Best man

[Marc]

On saturday I am best man at a wedding for the 3rd time! The 2 best man speeches I have done before were easy as both were friends from childhood up until now, so I had loads of stories to tell. However, the lad who i am best man for on saturday is a relatively latecomer to our circle of friends (5 years). In that time he hasnt really done anything embarassing or done anything that I can really take the piss for. Soooooooo, does anyone have any experience of being a best man with no embarassing stories to tell, or have been at a wedding where the best man didnt tell anything embarrassing about the groom? Do you just spout the bullshit about how nice the bridesmaids look, how its a bad day for single blokes everywhere, how his bride has made him the happiest man alive etc blah blah etc?

 

[Lamp]

I wouldn't set about trying to make shit up for a few cheap laughs. There's plenty of humour you can introduce to the speech without resorting to pictures of his knob stuck up for his friends and family to gawp at.

 

[Sparx]

Mention that you love weddings and honoured that you were chosen to be best man. Everyone knows best men sleep with bridesmaids

 

[Marc]

I wouldn't set about trying to make shit up for a few cheap laughs. There's plenty of humour you can introduce to the speech without resorting to pictures of his knob stuck up for his friends and family to gawp at.

Well yeah, I was toying with the idea that once the groom has done his speech, to stand up and start by saying something along the lines of "christ, is that the first time Emma has let you speak for 2 minutes without interupting?. I dont know much about his family you see, so I dont know what their sense of humour is like. The last best man speech I wrote was fantastic and everyone present were rolling around laughing, this one im not so confident :< Just wanna get it done and out of the way so I can enjoy the rest of the day.

Another Idea, was to get a load of keys cut and give them to my mates in the audience. During my speech I would say "well, Emma, seeing as though you and Andy are now married, you may aswell have this back", then give her a key. Then all my mates would walk up and give her a key aswell. But that could either be absolutly hilarious, or it could spectacularly crash and burn :<

 

[Marc]

Mention that you love weddings and honoured that you were chosen to be best man. Everyone knows best men sleep with bridesmaids

Bit of a problem! All the bridesmaids are like 9, except for one who is 26, the brides sister who ive already bagged. PLus the grooms sister is also my girlfriend! So I cant really put anything in the speech about sleeping with bridesmaids!!

 

[Sparx]

well true LOL

I like the key thing thats hilarious

 

[Nix]

Another Idea, was to get a load of keys cut and give them to my mates in the audience. During my speech I would say "well, Emma, seeing as though you and Andy are now married, you may aswell have this back", then give her a key. Then all my mates would walk up and give her a key aswell. But that could either be absolutly hilarious, or it could spectacularly crash and burn :<

This was done at my wedding, except it was the gals who returned their keys to me

Drawback is that this trick is getting a bit old nowadays I think, as it's been used in quite many weddings already... As you said, if the guests have seen it before or heard of it, it wont be that hilarious

 

[Lamp]

Does your mate like f00tball ?

Throw a few of the crouch photos up on the projector putting your mates head in place of crouchies. Doctor a few youtube/google vids or something.

Also don't feel your speech has to go on and on. 8 minutes tops. After that
ppl switch off. Or wander out for a fag.

1 minute: Thank everyone for coming, say how lovely everyone looks, and thank the parents for all the efforts put into the wedding etc

2 minute: small talk / light jokes about weather / weddings in general etc

3 - 6 mins: talk about your mate

7 min: talk about how the bride is taking your mate away and that he's now under the thumb

final minute: Round up, wish everyone well, have a nice time etc etc

 

[Marc]

fuckin hell!! 8 minutes?? I was working to something like 2 minutes lol!

 

[Lamp]

You're the best man. Its the most important day of his life. When they watch the video of the wedding they don't wanna see the best man rushing through it like he's got something he'd rather be doing instead.

My opinion: take 4 minutes, with 3 minutes of material, and speak slower !

Talk clearly, and slower than you think you need to. Nerves etc affects people's presentation abilities.

IMO do a recorded dry run in your bedroom first and check how you come across.

GL and have a lovely day

 

[Marc]

You're the best man. Its the most important day of his life. When they watch the video of the wedding they don't wanna see the best man rushing through it like he's got something he'd rather be doing instead.

My opinion: take 4 minutes, with 3 minutes of material, and speak slower !

Talk clearly, and slower than you think you need to. Nerves etc affects people's presentation abilities.

IMO do a recorded dry run in your bedroom first and check how you come across.

GL and have a lovely day

The last 2 speeches I did were around the 3-4 minute mark. But I guess this was because I spoke slowly. My mate (the groom) has even got a big screen in the room where the reception is so we can watch the england game :england:

 

[Bracken]

The England game has to be mentioned in the speech...something about being unable to sleep, nervous and excited about the big day etc :england:

 

[Thadius]

The England game has to be mentioned in the speech...something about being unable to sleep, nervous and excited about the big day etc :england:

Aye

"He was up all night worrying, kept breaking out in cold sweats. His hands were shaking but we managed it. We got to the place and there was relief, especially when Beckham knocked in that free kick"

 

[Marc]

hehe good one thad!

Think im gonna go with something like this

"As you will all agree, today is such a big day, after all, if England win we will be in the semis!!!"

 

[Thadius]

hehe good one thad!

Think im gonna go with something like this

"As you will all agree, today is such a big day, after all, if England win we will be in the semis!!!"

Yes!

Use that as an opening line to get a giggle out of people.

Then crack on with serious stuff like how theya re a good match etcetc

 

[Lamp]

World Cup Final tickets

mis posted