Best Chat up lines!!! Evah !

[Haggus]

Following on from Girl Tips thread. I wanna know your best chat up lines that you have used or have been used on you.

Mine has to be.

"Do you sleep on your stomach ?"

They reply with either "yes" or "no"

"Can I ?"

OR

"You know, when I looked at you I thought you were the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Then I remembered that you can't be... Because theres a mirror over there and I just saw myself."

 

[Laddey]

You remind me of a parking ticket

You got FINNNEEE written all over it.

I've like never used it but ok

 

[tookha]

Hehe, good one though. Shame it doesn't really work in norwegian. 8)

It's not really a chat up line, but it actually works. Walk up to the cutie you want to get to know etc, give her money and ask for two beers/drinks and just walk away with a smile on your face.

 

[eggy]

The one I've actually heard used in clubs/pubs the most and has actually worked is simple:

Fancy a fuck?

I read somewhere that about 1 in 30 girls on the street would say yes to that question if the average guy asked it. Add in alcohol, drugs and music and the proportion goes up quite significantly.

Chat up lines are for geeks. Stop worrying about how to impress girls and just be yourself. If the ones you want don't fall for yourself, they aren't good for you anyway.

However, if being yourself doesn't work, always try the above line before 2am.

 

[Laddey]

I read somewhere that about 1 in 30 girls on the street would say yes

Unless you lived in liverpool. Then it's 1 in 30 girls would say no.

 

[Trallisx]

If you spot a really fit bird with her ugly/fat/minging mate just walk up to them and say to the ugly/fat/minging mate:

"Fancy a dance?"

If she says yes, just reply with:

"Well fuck off to the dancefloor while i talk to your mate!"


Never used it, might work, might not. Give it a go

 

[Haggus]

I'm not worried about impressing girls fyi, and there not for geeks. that wasn't what the topic was about. I want good chat up lines so I can sarcly walk up to a random girl and see etc. Maybe for a bet or something

 

[Lamp]

1 in 30

Club near me its more like 22 in 30

 

[Haggus]

What man who isn't a slut, with pride, isn't shameless and has abit of ego would walk upto the fittest bird in the club and ask "fancy a fuck?" ?

 

[Benedictine]

Heres a few I learned when I lived in Germany (apolgies for bad German):

Kann Ich deine baderwasse trinken bitte?

Can I drink your bath water please?

Komme sie meine zimmer meine briefmarken gucken!

Come up to my room and see my stamp collection

Was moechten sie trinken, aber nicht so tauer?

What would you like to drink - but nothing too expensive


Also:

This face is leaving in 10 mins - be on it

You must have fallen from the beautiful tree (in the event of a negative response, add 'and hit every branch on the way down)

 

[Bugz]

Plz can I touch u? :touch:

 

[Laddey]

Plz can I touch u? :touch:

lol I wouldn't if i was you!

 

[Amanita]

Had a drunk guy kiss my hand on the bus, he was kinda cute but smelled too bad to be really nice

There's a tip - don't smell bad!

 

[Eeben]

If i could rewrite the alfabet (sp) i whould put u an i together

 

[tookha]

You must have fallen from the beautiful tree (in the event of a negative response, add 'and hit every branch on the way down)

lol, like the negative response backup! 8)

 

[Himse]

Im liking whats up your skirt luv ;o

you'll either get a laugh or a slap. XD

 

[soze]

This face is leaving in 10 minutes you better be on it
I like your dress it matches my carpet
say i bet you £1 if you let me kiss you it will be the best kiss you ever have. Once you kissed her give her the £1 and say money well spent, Good icebreaker
Your knickers/dress/clothes are horrible take them off!
If i buy you a drink will you give me a blowjob
Your cute fancy making me breakfast in bed?
Get your coat
One that has worked for me - You could do worse than me!
A great looking arse will only get you so far in life i hope your personality is as good.
A mate of mine said buy me a drink and ill let you suck my tounge and it worked
have you got a mirror in you knickers, no, well i can see my self in them
Cant think of any more

 

[Ame]

"Hey doll, are you bored? Try talking to me. I'm from another planet"


Worked for Zaphod

 

[Vladamir]

It won't suck itself love.

