But when will I feel better, mummy?

[Summo]

Dear God. I went to bed at 10:30 last night and had a bit of a delicate stomach. I put it down to too much chocolate and Jaffa Cakes.

Woke up two hours later, staggered down the stairs saying "uh-oh... uh-oh..." and puked my guts up into the toilet.

Despite my stomach being totally empty, it insisted on going through the motions of ejecting everything it could every two hours. THERE'S NOTHING IN THERE, YOU ****! LEAVE ME ALONE!

But my point is, I've thrown up before but never experienced such painful stomach cramps as my body rejects the sip of water I had an hour previously.

I'm looking for something to settle my stomach so phoned a nurse. She told me to fast for 24 hours and take regular, small sips of water.

So the reason for this thread is....

...

...

 

[dysfunction]

Ive had that.

I suggest keep drinking the water and eat some creme crackers slowly as well. Dont eat/drink too much though. Just half a biscuit and half a glass of water or something whenever you feel a bit settled.

Eventually you will stop puking.

But it is better to puke with something in your stomach than have nothing!! Else you start puking bile which is horrendous!!

Also try and get to sleep after drinking the water...I find that helps a bit.


Good Luck and hope you get better soon!

 

[caLLous]

Don't worry Summo, I spent last week glued to the throne with the most horrendous shits I've ever had. Apparently I had a mild form of pneumonia. Literally pouring out, it was. Went from the worst shits in the world to the worst constipation within about 3 hours. My arse didn't know what to do with itself!

All gone now, after passing it on to a few.

 

[Brynn]

I have to agree. Dry Retching is horrible.

Btw when u Puked were their bits of carrots...even tho u hadn't eaten any? I always find that

 

[Trem]

Have a Pot Noodle or some fried eggs on toast, that will sort ya out chum

 

[Wij]

Sounds like food poisoning

Have a glass of wine.

 

[Cdr]

Originally posted by Brynn
Btw when u Puked were their bits of carrots...even tho u hadn't eaten any? I always find that

I believe that's stomach lining

 

[caLLous]

You people try working out where all the poo comes from when you have the shits! I swear, gallons (completely liquid unit of measurement) came out and i didn't eat anything for like, 2 days before...

 

[L_Plates]

Hope you feel better soon Summo.


Being sick is is one of teh worst feelings in the world

 

[throdgrain]

A rep who comes in here told me this story the other day.
He's a religeous bloke, and had been to Turkey working for some Christian charity thing. All went well for a year or too, until one day he bought some food from a restuarant, as he had done many times before.
That night he went to an opera, of all things, and in the middle of it, without any warning, he started projectile vomiting about the place, uncontrolably, and had to be removed and taken to hospital.
He was very very ill, and later tests apparently proved that he had ingested something very unpleasant, to be precise, human shite .
As far as he knows, turns out the place he bought the food had been doing some creative cookery

 

[Tom]

Drink a nice big glass of warm salty water, that'll stop the retching.

 

[doh_boy]

Originally posted by throdgrain
A rep who comes in here told me this story the other day.
He's a religeous bloke, and had been to Turkey working for some Christian charity thing. All went well for a year or too, until one day he bought some food from a restuarant, as he had done many times before.
That night he went to an opera, of all things, and in the middle of it, without any warning, he started projectile vomiting about the place, uncontrolably, and had to be removed and taken to hospital.
He was very very ill, and later tests apparently proved that he had ingested something very unpleasant, to be precise, human shite .
As far as he knows, turns out the place he bought the food had been doing some creative cookery

Now I'm pretty sure this is a true story (it was in the local news and the restuarant turned into a bike shop bloody sharpish). So one day inocent geezer goes for a curry in stockport and everything seemed fine. A day or two later he got really ill. When the doctors checked what he had eaten (I'm not really going to guess) they found quite a scary amount of crap* in it but the worst was 4 different persons 'bodily fluid' in there.


*not literally

 

[L_Plates]

sound like a curry house were i live. Were you from ?

 

[Wij]

Originally posted by L_Plates
sound like a curry house were i live. Were you from ?

Are you a chef ?

 

[L_Plates]

does it matter ?

 

[Wilier]

Originally posted by Summo

Despite my stomach being totally empty, it insisted on going through the motions of ejecting everything it could every two hours. THERE'S NOTHING IN THERE, YOU ****! LEAVE ME ALONE!

I had this, coupled with a crippeling head ache. Turned out to be meningitis.

 

[Wij]

Re: Re: But when will I feel better, mummy?

Originally posted by Wilier
I had this, coupled with a crippeling head ache. Turned out to be meningitis.

Argh - to the doc. NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!1

 

[~Lazarus~]

Originally posted by caLLous
Don't worry Summo, I spent last week glued to the throne with the most horrendous shits I've ever had. Apparently I had a mild form of pneumonia. Literally pouring out, it was. Went from the worst shits in the world to the worst constipation within about 3 hours. My arse didn't know what to do with itself!

All gone now, after passing it on to a few.

Didnt you managed to block the offending hole by using Wij's knob?

 

[throdgrain]

Originally posted by doh_boy
Now I'm pretty sure this is a true story (it was in the local news and the restuarant turned into a bike shop bloody sharpish). So one day inocent geezer goes for a curry in stockport and everything seemed fine. A day or two later he got really ill. When the doctors checked what he had eaten (I'm not really going to guess) they found quite a scary amount of crap* in it but the worst was 4 different persons 'bodily fluid' in there.


*not literally

This happened in Turkey it seems, but yeah Im sure it was a true story, this guy was like the most boring fekker imaginable and simply wouldnt have had either the imagination or inclination to lie about it

 

[doh_boy]

Originally posted by L_Plates
sound like a curry house were i live. Were you from ?

I live on the border of stockport and manchester.

 

[Wij]

Originally posted by ~Lazarus~
Didnt you managed to block the offending hole by using Wij's knob?

My knob can only be in one place at once

 

[L_Plates]

Originally posted by doh_boy
I live on the border of stockport and manchester.

Not the same then i live near blackpool.

A small curry house was shut down for there staff ejaculating in the food


How some people can actually do this to anyone is beyond me.

 

[dysfunction]

Originally posted by doh_boy
I live on the border of stockport and manchester.

My condolences...

 

[~Lazarus~]

Originally posted by Wij
My knob can only be in one place at once

I rest my case. He only had one hole causing problems and you have neglected to identify an alternative location of your knob at said time.

 

[throdgrain]

/me waits for the kentucky fried rat urban myth to appear

 

[bigbb]

We feel your pain, Summo.

Well, technically I suppose not actually. Nor non-technically. But, still. We feel the feeling of your pain.

I too had a similar experience with my dear old stomach, only a few weeks ago. The fasting thing does work, but I did it more out of not being able to eat anything, than willfully not eating.

 

[GDW]

WARNING GRUMPY REPLY AHEAD
























Has to be the girliest thread in weeks.

Christ he either has a dose of the flu or food poisoning so he'll be right as rain in 24-48 hours. Its not like hes been diagnosed with some deadly disease .


/MOAN MOAN GRUMP

 

[caLLous]

Shut up GDW, after just having my mild pneumonia thing, I know how he feels and the last thing you want is some healthy cnut saying it'll all be ok in 24-48 hours!

There's a swear filter now? :|

 

[GDW]

Girl

 

[caLLous]

Sorry, I'm still getting over the swear filter... There was none of this last time I was here regularly, back in the day...

But anyway, shutupyerface GDW, you'll get no sympathy next time your firing on all cylinders from both ends!