BloodOmen
I am a FH squatter
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2004
- Messages
- 18,622
Being British
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish Kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of anything Foreign.
Oh and...... Only in Britain ... Can a pizza get to your house Faster
than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
Rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
Screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
Fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
Were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas
Cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E; in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth...
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.
And finally...
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish Kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of anything Foreign.
Oh and...... Only in Britain ... Can a pizza get to your house Faster
than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
Rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
Screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
Fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
Were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas
Cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E; in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth...
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.
And finally...
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.
