bluergh!

[Mey]

All my life I have been sucessful, everything I've gone for I've got. I have a degree, I was a bereavement councillor, I have a high paid job, I volunteer in a job with alot of responsibility, I have a team of people (7) under my direct control, monies not really a proble, my parents are still married, I have a loving family, some loyal and good friends, but I still feel restless. I constantly feel like I have to prove myself to someone, who I don't know, but I do feel like I have too.

I used to enjoy my life and now I feel like everything I do I have to do to the extreme, I'm getting more drunk than I would ever dream of, drink full bottles of vodka then hitting town (as I write this I've just finished my 5th bottle of strong cider - good quality cider, non the less), staying out till 3am+ then going to work the next day, spending money on stuff I would never need. I've had more one night stands in 6 months than I did in four years worth of uni.

I smoke twice as much as I used too to slay the resltess feeling (smoking is doing something).

I went through a pretty bad break up two weeks before my dissertation, I was a mess, but got through it, I finished my degree, broke off contact admitted it was over and moved on. I see her every now and then now and think what I was doing with her, she was the exact opposite to me, selfish, uncaring and mean. I don't miss her nor do I want her back. But I can't help think that she is the route cause of this feeling.

I've always been abit self concious and before I met her I worked hard to become comfortable with myself, I lost 3 stone in weight and was going the gym pretty much everyday. I had bucket loads of confidence and was the life of most parties, now I feel emotionally detached, I still talk to people but don't really feel like I am connecting almost like i'm putting up a front.

I went to my parents house this weekend and I was very guarded, if family tried too make physical contact with me I'd push them away. I don't want too but subconciously I do, am I just affraid of letting myself love again?

I don't really know why I'm posting this but hey- getting it off your chest is always a start.

</end ramble>

 

[old.Tohtori]

All my life i've been somewhat under karmas thumb, i doubt i've gotten pretty much anything i've gone for. Don't have an education, haven't done anything meaningful to the world, i have no job, i spend my time playing games, i have no people to command, monies alawys tight(debt is fun too), my parents are divorced(way back when) and i haven't spoken to my father in a good 15+ years, family s'alright, health is questionable(diabetes rocks at times), got one loyal friend who's moving away, haven't had a meaningful relationship in a good 6 years, before that didn't even had one and i'm feeling fiiiiiine dandy apples with a cherry on top and have zero complaints about it

Perspective perhaps?

Thing is, i don't worry that much. I go with things, what happens happens etc. I'll get a job when i do, i'll get a girl when i do, debt i'll handle when i get the monies and monies will come when it'll come. Make most of what i got and enjoy the most of it. Nothing that happens is really world ending.

Best advice perhaps, even how cliche it is to say, i got from my mom;

"We can't change yesterday and since tomorrow asn't happened yet, let's concentrate on today."

(Disclaimer; above is written very loosely about me, so don't read too much into it as there's more to everything that can fit in a paragraph )

 

[Vasconcelos]

Welcome to the midlife crisis club. Its warm and fuzzy here

 

[Ezteq]

lol aye it's true, I was listening to a thingy on the radio and they said that fairly successful people from 35-45 are having their midlife crissessess(err) early and suffering feelings of discontent and detachment.

Don't know how to advise you to get over it, I've always found I'll come out of it naturally when I get down. Sounds like you feel there is something missing in your life and you're trying to make it more exciting by getting hammered, go get a pet instead or take up a sport or get a motorbike and a tattoo...thats what folk usually do in these situations.

I think the thing to remember here is its normal, lots of people go through it but only you can get yourself out of it. Whatever, this could all be claptrap anyway I hope you get over it soon xx

 

[Billargh]

Isn't Mey still in his 20's though?

 

[CorNokZ]

 

[Huntingtons]

 

[Nate]

I suggest going to the gym more.

 

[Lamp]

...and stop drinking a bottle of vodka every time you go out & making emo drunken threads

 

[old.Tohtori]

...and stop drinking a bottle of vodka every time you go out & making emo drunken threads

It's better then drinking half a bottle of scotch and coming home to play online poker

 

[Lamp]

at least you can win @ poker

 

[old.Tohtori]

Not when you're drunk

Well, i was doing fine to a point, but then at later stages you just do stupid sh*t.

 

[Mey]

23 in nov, today is my first day off in two weeks.

Woke up miles from my house walked through a fairground dressed as a pirate to get home. Was a fairly liberating experince.

Cheers for the thoughts on my Drunken Emo thread.

 

[Ezteq]

23 in nov, today is my first day off in two weeks.

Woke up miles from my house walked through a fairground dressed as a pirate to get home. Was a fairly liberating experince.

Cheers for the thoughts on my Drunken Emo thread.

Tbh anyone who can say that in everyday conversation has a freeking awesome life!! Dude, you rock :worthy:

 

[Mey]

True I suppose, I can't remeber anything from last night although my bank account tells me I spent £70 some how.