Best quotes thread

Deebs

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Some of the quotes often seen on IRC or elsewhere:

[Sun 11 Jan - 23:44] <MYstIC_G> well, in a jamie oliver recipe, take 1 miserable ****, add alcohol, put in the cold for 20 minutes & you end up with "the fountain of truth"
 

Salteh

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(cga = clan)

<ST8> cga are reasonable from what ive seen on pubs
<Ret|Awah> you look in pubs for info on q3 games? is it pinned up by the dart board or something?
<ST8> rofl
<ST8> pubs = public servers
<Ret|Awah> ah sorry i see
 

Loxleyhood

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Originally posted by Nietzsche
God is dead.
Originally posted by God.
Nietzsche is dead.
I have to enter three characters. After remembering that quote, typing it out in full code and looking up the correct spelling of Nietzsche, it has the nerve to ask me to lengthen it by three characters.
 

Utini

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3 Classics from Tone:
<@DBs^> i want to know whats it like to be shagged by a bloke
<@DBs^> god i would love to be a women
<@DBs^> actually i have worn my birds knickers round bromley for a laugh

#barrysworld buffer Fri Jul 25 20:32:50 2003
 

Deebs

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Utini said:
3 Classics from Tone:
<@DBs^> i want to know whats it like to be shagged by a bloke
<@DBs^> god i would love to be a women
<@DBs^> actually i have worn my birds knickers round bromley for a #barrysworld buffer Fri Jul 25 20:32:50 2003

Um, cant deny the last line except knickers = thong and it itched my crack like fuck.

Dunno what a #barrysworld buffer is tho.
 

caLLous

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•15:28:33• <caLLous> i dunno wtf happened last night, but i woke up on the floor
•15:28:38• <Venom> and im in underwear

:(
 

Munkey

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I say, if anyone has the spam hunting thing saved in their log, here is the perfect place to post it!
 

kan

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<Perplex> i was thinking the other day <Perplex> if you could de-odour shit completely - scat would be pretty cool <Perplex> the colour's not the issue really :\ <Perplex> it's the fact that it smells like...shit

<Perplex> I tried to get my cat to lick my cock once

<tom> i got loads of bukake avis, is it suppost to just be some chink woman sitting there with cum all over her?

<Perplex> I cut my pubes to about 1/2 inch, they look neat, tidy, and inviting

<Grumbledook> christ i aint that stupif

<Zenith|q2> i hate the taste of normal cock

<tomje> i once put ice cream in a rubber and wanked it was unreal

<PP> "heaheh...fanny farts? how the hell does a fanny fart? omg what a lying lamer!"

<maxi---> a day withouit wanking and i can take the cat out from 15 ft

<Horus> imagin doing diyareeya out the window? <Stu> nice spelling
 

Tom

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I think I should point out that I don't use IRC. I also think I should point out (for those who still need re-assuring) that the above tom/tomje IS NOT ME!
 

Mazling

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<Anarchy> belgium paedos are dangerous
<Anarchy> coz they can warp in shag the child and warp out and never get caught
--
<SK> someone tell me to get off my arse and go cut the grass
<SK> no woman around atm
--
* Grimmeh drops to one and give djuhn a short swift punch in the nadgers
* djuhn takes out his testicles and forces the roughly up Grimmeh's backpassage
<Grimmeh> aha, my ploy worked
--
<ScanX> THAT 0E8H
<ScanX> THTA POEN GOOT APEAU
<ScanX> FFS
--
<skelt> breakin a sweat tryin to whisk the thing with a fork
<skelt> why can't it come ready mixed?
<simey> its designed for housewives to prepare for their families not for regular everyday pigs like urself
--
<Arclight> but what do you expect
<Arclight> its the net
<Arclight> more importantly quakenet
<Arclight> where peeps fight over games etc
<Arclight> YOU CALLING MY MOUSE A POOF????????
--

Am I the only person on IRC that is into the habit of keeping a file with choice quotes in? :)
 

Yaka

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is it only irc qoutes alowed? got some minta Gordon strachan qoutes from the papers today.
 

Deebs

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Yaka said:
is it only irc qoutes alowed? got some minta Gordon strachan qoutes from the papers today.
Nah go for it, tho obv the quotes are better if they come from the mouths/fingers of people we know on here or irc :clap:
 

Wazzerphuk

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Mazling said:
Am I the only person on IRC that is into the habit of keeping a file with choice quotes in? :)
I used to: had loads of quality quotes... one day I lost it in data loss, didn't bother after. :/
 

Insane

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had to re-post it :D (yes i know its in my sig)

[Deebs] mum bought me a joke coaster mat (it had tadpoles in a clear fluid thingy), so i said to her "Thats fantastic mum, i need some more tadpoles cos i emptied mine out last night"
 

Salteh

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as requested.... :)

