics pilots and have years of experience in driving a bus, mostly school busses, that really builds up the needed stamina for a stunt like this. So next time you're on a busstop and all the busses to Witchita are either gone or the next going in..oh boy..4 hours from now, call a "Everhandy Hijacker" and you'll be singing roadtunes in no time.
THE HELPFUL BANKROBBER:
This is a slightly different then the usual "terrorist" thing to do but i believe in my heart that they are cabable of doing such mundane work as "The Helpful Bankrobber". By entering your local bank just minutes before you do, they can easily, with the aid of a 9mm Glock automatic or a 12g shotgun make the lines inside a bank "Magically" disappear, leaving you free to choose any clerk inside the bank, even your favorite one to handle your banking needs. And better yet, "The Helpful Bankrobber" won't even need a payment from you as he will continue to finish the job after you are gone. This way you don't have to wait in line for hours on for a simple cash deposit. And if they still work slowly at the bank? No fear, "The Helpful Bankrobber" will simply wave his 9mm Glock automatic in the air and say things like "Move! Before i cap you another one" or "This things got a clip full of bullets with your name on it!" always recieving faster and mroe efficient bank service for your needs.
These are only a few handy occupations the "Terrorist" could take, providing more back to his community rather then trying to bring the "Twisted and Corrupted Modern Devil" down. So if you wake up, like i did, into a joyous sound of glatter and shatter, be sure to check if your neighbor has ordered a "Carbomb Alarm Clock", they jsut might have a business meeting they just -have- to get to.