 

[[SS]Gamblor]

Man , i take it no one here has every tried chat up line bingo with thier mates..


Basicaly each person had 10 chat up lines , Now you had to use them on different girls, but you had to make sure that you got at least a laugh from each one to win.

Mind you , i don't think anyone ever won as some of them really are bad....

as for the negitive respons ones , i've got a few ready as well


You know you eyes are like spanners , every time i look into them my nutz tighten.

Man , i've had a really hard day , but right now i'm after 2 things , and no it's not dirty ... 1st is a pint/shot which i have , 2nd is to see a pretty woman smile .. give us a smile

Do you know the differnece between a conversation and sex ? - wana go back to my palce and talk ?

You dad must of been a baker - cuz you've a great set of buns

Do you like jewelry ? - well suck my c0ck it's a gem ( i've never seen it work).

Do you believe in love at first sight or should i walk past you again ?

Banna Hammock - i've used this , nearly always gets a laugh

Do you want a scotch and sofa or Gin and platonic - you have to say that sober , it's too easy to f00k up.

What winks and f00ks like a tiger - wink at her

take your leg and tell here - you think this is a leg don't you

Bond , james bond - i like this one cuz it's so cheesy

Do you know what would look better than that dress on you .... me =)

Do you have a boyfriend - yes i do - ok when you a manfriend come find me.

and the best of all

Him i'm <Insert name here> rather than use a crappy chat up line i though i'd come over and talk to you

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now for the ones you usualy will get knocked back from

Me = m
Her = h

m : Wana dance ?
H : F00k off /no /get stuffed
M : No sorry don't think you heard me right , i said you look fat in that dress :touch:


m : So you place or mine ?
h: how about you go to your place and i go to mine
M: sure , after i'm done banking the stuffing out of you in the Toliet/car i don't giv a f00k where you go

m: how do you like your eggs in the morning
h: unfertilised
M: ok i'll cum in your mouth



Ok that's about all i'm sleep deprived brian can think of for now ....

 

[Olgaline]

here's a kevin bloody wilson song for you to enjoy.


blown to much of me time, buying dinner and wine
and me money on flowers and lolly's,
only to find, that whats on me mind,
isnt on hers and she's sorry,
so i've made some lines, that save wasting time,
and keep me from blowing me brass,
I'm ever so cool, i just prob on the stool,
right next to hers and i asked.

choros:

do you fuck on first dates,
does your dad own a bruery,
could i feel your tits,
or would you show em to me,
cause you got a nice head,
and you look preaty honest,
so me face will be leaving in quater of an hour
i'd like you to be on it.

you know how it feels, when you first meet a shiela,
and the bull shit you gotta go through,
like calling her up and tell her you love her,
when all that you'd love is just a screw,
but she wants to hold hands, and you to meet her old man,
and sit around for hours and talk,
but me new method is, you just cut through this shit,
and get down to the goodies strait off..

choros :

Do you fuck on first date,
does your dad own a bruery,
could i feel your tits,
or would you show em to me,
do you sleep in the nick,
do you give head very often,
if we can deside, your place or mine
we can fuck often.

so the next time you see, a good looking shiela,
and you'd give a weeks pay to hold her,
dont sit acting dumb, just front her full on,
and drop a few lines that i've told ya,
this new method of mine, might not work ever time,
but then again no method will,
i've been spat at and slaped, and kneeded i the nackers,
but then i got a few fucks as well,


Do you fuck on first date,
does your dad own a bruery,
could i feel your tits,
or would you show em to me,
if the answer is no,
to me questions above,
then be a good sport, and give me the name,
of a girlfriend who does,

 

[Rediknight]

"Can i smell your feet?"
"no!"
"ahh, must be your minge then..." :|

sorry, that was crude

 

[[SS]Gamblor]

"Can i smell your feet?"
"no!"
"ahh, must be your minge then..." :|

sorry, that was crude

Hahahahaha , i knew i forgot one ... it's really funny to see the reaction you get if you do use it

 

[Vladamir]

"Can i smell your feet?"
"no!"
"ahh, must be your minge then..." :|

sorry, that was crude

LOL! DDDD