<Nick0r> <CLANLESS AND SEEKING CLAN>
<Dead> :eek:
<^kosh> <BANLESS AND SEEKING A BAN>
<Nick0r> nar don't ban ;x
<RandomBastard> sorry i read that as <CLUELESS AND SEEKING BAN>
<RandomBastard> it you dont want a ban, then dont spam
<RandomBastard> u twat
<Nick0r> that wasn't spamming
<Nick0r> do you know what spamming is?
<RandomBastard> yes
<Nick0r> obviously not
<RandomBastard> Spam is unsoliticed and unwanted messaging
<Salteh|et> and meat in a can I think
<RandomBastard> that was a both unsoliticed and unwanted message
* Ut|Concussed pats salteh
<Salteh|et> was surprised when I came to the UK and saw you ppl actually eat spam :eek:
<Munkey> i've hunted spam salteh, its quite hard :/
<Salteh|et> :eek:
* Ut|Concussed renames munkey to SpamHunter UnProfessional 3.0
<Munkey> need somebody to flush it out for you and you stand ready with a gun
<Munkey> then BANG
<specceh> yer spam is the UKs big game alright
<specceh> my grandad was mauled by a tin once
<Munkey> he survived??
<specceh> just barely
<Munkey> lucky
<Munkey> a friend of mine lost his leg :(
<specceh> :(
<specceh> he used to tell this tale of this huge albino spam up on the moors. i didnt believe it tho
<^kosh> lol
<exxxie> Ive heard tell of it
<Munkey> i saw it once.
<exxxie> big slavvering giant spam .. all white with glowing pink eyes they say
<Munkey> it was a foggy morning and i was out walking
<RandomBastard> specceh it exsists
<RandomBastard> ive seen it
<Munkey> and then i saw a glimpse, a glimpse mind you
<RandomBastard> huge it is
<Munkey> but i turned tail and ran
<RandomBastard> swallowed a friend of mine whole
<RandomBastard> it was terrifying
<RandomBastard> we had to feed it cattle to stop it chasing us
<specceh> they tried to catch it mind you, but they only found some tracks which *might* have just been a 4WD
<exxxie> Id run from the albini spam o' the moors.. no shame there
<Munkey> i can still hear its cries today
<RandomBastard> specceh, aye the great albino spam can swallow a 4wd whole too
<exxxie> a 4WD on the moors? I think not
* Munkey shivers
<Munkey> ah. 4wd. a great beast
<Munkey> i tamed mine you know
<specceh> hehe
<Munkey> now its as faithful as my dog with my slippers
<specceh> your dog wears your slippers?
<exxxie> how does he tread?
<Munkey> no, it ate them
<Munkey> softly. very softly
<Munkey> needs alot of hay to feed though
<Munkey> and you dont wanna be anywhere near it when its horny. thats for sure
<exxxie> worse than Deebs?
<Munkey> hah
<RandomBastard> 10x worse than Deebs
<Munkey> And thus concludes an episode of "night on the moors", actors were RandomBastard, Munkey, specceh, exxxie and Salteh, with Ut providing sound effects from his arse
<Salteh|et> :eek:
<Munkey> i think somebody should send that in to that quote stie
<Munkey> *site
 

Scouse

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kan said:
<tomje> i once put ice cream in a rubber and wanked it was unreal

Dunno bout that - but it did get me thinking..... :)
 

SoWat

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[17:04] <Addlcove> well if I was female I'd rather be a babe than a MILF tbh

[00:29] <Damini> I've just found out my ex boyfriend apparantly dumped me because he thought I was mentally ill

[00:32] <Damini> And everyone back home thought I turned into Napoleon and pooed in the corner

[00:34] <Damini> Anyway, men can be such wankstains. Buit its laughable, so mnh.
 

Whipped

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<Midwich> lol i picked up the phone just at the point u vomited blood
<Whipped> hahaha
<Midwich> the guy on the other end was speaking and i couldn't stop laughing
<Whipped> lol
<Whipped> I got a monkey now

Classic quote during a game of Metal Slug over MAME ;)
 

Utini

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Classic from red dwarf:
<Holly> Jean Paul Satre said : 'Hell was being locked forever in a room with your friends.'
<Lister> Holly, All his mates were french. :clap:
 

SparKeh

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i've always liked this quote for some reason :) maybe because i know what bal's like hehe.

<[MaT]> Dennis you get excited when you put a pizza in the oven and see that badboy baking away
<Choke|BaLLY> i dont get exicted however i sometimes stand there for all 16mins :p
<Choke|Solid> I bet you've videod it and watched it instead of porn dennis
 

SparKeh

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The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

- General George Patton
 

Krazeh

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[15:47] (Deebs): im having my balls removed when i hit 40
 

Clown

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Heh, this has turned into the 'Quote Deebs' thread :(
 

Frizz

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Clown said:
Heh, this has turned into the 'Quote Deebs' thread :(
He owns this place, so naturally it's "funny" to quote the boss. :(
 

Insane

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its more the fact that deebs always comes out with the perfect one liners in the middle of conversations that would make anyone laugh..

except cdr, we are still trying to find out if he really is human...


:p
 

Deadmanwalking

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Insane said:
except cdr, we are still trying to find out if he really is human...

:p
He isn't ffs!

I have been saying as much for ages. Now i just need to find that quote about steps.
 

Doh_boy

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Inspector Raymond C. Fowler: The artful dodger was a thief. And I don't think he'd have considered himself quite so "at home" in a juvenile detention center, which is where I'd have put him. Thieving is thieving and no amount of oom-pa-pa or boom-titty-titty will change that.
 

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